My Mrs in a coma after car crash [Archive] - Performance Nova Group

Stanley

13-11-08, 08:52 PM

I made a wee post about this in another thread but a few people wanted me to keep you updated so heres the full shpeel.

My girlfriend was involved in a head on with a Vaux Movano and her Saxo over two months ago. She was trapped in the car for nearly and hour and was unconscious but breathing.

She was heading from my house to hers when the accident happened. Still unknown what happened. All we know is she wasnt on her phone and her car was mechanically ok.

The extent of her injuries were - both feet broken, both thigh bones broken, pelvis broken, right humerous (upper arm) broken, elbow broken, both lungs collapsed, ruptured spleen and an extent of brain damage which we do not know. Her brain was heavily swollen to a very dangerous level.

She had her spleen removed the night of the accident and was put onto life support with a ventilator. She was induced into the coma when she went in but was unconscious prior to this.

Two days after the crash she was moved form Dumfries & Galloway Royal Infirmary (Dumfries) to Edinburgh Western General as she would not wake from her coma.

There she stayed for around 2 weeks until they moved her the Infirmary in Edinburgh, as it has a better orthopaedic (bones) department where her legs and arm where pinned and plated and put into casts. She now has metal bar running down the full length of her thigh bones internally.

Back to the Western where she has stayed up until now where she was kept in Intensive Care.

She started to breathe on her own after a period where they 'weened' her off the ventilator.

She was then moved one step down the ladder to High Dependency (same as Intensive Care, but less 'intense') where she is now fed directly through her stomach wall by a drip, and her ventilator still remains to enter in the front of her neck (tracheostomy) to keep her airways open.

She does react to pain (heart and respiratory rates go up). Her pupils wouldnt dilate but recently one has slightly. This is due to her brain being swollen, but we hope this will progress.

She also yawns alot which is a wierd sight! She flexes her left hand and arm and on the odd occasion, she opens her eyes for a while, the closes them.

There is a fair bit of movement but slowly getting better.

Her GCS (Glasgow coma scale - measurement of how severe someones state of coma is lowest being 3, highest being 15) is usually at a 7-8ish. When she came into the hospital she was a flat 3, unresponsive and needing breathing aid.

She is stable at the moment and seems to be very gradually improving week by week.

She was due to come back down to Dumfries today but there were no beds available.

Not having a car makes going up to see her VERY difficult for me, but i phone at least twice a day and see how shes getting on. Hopefully she'l be down here again soon so i can see her more regularly.

I suppose thats it really. Shes been in a coma for 2 months and 6 days.

EDIT: If anyone has any question, feel free.

Drive safe people.

trackdaynova

13-11-08, 09:04 PM

oh my :( not quite sure what to say to that apart from we all wish her the very best recovery anyone could hope for.

i hope you're keeping strong for her, as it sounds like thats what she needs.

thanks for keeping us informed :(

mayhem

13-11-08, 09:08 PM

damn.. :( wishing you and youre misses the best.

Stanley

13-11-08, 09:10 PM

With regards me, ive been VERY low at times (as im sure you can imagine)

Been to the docs as i wasnt sleeping right etc and he pointed me in the direction of a counsellor, which is ok. Doesnt really do anything for me but doesnt do any harm.

I find smashing things up helps (in a safe environment of course).

Im going to the docs again for anxiety suppression help as im jittery and stutter alot due to exxcess adrenaline in my system. I was told this is due to my brain thinking that im in danger (im constantly in fear of phoning the hospital and getting bad news, so my body thinks im in danger so gives me extra adrenaline incase im chased my a lion in ye olde days)

Contemplated suicide on numerous occasions too. I know its selfish and THE wrong thing to do, but its a way out of the pain, stress and heartache.

Were both 21 in case you were wondering.

Adam

13-11-08, 09:11 PM

Sorry to hear about that mate.
Hopefully she gets better.

Stanley

13-11-08, 09:12 PM

Here is a pic of her (on the left) i took the weekend before the accident.
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j199/stan_the_man87/IMG_7637.jpg

trackdaynova

13-11-08, 09:16 PM

your age shouldn't matter, but the fact you're both so young makes it even harder to contemplate with such situations in such an early part of life!

just be there for her, i'm sure she knows your there, be strong!

Stanley

13-11-08, 09:19 PM

Its a completely unbelieveable story from the outside.

We went to school together and had a brief moment where we were going out etc (what id give to be 14 again!).

We went our own ways after school (we both still liked each other but, A - Didnt tell each other, and B - We lived too far away anyway.

She moved to Edinburgh a few years later with a bloke and i still REALLY liked her and always hoped there may possibly be a chance somewhere down the line.

Her and her man split and she moved back home and we got in contact again. We met up a few times and i told her id always liked her since school to which she said the same!! I was totally taken back and happy as foook. We eventually started seeing each other. I was as happy as a pig in ****, and ironically the day of the crash i was sat there in her car thinking as she drove me home 'God lifes good right now. Ive finally got her' And i was on top of my game, especially as last year my ex had ****ed off with someone else, and id had a general bad run of nutjob women, so you can see why i was happy.

1 Hour later, it was all changed......

So this is why i CANT turn and leave. Ive wanted her for so long and to finally have her means so god damn much. Id give anything and everything to have her come out of this ok. All my worldly posessions, money and my word.

Adam

13-11-08, 09:26 PM

Life can be a right f**ker at times :(

dhdev (Oli)

13-11-08, 09:28 PM

I'm lost for words tbh. :(
But definately don't give up, I know thats easy for me to say. Its times like this when a person's true character shows through and you sticking by her and showing support by phoning continuously is commendable stuff, I'm proud of you and I don't even know you!
Wish her, you and all her family all the best wishes I can.

bmw156

13-11-08, 09:32 PM

OMG this is crazy man, its so unlucky.
if i was closer i would give you my car until you got another, i dont need it anywhere as bad as you do.

at least sheis improving bit by bit, and im sure she will pull through.

you have to keep strong
:)
all my thoughts go out to you and your Girlfriend

Andy

13-11-08, 09:35 PM

That is one of the most moving things ive read.Hope she pulls through.Be strong mate.

Mike

13-11-08, 09:35 PM

Fapping hell mate! My though are with you both!

I had a massive accident in a VTR years ago, I nearly died in that POS car. There build qaulity it utter sheet.

Stanley

13-11-08, 09:40 PM

I had a massive accident in a VTR years ago, I nearly died in that POS car. There build qaulity it utter sheet.

I worked in a salvage yard for two years and we used to get cars coming in all the time where people had died in. I got immune to it. It would be just another car.

I went to get stuff outta her car and if i dont know better id say that someone had died in that car. Drivers corner to drivers corner at an estimated 60mph each way. Dashboard touching the seat, steering wheel in the centre of the car, a pillar missing, door missing. How she got out of it at all, i will never know. Its a miracle in its own right.

Mike

13-11-08, 09:46 PM

I went to get stuff outta her car and if i dont know better id say that someone had died in that car. Drivers corner to drivers corner at an estimated 60mph each way. Dashboard touching the seat, steering wheel in the centre of the car, a pillar missing, door missing. How she got out of it at all, i will never know. Its a miracle in its own right.

Sheet man, sounds about the same as mine bar one extra door & roof still intact!! She'll pull through chap, chin up mate.

L14MNP

13-11-08, 09:49 PM

Here's wishing her and you all the best for a 100% recovery mate!

Graeme

13-11-08, 09:50 PM

Really sorry to hear that mate, hope all goes well for you both

Sloth

13-11-08, 10:06 PM

Stanley

13-11-08, 10:10 PM

hey i've just read through this, sopke to ya on the other thread, stan i hope you dont mind, but i said a prayer for you and your missus, i hope you both recover fully, kindest regards, rob and family.

Thank you so much mate. That speaks so much volume, you've no idea!

Im quite possibly THE most unreligious person ever, but ive even been praying.

My mum lives in Rome and she was standing in the sisteen (spelling) chapel and sent up a prayer too. Got me thinking....

LEWI007

13-11-08, 10:15 PM

Very unfortunate, i hope she gets better soon :(

Sloth

13-11-08, 10:17 PM

it works. i'm a baptised catholic, but i dont go to church. i belive that there is a bigger entity at work in the universe simple as. its there if ya wanna talk, kinda deal. like we, the members of png are too. keep talking fella, it really helps.

crackaway-jack

13-11-08, 10:46 PM

Dunno u obv lad but it sounds shockin, just keep lookin on the brigtside eh..the only way is up and all that.
Hope she gets better quick!

ash anderson

13-11-08, 10:52 PM

sound realy horrific mate-just red the lot:cry:
as many people have said mate keep you chin up mate.
my regards goes out to both of you mate

Spudly

13-11-08, 10:58 PM

As i said in the other thread man im shocked to hell and my heart truly goes out to you both, i hope youve got your mates around you even if its just for someone to be there whether you choose to use them for a shoulder to cry on or just some moral support.
As has previously said there are all of us guys and gals on here to offer you support and kind words, as its always easier to talk to someone (or many someones in this case) you dont know.
I cant begin to imagine the pain and suffering youre going through right now, but dont even think for a minute about not being there for her when she wakes up, which from what youve said is going to happen by the way she is starting to respond to stimulus (sp) youve obviously spent most of your life so far wanting her so your will and feelings for her will be strong enough for her to know and will be something for her to fight and come back for, so keep your chin up bud and remember were all thinking of you both.
As i wrote on the last thread, keep us posted on how she is doing mate, cheers.

John.

Sloth

13-11-08, 11:01 PM

fjc

13-11-08, 11:05 PM

sorry to hear this mate, realy hard hitting story..... hope your girl pulls through and recovers well, so you can carry on your life how you wanted it to be ...........

walshc

14-11-08, 12:54 AM

Another story to further prove life is the cruelest happening

I hope she pulls through it mate and all is ok when she does. She wont like the taste of the penicillin V she`ll have to take for ever now though, with having no spleen, theyre nasty ;)

On another note, i hope you find someone who can help you physcologically too, its obviously hit you hard to even think about suicide. And youre right, it is selfish, whats your mrs going to think when she wakes up and finds out you gave up, after she fought so hard to come through it.
I realise thats tough, but its something i feel you need to realise. Fight it and you`ll be a stronger person afterwards

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward

stuartyj21

14-11-08, 06:49 AM

second that walshc^^^

just hang-in mate and been strong all good things happen to those who wait..

Shaun_O'Donnell

14-11-08, 08:41 AM

My heart goes out to all affected by this. Hang in there.

goldengraham

14-11-08, 02:39 PM

That is really hard hitting mate, All the best for you and your Girlfriend. Chin up and stay positive as that's the best thing you can do for yourself and your Girlfriend now. All the best.
Graham

Mazz

14-11-08, 02:42 PM

dude :(
Having read your first few posts, my eyes were starting to fill up...my heart goes out to you everyone involved...

kelbelle

14-11-08, 05:12 PM

aww all sounds terrible but at least she is improving

Hope your reunited soon and she gets better too!

dj_wudgey

14-11-08, 08:39 PM

my word fella i sincerely hope everything gets bater man!!!!

as kelbelle said though at least she is improoving

but ever so sorry to hear this!!!! hope she gets beter man!!!!

phazer

14-11-08, 10:04 PM

I know I don't know you but I sincerely wish you the best and hope your girlfriend has a speedy recovery. Most importantly, while the hospital do their best - look after yourself.

djshaggeh

15-11-08, 12:05 AM

Thanks for sharing that with us stan. It was a real eye opener with regards to driving and taking things for granted, which I and alot of others do alot and dont even realize it.

I hope everthing works out for you and girlfriend.

nova_niek

15-11-08, 12:24 AM

Just lit up a candle for recovery mate. Broke my right tibia last month, but that's nothing compared to the physical damage she's sustaining right now. As said by all others, chin up and GIVE HER SUPPORT ANY WAY YOU CAN. Believe it or not, she knows it. As for being suicidal... does it help matters? NO. It won't. So don't even think about it. Stick with her. Period.

JonL

15-11-08, 09:18 PM

Wow! That all sounds awful, so sorry to hear all that mate!

Sometimes life doesn't isn't always kind, but you have to stay positive!

I hope your girlfriends condition improves and you start feeling a bit better about it! Take it a day at a time...

Breeny

15-11-08, 09:33 PM

All the best mate, I feel for you.

As others have said positivity is where it's at... having a strong mind is the No.1 priority with things like this. I know how horrible hospital is having had a 15 week stay myself this summer, but I can safely say friends and family are exactly what she needs at the moment, all the medical care in the world does not compare to just having people like you around.

Hang in there fella and I hope things pick up for you soon.

Just a thought, it might be worth reading Richard Hammonds book - On the Edge? Sounds like you're going through the same thing and will give you an insight and possibly prepare you for the future?

KSRY

15-11-08, 10:06 PM

Sorry to hear/read this fella, hope she pulls through, its things like this that makes you realise whats important in life, just make sure you tell her when she wakes up, but I'm sure you will,

pikey1986

16-11-08, 12:15 AM

my heart goes out to you and the people their for her, from what ive read people in that state can still hear you so just be their for her pal, nothing can compare to the support of friends/family

Stanley

16-11-08, 11:26 AM

Cheers for all the comments / actions folks.

Really really means alot to see / hear.

Was up seeing her the noight before last. My mum who lives in Italy came over to see me and do the whole mum thing which was nice.

Rach is now in her own room Edinburgh Western, although shes 'booked in' for coming down to Dumfries on Monday.

I noticed that when i speak to her, i dont get any form of response at all, but when i touch her, her heart rate goes up. I stroked her arm and held her hand etc and her heart rate fluctuated a bit.

I was at the doctors on Friday also and he prescribed me some anxiety suppression pills (beatablockers) to hopefully calm me down and help me sleep etc.

Martin

16-11-08, 11:48 AM

mate ive just read all of this.. and i'm a 20st burly kickboxer, and ive just started crying(hope my coach dont catch me lol) but seriously, i feel for you mate..

all the best to you and youre misses..

chin up mate

Stanley

17-11-08, 10:23 PM

UPDATE

Rach came down from Edinburgh to Dumfries today.

She was tested / swabbed all over to see whats what and they should be back soon.

I was sitting there holding her hand and she was holding on to it too. If i tried to pull my hand away, shed hold on tighter and tighter. She actually left nail marks on my hand she was holding on so tight!

Her hand was in a fist shape, and i placed my open palm facing upwards under her hand. She opened her hand and held onto mine! Her heart rate also went for 78ish to 90ish. Theres obviously something going on in there!

My only slight concern is she has a very slight case of MRSA but hopefully the test results will see how that can be treated.

Sloth

17-11-08, 10:27 PM

mate thats good news! bloody mrsa, i had that when i had me leg op. hope things keep getting better, regards rob

Spudly

17-11-08, 10:28 PM

Mate thats fantastic, the bodys way of healing and repairing is an amazing thing!
Once her body has recovered enough she will wake up and that might not be too far off now with responses like that, im still thinking of you both and wish you all the best and please keep us posted bud:) :thumb:

Stanley

17-11-08, 10:32 PM

Its SOOO much easier with her being closer. Means i can go up after work or just get the bus into town and walk up to the hospital and spend as much time as i want with her!

Spudly

17-11-08, 10:34 PM

Ah thats cool mate plus aswell you know that she aint a million miles away like she seemed before so that should ease your mind a touch, hows you doing anyways bud, obviously you said you been to the docs but it cant be easy though:cry:

Stanley

17-11-08, 10:38 PM

Yeah true.

Im doing a bit better after seeing her today. The beatablockers that the doc gave me are working a treat.

Its like when your in a room and theres a buzzing or humming that you dont notice, and it suddenly stops and everything seems calm. Thats what its like now ive got these pills. Wierd.

In better fettle than i have been though, deffo.

Simon 1867

17-11-08, 10:44 PM

Thats great news matey... Im sure a huge wait has been lifted off your shoulders now she is closer. Im pleased she is responding to you. Keep your chin up, and keep talking to her. She will come round before you know it.

Lynsey

17-11-08, 10:46 PM

Great news, I hope you both continue to get better. Keep us updated sir x

Spudly

17-11-08, 10:47 PM

In better fettle than i have been though, deffo.

Good lad, hopefully the worst is now behind you both and its simply a case of waiting for her to wake up now:thumb:

Having said that you know what its like waiting for a woman, but im sure it will be well worth the wait when you see her with her eyes open:)

Stanley

17-11-08, 10:51 PM

Haha you have a point! Nahs shes actually an ok woman. Straight to the point etc and doesnt take aaaaages to get ready etc etc. Shes a 'keeper'.

Im managing to keep my composure whilst sitting with her now too.

Just ****ing wake up!!!!lol

Spudly

17-11-08, 10:57 PM

Thats cool man, there aint too many lasses out there like that but as i said with responses like youre getting from her right now it sounds like she is fighting hard to come back to you mate, just be there for her and she will know youre there:thumb:

Dod

17-11-08, 11:25 PM

Mate, keep with it, as I'm sure you know, she's worth waiting for and every day you're there waiting its strengthening the bond between you both.

I'm sorry I havent read the whole thread, it reminds me of a similer thread from years ago that didnt end so well, but you have my best wishes and hopes. I'm certain everythings going to work out in the end up.

Dod.

walshc

18-11-08, 02:42 AM

Glad youre both getting better as each day passes :)
Good to hear about the obvious acknowlegement from her too :D

Dont worry too much about the MRSA, most of us have it and dont even know weve got it, as with most things the media over exagerate it and everyone panics as soon as they hear the "dreaded" four letters
Everytime i go in for an op, the MRSA swab tests are possitive, been that way for years and im still rocking, thats without a splean to help fight it off too ;)

stevenf

18-11-08, 02:59 AM

thats really good news mate. hope she wakes up soon and hope you are there to see it too.

Lauren

18-11-08, 11:12 AM

This actually nearly made me cry!

Without sounding derogatory, you sound like the nicest, most supportive and mature 21 year old man I've ever met, and she's lucky to have you.
Hang in there.

almond

18-11-08, 12:22 PM

i dont post on here very often fella but my heart goes out to the both of you. being a fireman i only deal with the initial incidents which is the easy bit. its the rest of it that you two are dealing with thats the hard part. chin up fella youre both young and have the rest of your life together yet.

jimbob-mcgrew

18-11-08, 08:34 PM

damn..... speachless.... she sounds like a soldier to survive all that.
whatever happens man, all the best.
easier said than done, but try stay strong, this cant be easy for you or her family.

MyNovaSr

19-11-08, 09:42 AM

Sorry to hear about the crash

Glad to hear she is making good progress also.

If you feel down, go hold her hand, from what you've said it will make you feel better :)

Chin up

twistysnovagte

19-11-08, 10:02 AM

glad to hear progress is being made,be there for her mate,as shes there for you,admittingly brought a tear to my eye reading what youve wrote,happens to the best of us,hope your girlfriend,yourself and the family have a happy ending.
andy

Gemima

19-11-08, 12:16 PM

I have just read this at work and i am in tears, i hope your girlfriend is getting better, my heart goes out to you. I was in a very bad car accident but i was lucky and only broke my neck, but my god you must be hurting so much inside, just keep the faith.

Gem

skidmarkz

19-11-08, 12:59 PM

i have read this thread loads, and eveytime i go to post i delete it as i cannot explain the heart felt sympathy that goes out to you from me and more so my misses, i had a off on my bike 2 years ago and she did what you are now, stick with it mate, chin up be strong and keep smiling even if you feel like crying, you have alot of support here :)

twin40s

19-11-08, 02:19 PM

why is this thread in the muppet corner?

Stanley

19-11-08, 05:28 PM

Thanks for all the comments folks. Makes me cry when i hear that random people are deeply touched etc and crying, and they dont even know her or me!

My mum lives in Italy and she says that her friends over there are praying for her and me. Even some of my Mums clients in America Emailed her to ask Rach's and my names so they could pray. Really gets me, deep inside.

why is this thread in the muppet corner?

I couldt find anywhere more suitable for it so i figured it'd do. feel free to move it if anyone wants to.

Just on my way up to see her again at 7 tonight. Went up last night but they would let me see her as i'd missed visiting time and they were working with her. Id happily go up every night after work etc.

Adam

19-11-08, 05:32 PM

why is this thread in the muppet corner?
Why, where else do you suggest???

Its the only forum for non car chat.....

Unless you want it in club member chat.

ANYWAYS, good to hear shes making progress mate.

twin40s

19-11-08, 05:33 PM

general chat maybe just seems harsh in muppet chat.sorry

jimbob-mcgrew

19-11-08, 05:35 PM

grr ..razorjack.. :wall: let me speak, it wasnt offensive or negative

Stanley

19-11-08, 05:35 PM

To ber fair, im a bit of a muppet.

Nah as Adam says, its the only non-car chat section so hence my choice.

Not too fussed, to be frank.

Like i say, if anyone feels it should be moved, feel free to do so.

Adam

19-11-08, 05:36 PM

general chat maybe just seems harsh in muppet chat.sorry
There is no general chat forum.....

Anyway, im sure stan_the_man2k4 has a bit more on his mind than a choice of forum.

twin40s

19-11-08, 05:40 PM

sorry stan for feeling your thread up with this.

Hope you are ok and glad to hear your missus is improving.

Stanley

19-11-08, 05:43 PM

There is no general chat forum.....

Anyway, im sure stan_the_man2k4 has a bit more on his mind than a choice of forum.

Please dont quote my username - i fooooking hate it! haha.

Tiz ok folks, and again, thanks for all the comments. Your all REALLY helping me a hell of a lot, which in turn is helping the lady in question, so thanks tonnes.

Leeboo

19-11-08, 11:39 PM

Feck, this thread has made me realise how small and petty my worries are!!

I read your bit and skimmed over the comments, thats tragic mate, there isn't much I can say.

What I will say though, is, you had better be there when she wakes up! Thats the most important thing for you to do!

That comment about her holding your hand is excellent though, surely thats good, its even made me a bit happier lol .

This is all I'm gonna think about tonight!!

Keep PNG updated if/when it suits.

Andy_L

20-11-08, 11:26 AM

Fingers crossed she keeps making progress.

Keep communicating with her.

People might think it's a silly suggestion but I'd get Richard Hammonds book (the one brought out when he had the crash) his wife talks a lot in there about what she went through with him in the Coma. Might help a bit.

Stanley

22-11-08, 12:43 PM

Was up seeing her last night and i noticed that if i run my finger very very gently down the top side of her pinky (small finger), she raises it up as if to make more of a contact. Bizarre.

She has cut her own hand by gripping so hard and cause of her nails she's made her right hand bleed. The nurse said she'l trim her nails.

Whilst talking to her, she yawned a couple times too. Cheeky cow!

Just going to head up shortly again.

I stopped drinking abouth a month ago as it just made me depressed (tears from beers), but last night i thought id have a couple with a mate at their place. I wont be doing that again for a while. Felt ****e :(

Spudly

22-11-08, 01:21 PM

She cant be too far away from waking up then bud as that sounds like she is interacting with you more and more each time you go!

Had to laugh when you said she yawned at you though budlol

Drinking not all its cracked up to be though, especially at a time like this so youre probably better off without, at least until she wakes up and you two can go celebrate:)

bmw156

22-11-08, 01:34 PM

she yawned, nothing changes hey

and yeh i have read richards book its a ****ing good read and it might give you somethings to do, think about.

hope she gets better soon

nova_niek

22-11-08, 03:48 PM

Looks promising if the above messages are anything to go by. Your young lady is alive - and with good reason! She'd better recover, or else...!

Novaboi_1991

22-11-08, 04:21 PM

hi mate, have looked at this thread a few times now,

Any progress?

Hope she gets better sooon,

And im sure everyone lookin at this thread will say we are all hoping and keeping fingers crossed for her,

Just remember you gotta be strong as she needs you,

Novaboi_1991

walshc

02-12-08, 12:45 PM

Hows she doing mate?
And yourself?

Emmy

02-12-08, 02:25 PM

My thoughts are with you, Its so sad to hear what has happened,I hope you both get through this hard time together.

lukogte

02-12-08, 03:04 PM

lifes a bitch a times happens to the best of us, really touching story that i hope you both get better asap just hang in there buddy my thoughts are with you.

Stanley

02-12-08, 07:31 PM

Hey.

Shes doing ok. Still in a coma, but getting there. Thats 80 days today. (Phileas Fogg made it round the world in the time its taken so far:confused:)

There arent any real substantial changes. She does look a bit more alert at times.

Apparently this thread is being posted on other forums which is nice!!

Im doing ok. Started a new job as storeman at Currys (i was a salesman at Currys prior to this) so im getting home, shattered, so sleeping good.

Lifes getting a bit of a routine to it. Go to work, go to hospital, go home to bed, repeat.

Im finding it easier to talk to her. I now go in and chat away, telling her what ive been up to, then i find myself just sitting gazing at her. Especially when she has her eyes open. Its bizarre.

Im also on beattablockers to keep me calm etc.

Thanks for the concern folks, as ive said previously, feel free to ask questions etc.

FUSION X16XE

02-12-08, 07:38 PM

woow your a strong man mate :thumb:

Emmy

02-12-08, 08:04 PM

Its good to know there are improvements, you are really strong just keep on going, all the best with your new job.

Newwy

02-12-08, 08:16 PM

my thoughts are with you mate and i hope it all gets better mate

stay strong

bmw156

02-12-08, 08:27 PM

glad your still going strong dude, wish you the best in your new job and i hope she wakes up soon

CoolTiger

02-12-08, 08:47 PM

cant be long now with all the response your getting off her :)

also its been posted on
midnightracing my local cruise site
http://www.midnightracing.co.uk/upload/index.php?showtopic=41265

also been told its on corsasport aswell

staggy_gsi

02-12-08, 10:18 PM

holy crap, only just seen this thread today.

really hope everything works out for you man, stay positive.

Dod

02-12-08, 10:54 PM

Hi mate, I've added a link to this thread on Total Opel and on behalf of the site I wanna say you've a great brave man to sit and not go mad. I wish you and your missis all the very best and a speedy recovery.

Nova_Tek

02-12-08, 11:47 PM

Sorry to hear that matey, I have been reading this thread for a while and it looks like you are still hanging on in there. Have to give you big respect for that. No one can really comprehend whats going on in your mind or how tough it is although many of us have probably thought about it.

It's good to hear that she is more responsive. I think this is partly your efforts seeing as your routine has been visiting her frequently and talking to her. Keep up the conversation with her fella the more stimulation she gets from a familiar voice the better.

Congrats on your new job too. I wish you all the best mate.

125scouse

03-12-08, 06:30 PM

got linked to this thread off byebyegti.com

used to post on here alot when i had my nova but havent seen anything on here for months worth posting for.

i read this though and it was truly upsetting, i think life is harsh at times and that i have it bad. nothing even close to this though.

in all honesty though mate going through what you have would of torn me in half, the fact you can post about it on the internet and the fact you've stuck by her all this time and stayed mentally and phyisically strong i have alot of respect for you and i've never met you in my life. the world is running short of GENUINE faithful people.

stay strong fella, she'll be back smiling soon,

white2lSR

03-12-08, 08:50 PM

wow :confused:

Stanley

03-12-08, 10:00 PM

Andy

03-12-08, 10:14 PM

Mate thats brilliant,Your so strong and brave.What you do/have done is incredible.Keep your chin up.

021-bennettt

03-12-08, 10:43 PM

I dont no what to say 2be honest mate!!
You have 2be an incredibly strong person 2go threw something like what your going threw!! I got shivers down my back when i read what you first wrote . . . . . . you are a very unique person,be strong!

Hobbit

03-12-08, 11:15 PM

Got my fingers and toes crossed that she gives you an early crhistmas present of waking up :)

Dod

04-12-08, 10:35 AM

Mate, you and your missus will be legends as soon as she wakes up. As you say, its only a matter of time before she wakes. You've gotten a lot of responces on Total Opel as well, so if you fancy having a gander, heres the link:
http://totalopel.com/forum/showthread.php?t=803

You may need to register to view it but feel more than welcome to do so mate. Same applies to anyone else.

bmw156

04-12-08, 11:02 AM

Jesus i didnt realise this was getting posted on other sites so much!!:tard:

You have no idea how much this is helping me. My counsellor says that she is no longer needed by me as the way im dealing with things is a "work of art" as she said. SHe says that using site such as this one is a great way to help, as its basically a 24/7 counsellor at the touch of a button.

Ive knocked the beattablockers on the head too as i want to try without them. Rach being back in Dumfries is helping a hell of a lot too.

Just back from the hospital, and she seemed a bit more lively. She reached across and pulled the heart rate monitor off her thumb, as if completely normal. She lifted her head off the pillow a couple times too and tried to turn and look at me.

The nurse said that if she asks Rach to open her hand, sometimes she will do it. It may take a few seconds or she may not always do it, but it shows there is a little bit going on in there! She was moving her left leg a bit too tonight which is new. Also if i let her hand go, she will fish around for something to grab onto until she finds a teddy or a hand.

Im quietly confident that she wont be long now.......

Once again, thank you all folks. Youre helping me, which is helping Rach.

sounds like it might be befor xmas, which i spect would be the best present ever

keep strong dude:thumb:

edens-xe

04-12-08, 11:43 AM

omg stan, just read this thread and it has brought me to tears, its such a shame things like this happen as you never expect it to happen to you.

reading through her progress though its good news, im no doctor but that is definatly a big step forward into her waking up!
my heart and soul go out to all of you as i cant even imagine the heartbreak and pain your going through.
fingers crossed for you buddy, good things come to good people and you deserve it all.
stay strong and stay brave:thumb:

Spudly

04-12-08, 12:32 PM

Thats fantastic news bud so she really cant be too far away from conciousness now then if she is responding to spoken requests thats awesome!

As others have said you deserve a medal for the amount of stress pain and suffering you have battled through and im so glad to hear youre doing well now, keep smiling bud and ill keep everything crossed she wakes up to you before christmas

Im not a religious man myself but seen as how its christmas and all maybe we call all say a prayer/few words to whoever may be up there and maybe we could help with a christmas miracle of getting her to wake up for you bud!

Or you could all just tell me to shut up lol

125scouse

04-12-08, 09:37 PM

Jesus i didnt realise this was getting posted on other sites so much!!:tard:

You have no idea how much this is helping me. My counsellor says that she is no longer needed by me as the way im dealing with things is a "work of art" as she said. SHe says that using site such as this one is a great way to help, as its basically a 24/7 counsellor at the touch of a button.

Ive knocked the beattablockers on the head too as i want to try without them. Rach being back in Dumfries is helping a hell of a lot too.

Just back from the hospital, and she seemed a bit more lively. She reached across and pulled the heart rate monitor off her thumb, as if completely normal. She lifted her head off the pillow a couple times too and tried to turn and look at me.

The nurse said that if she asks Rach to open her hand, sometimes she will do it. It may take a few seconds or she may not always do it, but it shows there is a little bit going on in there! She was moving her left leg a bit too tonight which is new. Also if i let her hand go, she will fish around for something to grab onto until she finds a teddy or a hand.

Im quietly confident that she wont be long now.......

Once again, thank you all folks. Youre helping me, which is helping Rach.

totally true, you can pay councellors the biggest amounts of money in the world and they can do amazing things in most cases. but i think you have more than enough people on here behind you fella, you know you could post on here whatever time and always get a reply off somebody.

this thread has gone onto passionford too so i should imagine it will be getting mega loads of views off there too.

has got to alot of people what your going through mate, keep at it you have the best christmas present of her waking up totally in due time mate

walshc

05-12-08, 12:10 AM

Thats briliant news dude
Congrats on the promotion too, that will sure give you a confident boost and help deflect your mind at bad times

cabriolet

05-12-08, 09:09 PM

new member christ read your post on passion ford good news made me cry 5 foot 7 and 17 stone of muscle still affects us all

krobinson

05-12-08, 09:14 PM

I've been reading this a while, but never known what to say that others hadn't already. Just wanted to say i'm reading and hopeing she wakes up for you ASAP.

She's showing really positive signs, and your showing real maturity and strength throughout, hat's off to you mate!

Stanley

08-12-08, 09:06 PM

Hey folks.

No real updates. Just that Rach has been moved another step down the ladder to the Acute Rehabilitation Unit, where they hope to concentrate on physio and generally getting her to move and try to rebuild/regain muscle and movement that shes lost.

Shes still in a coma.

Just back from the hospital now and shes definately making progress. As soon as i went in her room and spoke, I saw her heart rate jump from 92 to 127 and she started breathing alot faster. She responds to touch alot too. Especially her right hand, which she doesnt move much if at all.

A few very positive and some bizarre signs!

Emmy

08-12-08, 09:08 PM

Aw Stan its great to hear more positive improvements.

trackdaynova

08-12-08, 09:14 PM

Been reading this thread, since my first reply on page1, but not replied since.

Still reading, still interesting, keep your chin up - and that, in turn is helping her.

just imagine what how she'll feel when she realises what you've beend doing for her these passed weeks, and she reads this.

she'll be made up :thumb: :D

mayhem

08-12-08, 09:35 PM

i think we all keep an eye on this thread, although mostly i just dont know what to say..

from holland i'm wishing you and youre misses all the best mate.

George g

08-12-08, 09:37 PM

hop youdont mind me linking it to passionford, though some more people helping would be good! my first reply to the thread. keep strong mate! hope you get a good christmas present (if you know what i mean!)

Stanley

08-12-08, 09:40 PM

hop youdont mind me linking it to passionford, though some more people helping would be good!

Not at all mate. At least if it makes people think, then one good thing has come of this.

Spudly

08-12-08, 10:22 PM

Even more brilliant responses, she is just keeping you waiting now aint she bud, everytime i see this thread bumped im hoping to read the words "shes awake" but that cant be far off now man.

Hope youre still doing your best to smile through and keep your chin up mate, still thinking of you both:thumb:

Jim Mcrae

09-12-08, 01:21 AM

Wish you all the best man. You are a star for being with her though all this, I really hope all is well soon. :)

kc_08

10-12-08, 12:06 PM

cabriolet

13-12-08, 06:01 PM

any updates fella thinking of u and yr girl

Stanley

13-12-08, 06:15 PM

Hey.

No major updates. Ive not been up since monday as i have a cold so cant go and see her, which sucks really bad.

I still phone twice a day and they say she's getting on very well. At the moment she still has her Tracheostomy, which is a pipe which enters her airway via the front of her neck, meaning she breathes through that now, instead of her mouth/nose. they have been closing the Tracheostomy off for 15 minutes at a time to get her used to breathing through her mouth again. they say thats going well.

the new ward shes in is soooo much nicer. They actually have a conversation with you over the phone, which isnt usually the case. They even put the phone to Rachaels ear so i can speak to her, which i thought was really nice.

R1CH

13-12-08, 06:33 PM

Just read thru this, lifes a bit sh*tty sometimes fella but you seem to coping with it all pretty well (hats off to you), from what you've said theres a good few signs of improvment, in time it all be sweet, hopefully thats gonna be sooner rather than later tho.
Thoughts are with you both ... it'll all turn out good in the end !!

Emmy

13-12-08, 06:36 PM

Your a lovely guy to be standing by your girlfriend Im sure when your girlfriends better she will be so thankful that you have been by her side all the time and I think making a diary and getting cds is a fab idea.I hope you feel better too.

Stanley

13-12-08, 06:54 PM

Ive liked her for so long that i couldnt just turn and leave her. Not going to let her slip through.

Emmy

13-12-08, 06:56 PM

That's lovely.

ben doodar

14-12-08, 12:58 PM

all the best to you both mate. hang in there.

Stanley

14-12-08, 01:17 PM

I really do think someone up there is having a hell of a laugh at mine and my familys expense.

My brothers girlfriend was date raped on friday night. This is not long after she has got over having meningitis.

WHat the **** is going on? Seriously.

Emmy

14-12-08, 01:24 PM

Thats awful is your brothers girfriend ok, to recover from something as serious as meningitis and then something so terrible to happen is really sad,there are some sicko's out there. Its hard iv had lots of ups and down in my life too, some worse than others specially when it happens all at once but yourself and your family try and stick together and be strong.

Stanley

14-12-08, 01:43 PM

Also had a dream about Rach last night.

I dreamed that she woke up in her hospital room, got up and was walking around as if normal. I was telling her to calm down as she had only just woken up and her broken legs had only just healed and that she should take it easy, she said she had bandages etc etc and was fine. She looked really happy and was in great fettle. I was ****ing overjoyed, but when i opened my eyes and woke up, i realised it was a dream. I was ****in gutted.

Cle

14-12-08, 01:49 PM

I've been following this thread but i really didnt no what to say, but i wish you and your girlfriend all the best and i hope you both recover :thumb:

Emmy

14-12-08, 02:14 PM

Im sure Rachel will come back to you :)

George g

20-12-08, 05:04 PM

any updates chap? how you coping? hope you are well!

Emmy

20-12-08, 05:06 PM

I hope Rachel is making more improvements and that you are all staying strong at this hard time.

Stanley

20-12-08, 05:11 PM

Hey.

No real updates. Shes doing ok. Seems very steady and making gradual progress. Still going to see her every 2nd night and still phoning every day.

They have changed her tracheostomy (breathing apparatus in her neck) for a smaller one, in the hope to eventually have it removed.

Im ok yeah. Finally got myself a car again so that will help at hell of a lot. I live 13 miles out of town so getting the bus has been very frustrating and expensive (£200 per month). So thats been a real boost for me, as i LOVE driving.

When i was up on thursday, as i was leaving i gave her a kiss on the forehead and she opened her eyes. Really got to me.

Cheers again folks.

Emmy

20-12-08, 05:15 PM

Hey,

Thats a good sign that they have changed the tube to a smaller one this will hopefully make it easier for Rachel to breathe, Its also great to know she opened her eyes when you kissed her forehead that shows that Rachel is slowly coming round.

Nice to hear you got a new car too.

Novaboi_1991

20-12-08, 05:22 PM

mate, i been following this thread for ages, and i must say you must have a heart of gold, i couldnt cope,

hope she pulls through, an hope to see her at PVS next year?

Nice one mate

Stanley

20-12-08, 05:24 PM

mate, i been following this thread for ages, and i must say you must have a heart of gold, i couldnt cope,

hope she pulls through, an hope to see her at PVS next year?

Nice one mate

Cheers mate.

Hmm now thats a thought.......:)

Spudly

20-12-08, 07:33 PM

As novaboi said dude, id be going radio rental by now you must have the patience of a saint i keep hoping and wishing to read the words she is awake and they cant be far off coming now, as with everyone else following this one mate im thinking of you both bud:thumb:

Btw i think the wheels look good too lol

Copers

20-12-08, 07:53 PM

just read bits of this thread but hope everything turns out for the best, in situations like this everyone pulls together and helps, your freinds, family, people you dont really no ie png,

i went through the same sort of thing in janaury with my aunty and cousins in scotland but was slightly different

so keep up the good work and stay strong buddy

dj_wudgey

20-12-08, 08:01 PM

hope shes getting beter dude!!

Matt Pickering

20-12-08, 08:04 PM

I haven't posted on this thread as yet, but have read other members messages, and couldn't think of anything to put that already hadn't been said. so....

My thought's are with you and your families, hope you can/do enjoy the festivities as much as posible, sounds like she's making encouraging sign's of improvement and things are going to be good

Matt...

cabriolet

20-12-08, 08:07 PM

still thinking of u and rach fella keep your chin up and keep us all updated

white2lSR

20-12-08, 11:48 PM

im subscribed to this thread, bet loads of others are waiting for the good news. Which im sure will come soon!

Paul

21-12-08, 06:09 PM

Im really touched by this thread, don't realy think theres much that I can say mate, sounds as though your coping really well and shes getting better!

Hope it's not long now til shes awake!

George g

22-12-08, 03:01 PM

that sounds promising mate! hope you get a nice surprise over the festive holidays mate! :thumb:

nova_niek

22-12-08, 07:31 PM

When i was up on thursday, as i was leaving i gave her a kiss on the forehead and she opened her eyes. Really got to me.
Cheers again folks.

I know I would cry with happiness. As said by all others, you must have the patience of a saint. Respect.

125scouse

24-12-08, 11:46 PM

slowly but surely shes coming back to you fella, fantastic to read some progress. roll on 2009 matey and having her back with you.

keep strong bud, Gaz

bmw156

24-12-08, 11:55 PM

hopefully she will wake up on christmas, that would eb the best xmas present. if not befor new year. s great time to start a fresh :)

keep at it dude
your going strong

Ricky G

25-12-08, 12:00 AM

i hope she give's you the best christmas ever by waking up. i have so much respect for what you are doing for her, i check this thread as much as poss and it realy does show that there are decent people out there. hope you have a good xmas fella.

Stanley

25-12-08, 04:09 AM

Thanks folks. Happy Christmas everybody. If you get a chance, spare a thought for Rach.

Thanks again.

Dod

25-12-08, 09:39 AM

Happy Christmas to you and your missus mate. :thumb:

Ernie

25-12-08, 09:44 AM

Happy christmas to you and Rach x x

chris gsi

25-12-08, 09:47 AM

happy christmas to you and rach me and the other half are thinking of you both

dougie_boi

25-12-08, 10:22 AM

happy christmas to and rach

cabriolet

25-12-08, 10:42 AM

thinking of u and rach merry christmas and hopefully a happy new year

Jay

25-12-08, 12:05 PM

Merry christmas to you both. :)

krobinson

25-12-08, 12:11 PM

Merry Christmas to you both mate :)

CoolTiger

25-12-08, 12:23 PM

happy christmas to you and rach :)

Stoo

25-12-08, 12:34 PM

Best wishes matey.

Hobbit

25-12-08, 01:04 PM

Thinking of you both. x

125scouse

25-12-08, 01:28 PM

All the best to the pair of you.

021-bennettt

25-12-08, 02:13 PM

Happy Christmas

Tim-SR

25-12-08, 03:57 PM

merry christmas mate hope your missus is better soon :thumb:

and a happy new year to the both of you :)

Sloth

26-12-08, 02:50 AM

merry christmas stan and rach. happy new year too!
rob and family.

Andy

26-12-08, 12:08 PM

Merry xmas stan and rach,all the best,Andy and family.

cabriolet

01-01-09, 07:36 PM

any news stan thinking of u both fella

Stanley

01-01-09, 11:48 PM

Cheers folks.

No news really. She's much the same. Not getting any worse though.

Was up yesterday and the nurse that was looking after her at the time had straightened Rach's hair 'cause she knew i was coming up. Which was really nice. She was very awake and was just lying there with her eyes open, looking at me. Didnt want her to see me cry so i had to turn away at one point.

Hopefully 2009 will bring good news.....

Sloth

02-01-09, 12:03 AM

indeed, its amazing to read the full thread, and see how far you both have come. i hope to see you both at pv matey! all the best rob and family!

Dod

02-01-09, 11:20 AM

Happy New year Stan mate. Lets hope it brings all you and the lass need. :thumb:

Stanley

08-01-09, 04:25 PM

Just to let you all know, there is no news.

I havent went mad and lost this site, yet.

Still going up to see her every 2nd day and phoning every day.

phazer

08-01-09, 04:34 PM

Hang in there dude. Hope theres some more positive news for you soon :thumb:

wizzy

08-01-09, 04:40 PM

aww i hope she gets better mate

Stanley

08-01-09, 04:45 PM

That'l be 17 weeks on Saturday coming.

Pretty out of this world to be honest.

Next big day will be Valentines. I know its a con anyway but still.......

Lynsey

08-01-09, 07:16 PM

If she's not much better by Valentine's Day, I've got a great idea for you :)

Just go somewhere quite and secluded and light one of these fire lanterns. It flies off into the air like a hot air baloon and goes for miles until it's all burnt. You can write on it first, a wish or all the things you like/ love about her. Then let it fly off up into the sky :)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0012XFWBG/ref=s9subs_c5_86_img1-rfc_g1_si1?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=0WP25RD4B5791TDR7J68&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=463374953&pf_rd_i=468294

My friend had the plain ones, she gave her three children one each and told them to make a wish for New Year. The lad asked for a box of chocolates so she put a box of chocolates on his bed in the morning, the little girl asked for a horse and wonderedf why there wasn't one on her bed in the morning lol I don't think a piece of paper with 'I.O.U a horse riding lesson' means much to a three year old LMAO

I hope she continues to improve, Best wishes x

Stanley

08-01-09, 07:18 PM

That is a really nice idea.

Just hope that she can be there to see it......

08-01-09, 11:20 PM

I know you said you turned away cos you didn't want her to see you distressed and I can understand why - its a bloke thing! But I reckon that maybe she should see you upset if thats how you are feeling. It might help stimulate her out of the coma?

Have you any ideas about trying favourite music etc to help her or is that stuff not worth trying?

walshc

09-01-09, 02:04 AM

Praying she wakes for V day dude
What a nice thought, 2 devoted lovers sharing time after such a depart :)

Novaboi_1991

09-01-09, 02:10 AM

keep in there bud,

Sloth

09-01-09, 02:49 AM

That is a really nice idea.

Just hope that she can be there to see it......

she will be matey, we all do.:thumb:

walshc

14-01-09, 01:15 AM

Any progress mate? :)

Stanley

14-01-09, 07:09 AM

Nothing major. Yesterday was 4 months that she's been in a coma.

She seems to be a bit better every time i go see her. She seems to stir more when i speak to her and touch her. Still very surreal.

One thing she has started doing is holding her breath, which worrys me. It sets off an alarm and its all a bit weird really.

I maybe dont notice some of the improvement as i see her quite often.

LEWI007

14-01-09, 07:56 AM

Thats upsetting, hope she gets better soon man :)

Rickyb

14-01-09, 08:40 AM

i hope she gets well soon matey you just hold in there.

bmw156

14-01-09, 10:56 AM

keep going man, you have done it for 4 months and im sure you coudl do it for another 4.
absolute legend:)

Dod

14-01-09, 11:13 AM

One thing she has started doing is holding her breath, which worrys me. It sets off an alarm and its all a bit weird really.

Its quite possible that she's doing this as a way to get attention and to let people know she is there, she is able to see and hear but that she just cant communicate, they are all good signs and indeed signs of progress at least mate.

Stanley

17-01-09, 05:53 PM

Any ideas for a Valentines present for Rach if she is still in a coma?

'Bizarre predicament of the week'

Sloth

17-01-09, 07:22 PM

her favourite perfume? the smell will maybe trigger something? or a cd of her favourie music?

Andy

17-01-09, 07:23 PM

her favourite perfume? the smell will maybe trigger something? or a cd of her favourie music?
Thats a brilliant idea is that.:thumb:

Lynsey

17-01-09, 10:17 PM

Well, I already mentioned the lantern. Not exactly a present for her but you can shower her with gifts when she wakes up properly.

cabriolet

17-01-09, 10:51 PM

christ fella thats a hard one get her a card with an iou inside for anything she could want agree with others something she can smell touch smell or hear the family and me check your posts every day keep your chin up fella

bmw156

17-01-09, 11:10 PM

+rep for sloth, the perfume is probs the best idea, a spray once everytime you see her. just a ncie bunch of flowers, roses maybe. even tho she cant see them its the thought that can count.

nova_niek

18-01-09, 07:51 AM

One thing she has started doing is holding her breath, which worrys me. It sets off an alarm and its all a bit weird really. I maybe dont notice some of the improvement as i see her quite often.

Stan,

I recently got to speak to a friend who had been through surgery (and the anaestesia (sp?) that goes with it. After surgery was completed, she was sent to recovery as with all regular patients. She then wouldn't wake up, as if she slipped into a coma. Scary. One of the nurses had seen this happen before, and talked her through in a very interesting way.
Seeing as she wouldn't/couldn't respond. the nurse asked her to breathe out once for "no" and twice for "yes" when asked a question, that kind of thing. I hope you understand what I'm on about.
It just might work for you and your loved one.

Best,
Niek

sr1400

18-01-09, 10:18 AM

mate as a gift is there ne thing that you no she wanted b4 the accident? cd maybe or shoes or sumint? if so try and get that cos then you no she gonna wake up and see you there with the last thing she can remember wanting! hope she does get better mate and good to see you standing by her! takes a proper man to do that and be there for her when she wakes up! hope all goes well! u should be proud of urself!!!!!!!!

walshc

19-01-09, 04:12 AM

I say make a collage of all her favourite things - photos of family/friends/pets etc, clipings about her favourite books/films/artists etc, cut off from her favourite clothing, that sort of thing. Not only is it very thoughtfull (girls love thoughtfull gifts ;) ) but you will have fun doing it and will make you feel good at this awfull time :thumb:

Stanley

21-01-09, 06:39 PM

Thanks for all the suggestions folks.

I think il just keep it simple with a card and il treat her if/when she wakes.

Its recently kind of dawned on me that im not going to get my Rachael back as i know her. Of course i'l be there for her, but in a relationship sense, i think it wont be possible. I think that she will not be the Rachael i fell in love with.

Its been a hard few days.:(

Stanley

21-01-09, 09:02 PM

Rach has now taken ill too. Shes been vomiting and generally in ill health. She looks and acts exhausted. Trying to yawn but doesnt have the strength. Her feed has been stopped too until shes better. I stayed for ten minutes tonight but had to leave. Was all a bit too much.

dougie_boi

21-01-09, 09:17 PM

really sorry to hear that mate but try your best to keep positive mate for you and her time is a healer just got keep positive

batesy

22-01-09, 12:19 AM

mate you are probalies (SP) the most insperational person on here... my uncle had a really bad crash similar to your missus was in coma for 5 months and was really bad but all my family did was to be there for him and support him... i was only about four or five at the time so didnt really understand but reading your thread i can imagine what my families thoughts and feelings where...my other uncle died lat november committed suicide (off topic i know sorry) but what he did for my uncle who was injured was my uncle was really and still a massive newcastle united football fan and he went to there training ground when kevin keegan was first in charge and shearer was there and got them to record a message to him..... the first time it was played he woke up... so maybe try and get a song or album or the like that your missus was into before the accident to hopefully try and entice her out of the coma....

good luck mate will keep praying for you and your missus..

best wishes

Liam :)

Sloth

22-01-09, 12:23 AM

mate, im gutted to hear this, but i pray that she pulls trough. she will be the same bud, you never know...

Dod

22-01-09, 09:23 AM

It seems as though she's trying to recover too quickly, she obviously wants to wake up but she's straining herself and tiring herself out.

As for her not being the same person, I cant see how this is the case mate, why would she be any different? Ok there may be some fear and emotional damage due the the accident and its possible that will effect her in day to day life, but not to effect her personality or all the things that ,ake her who she is.

Stanley

22-01-09, 05:55 PM

As for her not being the same person, I cant see how this is the case mate, why would she be any different? Ok there may be some fear and emotional damage due the the accident and its possible that will effect her in day to day life, but not to effect her personality or all the things that ,ake her who she is.

I fear she will be brain damaged. To me, that is the worst case scenario, as she will suffer for the rest of her life. And also i dont know what i'd do. Would it be bad of me to end our relationship if she was brain damaged? Id still be there as a mate, but imagine that from her perspective. Itd be hell. Granted, the damage may not be very severe, but i suppose im preparing for the worst.

Welsh Dan

22-01-09, 06:18 PM

I fear she will be brain damaged. To me, that is the worst case scenario, as she will suffer for the rest of her life. And also i dont know what i'd do. Would it be bad of me to end our relationship if she was brain damaged? Id still be there as a mate, but imagine that from her perspective. Itd be hell. Granted, the damage may not be very severe, but i suppose im preparing for the worst.

If you care enough to visit her every day, you care enough to stay with her afterwards. :thumb:

bmw156

22-01-09, 06:20 PM

my friend was just in a simular suitation with a girl who he had just started going out with, had problems with her head and was brain damaged i think. he had to make the hard decision as well.

and i have mixed feelings about being there as a partner or friend, im not sure what i would do. but what i do know is you are doing very well atm and im sure you can do it for a long time to come as yet.

Will F

22-01-09, 06:22 PM

I have just seen this thread - only because I saw it from the homepage, as I dont usually go in Muppet....

I dont think this thread should be in here tbh, but then again I cant think where we could put it!

Mate, I am not even going to try and understand what you are going through, I experienced something similar when my girlfriend of 10 years went in for a major op (60/40 fatality rate) and I was in bits. When she came around and spoke it was the best feeling in the world...

Just keep thinking how good it will feel when she comes around and that will keep you going,

All the best dude.:)

Stanley

22-01-09, 06:22 PM

If you care enough to visit her every day, you care enough to stay with her afterwards. :thumb:

If she is brain damaged, then its not the same Rachael that im going out with. And its Rachael that i love.

Now this may sound sick or whatever, but i dont want to go out with someone who needs full time care. Picture it from my perspective.

bmw156

22-01-09, 06:24 PM

its almost like if she is brain damaged that your racheal has been lost and you are now caring for a new racheal.

must be mega hard looking from your perspective

Welsh Dan

22-01-09, 06:28 PM

Stanley

22-01-09, 06:28 PM

its almost like if she is brain damaged that your racheal has been lost and you are now caring for a new racheal

Dont get me wrong, i wouldnt just write her off and move on. I couldnt do that. Id still be there as a very good mate and do anything i can to help. Ive known her for years, regardless of our 'relationship' together.

bmw156

22-01-09, 06:30 PM

tbh dude i think you have done extreamly well to come this far, and still be seeing her so regularly as you are. im sure she is very happy that you are there. and im sure she would understand if you were the person who had had the accident. and im sure you will be there for her rain nor shine what ever happens.

keep at it

Stanley

22-01-09, 06:34 PM

I do picture it from your perspective. I know I'd stick with my other half if it happened to her. What I said above was the most polite way of saying "If you're not going to stick with her no matter what, why don't you just quit now?", that I could think of. After all, what if she reads this?

I dunno, i suppose im just venting. Preparing myself for the worst.

My feelings for her have not dimmed at all.

At the end of the day, we had only been going out two weeks (and dont get me wrong, i wish more than anything in the world that i could go back to that, honestly) but ive known her longer as a mate.

Spudly

22-01-09, 06:36 PM

Tbh bud i can understand youreslf preparing for the worst which yes i suppose is something you should do but in all honesty i would try not to be thinking like that as if youre loosing hope she will recover/wake up she will pick up on your fear and tension and might even start feeling the same and start giving up.

Come on bud i imagine youve been through some horrible months recently and cant even begin to imagine how i would be feeling in your situation but i know i wouldnt cope with it as well as you have been doing so youre definately a better man than i am bud and i sincerely mean that aswell!

Please hang in there man she will come back to you but i imagine she cant/wont feel as she wants to if youre not there staying strong for her.

Still thinking of you both man, you can do it after coming through so much and still being here, stay positive dude:thumb:

Welsh Dan

22-01-09, 06:37 PM

I do see where you're coming from, but unfortunately my mind tends to work in a very black and white manner.

Keep your chin up :).

Stanley

22-01-09, 06:39 PM

Cheers folks.

Ive booked a week off work from the 1st Feb so i can do NOTHING and rest.

The past 19 weeks have been pretty full on and i can feel myself getting un down and ill.

Spudly

22-01-09, 06:43 PM

Stanley

22-01-09, 06:46 PM

Thats all it will be tbh mate youve spent sooo long just "functioning" i.e. getting up, going to work, going to see rach, going to bed, getting up......

You need a break, im not saying dont bother with her for a week but try and spend a bit of time with your mates just pissing about and having a laugh, see if any of your close mates can get a day or three off at the same time aswell and just relax and enjoy and you should feel a world better bud!

I might do some work on the car actually. Itl be nice not to have any plans.

Getting up in the mornings is getting harder by the day. Work colleagues have been commenting lately that i look like ****e too.

phazer

22-01-09, 06:49 PM

Cheers folks.

Ive booked a week off work from the 1st Feb so i can do NOTHING and rest.

The past 19 weeks have been pretty full on and i can feel myself getting un down and ill.

Sounds like a plan.

Woah on the thinking the worst thing though - I understand where you're coming from but you don't know what the 'end game' will be, so you can but hope..

"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty."

cabriolet

24-01-09, 06:07 PM

as above fella we all rooting for u both tomorrow is another day

Tim-SR

24-01-09, 10:07 PM

alright mate, i just cant believe how good you are coping with all this. honestly, if i was you i know i wouldnt be able to go to work every day knowing that she was like this, it would make it very hard.

but your doing ace mate and everyone on here is thinking of you both:D

good luck with everything mate:thumb:

ash anderson

05-02-09, 01:05 AM

Any updates mate,

Just on here and thought id spare amoment too see how rach is-ive just squinted throught the rest of the thread to see what the updates were, stick in there and keep your chin up mate done so so well

Mygirlfreind comments "your an absolute hero and as much as she hates novas she will pester me day by day for an update" stick in there mate both thinking about you

Welshy

05-02-09, 03:16 PM

hope u and your missus all the best mate... no1 deserves anything like this

Curtoise

05-02-09, 09:53 PM

hi mate, i am very very sorry to read about this, hope she gets better soon and stay strong mate

Stanley

08-02-09, 05:25 PM

'scuse the late reply. Not been home for a few days.

Rachaels story was printed in the local paper the other day, where they quoted that she has awaken from her coma.

Now as i go to the hospital, do my thing, then leave and not really ask any questions, i kinda miss out on what the doctors are saying. So i suppose she is effectively not in a Coma, but in my opinion she still is. Granted, she reacts to voices and now her eyes follow movement, but she is still blank and doesnt recognise anyone or anything. I guess it a grey area in between being in a coma and not.

Ive been off work all this week and im going back tomorrow, and ive also layed off going up to the hospital to have a kind of break from it, in the hope that i will actually notice more of a change in her. WHich would be very nice!

Thanks again folks.

mowgli

08-02-09, 05:28 PM

you have a strength of character that we can all look up to..

Sloth

08-02-09, 06:01 PM

stan,
your a hero mate. you give me soooo much inspiration bud its unreal! stay kool,

rob

bmw156

08-02-09, 06:07 PM

nice one stan, i hope she does wake up properly and you get what you have been waiting for.

what you deserve :)

021-bennettt

08-02-09, 06:34 PM

As you said she doesnt recognise anyone or anything . . . you could have just not went to see her or do all the things you have sacrifised for her and she wouldn't have known,but you have been there evreyday and all the things your doing for her and she doesnt even know.What i'm getting at is that you are f**king amazing for being so strong,and for just loving her so much that you have changed your life for her!

I wish there was more like you around man.

cabriolet

22-02-09, 09:19 PM

yo stan any news on rach keep yr end up fella

Simon 1867

22-02-09, 09:28 PM

Hang in there fella. take the small positves from it, she has her eyes open. She will be amazed when she wakes up properly and you tell her about all the love and support you have from us on here.

Stay strong but take sometime for yourself...

Thinking of you both

Stanley

09-03-09, 05:49 PM

Hello folks.

Sorry for the lack of updates, as there hasnt really been any developements.

Rach is still doing ok, but no real progress. Been a bit ill but thats cleared and shes back on her feed as normal.

I suppose the only real news/info/whatever, as that i am taking things from a friends point of view. I have known her as a friend since 1st year at school, and i feel that that is the way things are going to have to be, as it is looking more and more likely that she will be quite severely brain damaged.

Its was a VERY hard decision to make, and one that still niggles away at me constantly, as usually when 'splitting up' with someone, you can both sit and talk about it, and work out a way to make it as painless as possible or whatever, but that is simply not possible. I basically felt i had to take my own life into consideration. I have told Rachael all this, as i feel that had to be the only way. I still go and see her, and still phone up every day to see how she is, but i am continuing my relationship with her as a very close friend.

Any one who doesnt understand/appreciate how hard it was/still is for me to make that choice can take a run and jump personally.

Thats the only real info i have im afraid.

Jim Mcrae

09-03-09, 05:57 PM

As long as your there for her buddy, I'm sure she appreciates it. Must be a complete nightmare, all my best to you both.

Sloth

09-03-09, 06:16 PM

mate, its understandable, still keeps us informed yeah? and who knows....

Dod

09-03-09, 07:10 PM

Rep added mate. Well done.

stupot89

21-03-09, 10:02 PM

any news mate??

gunny

22-03-09, 01:25 AM

Just read through mate, very sorry to hear this and also very inspired and touched. You are a modern day hero, what you have done to stay by her and be there, your a legend! I dont know how i would cope with a sitiuation like this, being the around the same age as you i can only imagine the effect it has had on your life and i feel for you both.

Rep from me mate you deserve it, keep your chin up :thumb:

Jeff16v

22-03-09, 08:35 AM

Tis a shame for everyone involved. I don't think anybody can fault you for making a very tough decision. Whatever happens to her you will always have your memories and even though the damage sounds bad i'm sure she has all her memories still with her too.

Best of luck to you and her, you never know what medicine can acheive given enough time, she may never be the same but life is measured in lots of different ways.

napalm_27

22-03-09, 09:17 AM

i think its amazing how you have stuck by her so long with out knowing what the turn out is going to be.
i do believe you are the only one that can decide what you think is the best thing to do you cant take what others say when its your life and you have to live with what is going on in it
i think every one should respect what you have been through and respect your decision.
but i feel for you mate and i hope for the best for both of you.

philip

22-03-09, 11:06 AM

only read a few parts, but very sory to hear whats happened.

agree with what you've said to her, and id imagine she would understand why maybe?

i had a treacheostomy(spl) xmas day 8mnth old, spent 5months in hospital, dont remember it, but then spent weeks in intensive care wen i was 6 with throat again after watching self pass out in mirror! so i can relate to what you put in first post.

but fingers crossed things will get better or atleast the best they can for you all.:thumb:

Welshy

22-03-09, 02:27 PM

hang in there mate,

Stanley

06-04-09, 09:42 PM

Well, its been nearly seven months since Rachaels accident and to be honest, things havent really turned out for the best.

Basically, although she is now out of her coma, she is still VERY unresponsive. Still drip fed, still very static and cant move, talk etc etc. Basically she seems to be very severely brain damaged.

Ive had to make the decision to end our relationship, but im still there for her as a friend. A very very hard choice to make, believe me.

Also, I recieved a citation through from the procurator fiscal, where i will have to appear in court as a witness. (although i wasnt actually there, i had spent the previous night and preceeding morning/afternoon with her), which im not looking forward to. The case is against the van driver.

Its her 22nd birthday on Friday, and its going to be a very hard day indeed.

Just to fill you all in.