its almost like if she is brain damaged that your racheal has been lost and you are now caring for a new racheal.
must be mega hard looking from your perspective
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its almost like if she is brain damaged that your racheal has been lost and you are now caring for a new racheal.
must be mega hard looking from your perspective
I do picture it from your perspective. I know I'd stick with my other half if it happened to her. What I said above was the most polite way of saying "If you're not going to stick with her no matter what, why don't you just quit now?", that I could think of. After all, what if she reads this?
Dont get me wrong, i wouldnt just write her off and move on. I couldnt do that. Id still be there as a very good mate and do anything i can to help. Ive known her for years, regardless of our 'relationship' together.Quote:
Originally Posted by bmw156
tbh dude i think you have done extreamly well to come this far, and still be seeing her so regularly as you are. im sure she is very happy that you are there. and im sure she would understand if you were the person who had had the accident. and im sure you will be there for her rain nor shine what ever happens.
keep at it
I dunno, i suppose im just venting. Preparing myself for the worst.Quote:
Originally Posted by Welsh Dan
My feelings for her have not dimmed at all.
At the end of the day, we had only been going out two weeks (and dont get me wrong, i wish more than anything in the world that i could go back to that, honestly) but ive known her longer as a mate.
Tbh bud i can understand youreslf preparing for the worst which yes i suppose is something you should do but in all honesty i would try not to be thinking like that as if youre loosing hope she will recover/wake up she will pick up on your fear and tension and might even start feeling the same and start giving up.
Come on bud i imagine youve been through some horrible months recently and cant even begin to imagine how i would be feeling in your situation but i know i wouldnt cope with it as well as you have been doing so youre definately a better man than i am bud and i sincerely mean that aswell!
Please hang in there man she will come back to you but i imagine she cant/wont feel as she wants to if youre not there staying strong for her.
Still thinking of you both man, you can do it after coming through so much and still being here, stay positive dude:thumb:
I do see where you're coming from, but unfortunately my mind tends to work in a very black and white manner.
Keep your chin up :).
Cheers folks.
Ive booked a week off work from the 1st Feb so i can do NOTHING and rest.
The past 19 weeks have been pretty full on and i can feel myself getting un down and ill.
Thats all it will be tbh mate youve spent sooo long just "functioning" i.e. getting up, going to work, going to see rach, going to bed, getting up......
You need a break, im not saying dont bother with her for a week but try and spend a bit of time with your mates just pissing about and having a laugh, see if any of your close mates can get a day or three off at the same time aswell and just relax and enjoy and you should feel a world better bud!
I might do some work on the car actually. Itl be nice not to have any plans.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spudly
Getting up in the mornings is getting harder by the day. Work colleagues have been commenting lately that i look like ****e too.
Sounds like a plan.Quote:
Originally Posted by stan_the_man2k4
Woah on the thinking the worst thing though - I understand where you're coming from but you don't know what the 'end game' will be, so you can but hope..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Voltaire
as above fella we all rooting for u both tomorrow is another day
alright mate, i just cant believe how good you are coping with all this. honestly, if i was you i know i wouldnt be able to go to work every day knowing that she was like this, it would make it very hard.
but your doing ace mate and everyone on here is thinking of you both:D
good luck with everything mate:thumb:
Any updates mate,
Just on here and thought id spare amoment too see how rach is-ive just squinted throught the rest of the thread to see what the updates were, stick in there and keep your chin up mate done so so well
Mygirlfreind comments "your an absolute hero and as much as she hates novas she will pester me day by day for an update" stick in there mate both thinking about you
hope u and your missus all the best mate... no1 deserves anything like this
hi mate, i am very very sorry to read about this, hope she gets better soon and stay strong mate
'scuse the late reply. Not been home for a few days.
Rachaels story was printed in the local paper the other day, where they quoted that she has awaken from her coma.
Now as i go to the hospital, do my thing, then leave and not really ask any questions, i kinda miss out on what the doctors are saying. So i suppose she is effectively not in a Coma, but in my opinion she still is. Granted, she reacts to voices and now her eyes follow movement, but she is still blank and doesnt recognise anyone or anything. I guess it a grey area in between being in a coma and not.
Ive been off work all this week and im going back tomorrow, and ive also layed off going up to the hospital to have a kind of break from it, in the hope that i will actually notice more of a change in her. WHich would be very nice!
Thanks again folks.
you have a strength of character that we can all look up to..
stan,
your a hero mate. you give me soooo much inspiration bud its unreal! stay kool,
rob
nice one stan, i hope she does wake up properly and you get what you have been waiting for.
what you deserve :)
As you said she doesnt recognise anyone or anything . . . you could have just not went to see her or do all the things you have sacrifised for her and she wouldn't have known,but you have been there evreyday and all the things your doing for her and she doesnt even know.What i'm getting at is that you are f**king amazing for being so strong,and for just loving her so much that you have changed your life for her!
I wish there was more like you around man.
yo stan any news on rach keep yr end up fella
Hang in there fella. take the small positves from it, she has her eyes open. She will be amazed when she wakes up properly and you tell her about all the love and support you have from us on here.
Stay strong but take sometime for yourself...
Thinking of you both
Hello folks.
Sorry for the lack of updates, as there hasnt really been any developements.
Rach is still doing ok, but no real progress. Been a bit ill but thats cleared and shes back on her feed as normal.
I suppose the only real news/info/whatever, as that i am taking things from a friends point of view. I have known her as a friend since 1st year at school, and i feel that that is the way things are going to have to be, as it is looking more and more likely that she will be quite severely brain damaged.
Its was a VERY hard decision to make, and one that still niggles away at me constantly, as usually when 'splitting up' with someone, you can both sit and talk about it, and work out a way to make it as painless as possible or whatever, but that is simply not possible. I basically felt i had to take my own life into consideration. I have told Rachael all this, as i feel that had to be the only way. I still go and see her, and still phone up every day to see how she is, but i am continuing my relationship with her as a very close friend.
Any one who doesnt understand/appreciate how hard it was/still is for me to make that choice can take a run and jump personally.
Thats the only real info i have im afraid.
As long as your there for her buddy, I'm sure she appreciates it. Must be a complete nightmare, all my best to you both.
mate, its understandable, still keeps us informed yeah? and who knows....
Rep added mate. Well done.
any news mate??
Just read through mate, very sorry to hear this and also very inspired and touched. You are a modern day hero, what you have done to stay by her and be there, your a legend! I dont know how i would cope with a sitiuation like this, being the around the same age as you i can only imagine the effect it has had on your life and i feel for you both.
Rep from me mate you deserve it, keep your chin up :thumb:
Tis a shame for everyone involved. I don't think anybody can fault you for making a very tough decision. Whatever happens to her you will always have your memories and even though the damage sounds bad i'm sure she has all her memories still with her too.
Best of luck to you and her, you never know what medicine can acheive given enough time, she may never be the same but life is measured in lots of different ways.
i think its amazing how you have stuck by her so long with out knowing what the turn out is going to be.
i do believe you are the only one that can decide what you think is the best thing to do you cant take what others say when its your life and you have to live with what is going on in it
i think every one should respect what you have been through and respect your decision.
but i feel for you mate and i hope for the best for both of you.
only read a few parts, but very sory to hear whats happened.
agree with what you've said to her, and id imagine she would understand why maybe?
i had a treacheostomy(spl) xmas day 8mnth old, spent 5months in hospital, dont remember it, but then spent weeks in intensive care wen i was 6 with throat again after watching self pass out in mirror! so i can relate to what you put in first post.
but fingers crossed things will get better or atleast the best they can for you all.:thumb:
hang in there mate,
Well, its been nearly seven months since Rachaels accident and to be honest, things havent really turned out for the best.
Basically, although she is now out of her coma, she is still VERY unresponsive. Still drip fed, still very static and cant move, talk etc etc. Basically she seems to be very severely brain damaged.
Ive had to make the decision to end our relationship, but im still there for her as a friend. A very very hard choice to make, believe me.
Also, I recieved a citation through from the procurator fiscal, where i will have to appear in court as a witness. (although i wasnt actually there, i had spent the previous night and preceeding morning/afternoon with her), which im not looking forward to. The case is against the van driver.
Its her 22nd birthday on Friday, and its going to be a very hard day indeed.
Just to fill you all in.
Just read this tread stan i am very sorry to hear what has happened to you keep your head up mate where all routing for you im sure.
Damen.:)
Also just read some of this thread, Respectable thing for you to do there mate, more than most people would do, Good things do happen so keep in there.
keep your chin up mate where all thinkin of you both
your one strong geezer
Stan you made the right decision. You cant live your life like that for ever. Your just as much in a coma as she is unfortunately. And to break away from that you have had to fight with yourself to do it, i admire your strenght dude. I really hope she makes some progress,i really do.
Stan you're a Saint. No one could even contemplate blaming you for your choice, fair play to you.