i dont take pills
only coke
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i dont take pills
only coke
Even then it can take them years to actually get into gear and test for it. Like I said previously my 19 year old brother has that and autism, he loves setting things on fire and just being a general idiot which is the same as my 13 year old brother acts now and they wont test him despite it "running" in the family. The pills my brother has to take for it are horrible as well, they've made him horribly anorexic as it affects his eating and when he forgets to take his pills he's worse then usual.Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Stig
I've read this in it's entirety with a view to replying and it's such a hard one to answer, let alone solve! Without knowing you or your son, or knowing the dynamic of your household I cannot offer any specific advice for you.
Strategies I would suggest are probably mentioned previously but I'll summarise my thoughts for you. Although I don't have any children yet, I'm an educational professional. I've worked in KS2, KS3 and KS4 with experience of Foundation stage and KS1 for the last 7 and a half years. I have managed a learning support unit and behavioural unit in a secondary school. I hope I'm not patronising you as you may already be doing these things!
My key factor in any argument is to diffuse the situation to enable a dialogue.
Keep your cool. Hard I know but you'll be less likely to shout and get angry. Take 10 seconds to stop, gather yourself and reply calmly - it'll feel a longer time than it is. Calm, level speech will knock the wind out of his sails after a while as he won't feel like his shouting is getting him anywhere.
Question him/his actions when he is wrong before you level any blame at his door. He won't give you answers straight away but you do it enough and he may come round to answer you and give you an inroad to opening a dialogue.
You are the adult and he is the child. Do not resort to tit for tat arguing, and keep only the cause of the argument in focus. If the argument does deviate. State clearly that this was not what he initially kicked off about. He can choose to go on either tangent but this will require him to consider what he is talking about and may help him to rationalise his argument.
Choice is a powerful tool - make him choose his behaviour as Kel stated.
Consistency is a must - agree with your partner what you both deem to be acceptable behaviour so you are both reading from the same page when sanctioning your lad.
Taking away consoles/TVs/internet access/mobiles is fine. Put them under lock and key - take them to a mates house do what you must to remove it for a specified time limit. If you say he'll have it back at a time (under certain behavioural conditions) then you have to uphold your end of the bargain. Don't give in early though. Take it away for too long though and you risk blow ups further down the line which may mean he never gets it back. Let him earn it back, it'll make him feel good.
Focus on the positive behaviour. Small, sustainable rewards for good behaviour are best rather than 'if you're good for a week you can have a PS3' sort of thing!
I'm not going to try and say anymore - see how you get on. If you want to PM me with any questions, feel free.
to many pages to read, but one thing to get him on the straight in narrow and teach him respect which very few sprogs have nowadays is get him to the local boxing club, he'll be taught respect,manners and most of the time if he's being a slight cnut at school or whatever this will be dealt with to, and its not by raising fists, the best part of your body for dealing with unruly kids is the bit between your nose and chin
i was just like this only reson is i was board .i had a computer and a massive tv and that to play it on i just dident have to abillity to sit for more than 5 minutes to play it before getting boared but when i started going to the gym i had a focus so i stuck at it kept me out the house and doing summit creative also i have a motor bike and air rifle i go out alot with witch keeps me out of trouble just have to respect the people i see when i am out some kids dont like being in doors and get really fed up may be this is the problem
thats just my 2 pence worth sorry about spelling and punctuation
i was just like this only reson is i was board .i had a computer and a massive tv and that to play it on i just dident have to abillity to sit for more than 5 minutes to play it before getting boared but when i started going to the gym i had a focus so i stuck at it kept me out the house and doing summit creative also i have a motor bike and air rifle i go out alot with witch keeps me out of trouble just have to respect the people i see when i am out some kids dont like being in doors and get really fed up may be this is the problem
thats just my 2 pence worth sorry about spelling and punctuation
Fair play.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky G
That's quite true.
The thing I hated when I was a kid was when my parents would tell me off for something or other, but not give me a reason WHY what I was doing was wrong. Always give reason, there's no argument with logical thinking.
He always knows exactly why he has been told off, grounded or lost priviledges.
Which is usually when his lying kicks in, his lies worry me and i think he could be quite dangerous if he wanted to be.
He says things that he imagines has happened, that we have done to him, quite scary really.
are you keeping a diary?? or tape recording his rants??
it would be fascinating to show to the grandparents, cos they are obviously undermining you at every opportunity.