A take on Big Brother, take a look:
http://internettrash.com/users/jokeforge/bigbruv.html
(not sure if this has been posted before? )
Big Brother!
A take on Big Brother, take a look:
http://internettrash.com/users/jokeforge/bigbruv.html
(not sure if this has been posted before? )
seen it - mildly amusing - especially when you use bizarre items and weird names
:D
Day 1 - wisewood admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Linz. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Cara is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Dan later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Kev creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Tilly hits him with a Wooden Spoon.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Blackpool Tower out of Fried Eggs. After much persuasion by Kev, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Blackpool Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Dan, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the Fried Eggs. Tilly is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Blackpool Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Dan farts and blows Blackpool Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Linz cries.
6 - Kev gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Linz admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a Wooden Spoon. wisewood says he never wears condoms because they make his Right Testicle sore and Kev agrees. Cara goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Dan sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Kev.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. wisewood goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Tilly and Linz are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for wisewood.
9 - Tilly and Linz are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Cara sings them a song - Firestarter by Prodigy - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Linz out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Linz leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Linz's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Cara has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Tilly is visibly depressed and is comforted by Kev, who tries to touch her on her Left Nipple.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Kev touching Tilly's Left Nipple over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Dan refuses to run because his Right Testicle hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Dan finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Tilly calls Dan a lazy Right Testicle.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. wisewood tells everyone individually that he thinks Tilly is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Tilly and Kev are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for wisewood.
16 - The nominations are announced. Tilly can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Kev is equally stunned and turns to Tilly for comfort. Dan is distraught and confesses to Cara that he thinks he is in love with Kev. Cara says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Kev out of the house. Tilly says she is gutted and even gives Kev a clipping of hair from her Left Nipple to prove how much she cares. Dan is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Kev leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Tilly clipping the hair from her Left Nipple. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Venezuala in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Venezuala sounds like but Dan says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose wisewood as the one who must complete the task.
21 - wisewood successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Venezuala but also God Save The Queen, Firestarter by Prodigy and the theme tune to Casualty. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and wisewood tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Dan and Cara are nominated.
23 - Dan and Cara take their nominations well and sit down with wisewood and Tilly to discuss why they voted for them. wisewood keeps quiet but Tilly accuses Dan of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Right Testicle before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Cara out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. Cara leaves.
25 - wisewood becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of wisewood's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Moose dung using only a Wooden Spoon. wisewood is unsure but Dan is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Dan breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Moose incident from his childhood. Tilly tries to persuade him to stay but wisewood sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Dan decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Moose dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Tilly from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. wisewood asks Tilly to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly wisewood nominates Tilly to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Tilly.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Tilly graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that wisewood is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. wisewood takes his ?70,000 and runs away to Venezuala. Nobody, including Tilly, ever sees him again.
oh my god lmfao, when did you get the time to think of an write all that up?
I didnt, but i have done one once before > its on the computer at home. You go to the web address linked as above and give it the details it asks for and it gives you that with your own customisation in it.
Big Brother!
Day 1 - marc admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of amy. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, kerri is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although mark later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. rob creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. carla hits him with a clever.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of statue of liberty out of fresh cream. After much persuasion by rob, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the statue of liberty task is well under way. However havoc ensues when mark, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the fresh cream. carla is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the statue of liberty task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when mark farts and blows statue of liberty over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. amy cries.
6 - rob gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, amy admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a clever. marc says he never wears condoms because they make his penis sore and rob agrees. kerri goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. mark sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up rob.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. marc goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. carla and amy are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for marc.
9 - carla and amy are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. kerri sings them a song - unchained melody - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote amy out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. amy leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with amy's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. kerri has to make do without the cucumber she requested. carla is visibly depressed and is comforted by rob, who tries to touch her on her eyes.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of rob touching carla's eyes over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that mark refuses to run because his penis hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. mark finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. carla calls mark a lazy penis.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. marc tells everyone individually that he thinks carla is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. carla and rob are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for marc.
16 - The nominations are announced. carla can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. rob is equally stunned and turns to carla for comfort. mark is distraught and confesses to kerri that he thinks he is in love with rob. kerri says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote rob out of the house. carla says she is gutted and even gives rob a clipping of hair from her eyes to prove how much she cares. mark is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. rob leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of carla clipping the hair from her eyes. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of usa in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of usa sounds like but mark says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose marc as the one who must complete the task.
21 - marc successfully burps not only the National Anthem of usa but also God Save The Queen, unchained melody and the theme tune to eastenders. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and marc tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. mark and kerri are nominated.
23 - mark and kerri take their nominations well and sit down with marc and carla to discuss why they voted for them. marc keeps quiet but carla accuses mark of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred penis before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote kerri out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. kerri leaves.
25 - marc becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of marc's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of horse dung using only a clever. marc is unsure but mark is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, mark breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the horse incident from his childhood. carla tries to persuade him to stay but marc sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. mark decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the horse dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by carla from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. marc asks carla to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly marc nominates carla to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does carla.
30 - When the nomination is announced, carla graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that marc is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. marc takes his ?70,000 and runs away to usa. Nobody, including carla, ever sees him again
haha......., where u find that from?????
sorry, cant be arsed to read any of that :
lmfao > just like a month of big brother really mate. :
I aint even read it, i gave it my mate and she has read it and just told me the funny parts of it!!!!!!!!! :wink: :wink: :wink:
I had a go but got bored by about day 5
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