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so, after a quite shocking bad 'date' last night i wondered if anyone else had any horror stories ??
my 'date' started so well aswell, she had an ice cold stella on the bar for me (in a chalice) bit of small talk, good kisser, stroking my ego :d just a shame she had hairy legs :eek: and i mean man hairy, i only brushed across her lower leg and could of used it to sand the rust on the nova down !!!
Needless to say i made my excuses and left sharpish
ouch lol I met an Irish bird on holiday once, she had shaved the bottom of her legs, but not the tops :wtf: her skirt blew up on the beach and I pretended not to notice, let her finish sucking me off then said my goodbyes lol
After finishing the drink I assume? lol
I've had a few scares. One girl, after a particularly dull date, couldn't take a hint to get out of my car after I dropped her off. Must have sat outside her place for a good 15-20 (very awkward lol) mins. Dunno if she expected me to lean over and suck her face off or what. In the end I gave up on politeness and just told her to GTFO as I had places to be lol
lol was her name alan
c'mon what do you think jack - i was on my 3rd when i 'discoverd' - she was well up for a quickie aswell, actually told me so outright lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Jack
i've never had a 'bad' date, but whilst out with the missus have been accosted by some truly shocking things....deb has a habit of sneaking off to find a good view to watch the carnage...
Dated a bird at college in south London, the dad had left when she was young and I felt quite sorry for her, got her under the covers and moved in to give her some attention and her privates had been shaven a few days earlier and had started to grow back, honestly I nearly vomited on her and opted for a handjob and left shortly after
Never to return again.
I won't mention the one with Exzema!
looks like me and mowgli are the lucky ones, or you guys dont no how to spot a rotten rat.
i once met a lass,she was ok looking not mint but boneable, took her back went down for the kill and she had shaved but missed a few hairs! was horrible never again i ignored her from then on
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Originally Posted by davidfox280585
haha i woulda grabbed then like a driveshaft and pulled like feck
never had horror stories, usually quite loverly bangable ones, i'd give them the ole in out.... in out... then say cheers and go :) now ive got a misses, impossible to get rid of
It is possible, but you need to be screwed by a lawyer & a judge to do it...
I had a date with a guy that spend half the evening telling me what drugs he was on and that he reckoned he had a split personality :wtf:
Did he spend the other half explaining about his baby blue nova???
Aww but we make such a lovely couple lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Hayley
Actually our first date I remember stuffing my face with meat lol
I remember my first "internet date" the picture was as old as the age of the person stated on the profile.... I walked away rather quick! lol
Some of you lot are very shallow! But im finding the storys quite funny :)
i'd imagine you were hoping it was the other way round.....Quote:
Originally Posted by jack
lmfaoQuote:
Originally Posted by mowgli
Ah snap. But i stayed for a drink, then soon found out she was mental!Quote:
Originally Posted by brownbear
Never really done the whole dating thing TBH, met all manner of people but the ones I end up with I just met randomly :S
Whats a 'date' :cry:
Tut, give me some credit. I usually wait til after the first date to spring forth "the love sausage" lmfao lolQuote:
Originally Posted by mowgli
a small shrivelled up fruit
Raisin?Quote:
Originally Posted by mk1nova_rich
I do love a good guessing game :D
Eh lol it was a response to Spud's question :p
Poor Spud, and I thought he preferred plums lolQuote:
Originally Posted by mk1nova_rich
I thought it was meant to be a description of Jacks manhood lolQuote:
Originally Posted by mk1nova_rich
I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(
I know the title said horror stories, but I wasn't expecting that. Also I know now a small detail about what Lee's penis looks like, which is a bit wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee
And why did she do that? inexperiance or spite?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee
And why did she do that? inexperiance or spite?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee
Eek, sounds painful! :eek:
hmm dates....dates....hmmm im stuck for even remembering my last one
i have it on good authority, from a few sources that is the worse pain EVAAARRRRQuote:
Originally Posted by Lee
my ex once caught my banjo string between her teeth, she tried to move and i followed her about the bedroom more than when i first tried to pull her !!
when i was a youth! me and a friend was out late and met two girls,they were ok but not marriage material, anyway went back to theres and i was boning one on the sofa while my friend was being sucked off by the other,
well i finished and i looked over at him (same room obviously so these were classy girls) anyway he cum in her mouth and all i remember was her chasing him round the room as he pulled his knob from her mouth she was screaming 'come here i havent finished with you yet' obviously i laughed hysterically at this point, the two girls then went in the kitchen and we did one out the front window laughing!.
wish i was that young again
I hope Stuart apologised? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee
This is the problem with getting a nosh off sergar!!! sicko.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee