re the complaints.... my brother loves dealing with them...
one bloke rang him in the office to complain bitterly about a vehicle being legally parked in a village whilst his workers were working next to it, so my bro listened until the bloke had finished, then called him a pompous ****er with fcuk all better to do.....i was drinking tea at the time & had to repaint a wall.
another time he was jackhammering out some concrete with a jcb in the local builders merchants yard at 9:00 on a saturday morning, and some bloke appeared at the end of his garden trying to make out that the vibrations had caused untold damage to all sorts of ornaments in his house, 50 yards away...my bro called him a few choice things, the bloke replied that he'd never been spoken to like that, and my bro said 'i doubt that' anyway, the bloke walked round to the builders merchants office, and started banging on at the manager, who called my bro into the office, and asked him what he had to say for himself, and he said 'i've already told the malingerer to fcuk off, i can't see why i should repeat it' and walked out..
if the govt ever advertised for a professional bollocker, i'd put him forward for it