Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Rab, are sitting in the Farmers bar
drinking beer.
Tam turns to Rab and says, "Ye ken fit? I'm tired o'gan through life
athoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll go doon to the squeel and sign
up
fur some nicht classes."
Rab thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Tam goes
down to the school and meets the Lecturer, who signs him up for the four
basic classes: Maths, English, History, and Logic.
"Logic?" Tam says. "Fit's at?"
The Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?" "Aye"" Then
logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a Garden. Tam
replies, "At's true, I div hae a Gairden."
"I'm not done," the Lecturer says. "Because you have a Garden, I think
logically that you would have a house.""Aye, I dee huv a hoose.""And
because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."
"Ah div hae a family!"
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must
have a wife.""Man! Yer nae wrang!! I div hae a wife!!""And because you
have
a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual.""I am that! A
heterosexual. That's amazin'!!
You were able to find a' that oot, jist 'cos ah huv a strimmer."
Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturer's hand and leaves
to meet Rab at the pub. He tells Rab about
his classes, how he is signed up for Maths, English, History and Logic.
"Logic?" Rab says, "Fit's at?" Tam says, "I'll show ye. Dae you huv a
strimmer?"
"No."
"Well then, yer a poof!."
