View Full Version : Why did the feminist cross the road?
Stanley
17-11-07, 07:16 PM
To suck my big fat cock.
Hardy har.
Any more jokes folks?
paddy138
17-11-07, 07:31 PM
did you hear about the magic tractor?
it turned into a field lol lol
:tumble:
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
F*cked!
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
If you make olive oil out of olives.
vegetable oil out of vegetables.
What do you make baby oil out of?
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hear$e carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
TAX
Can you cry under water?
yes
Can you cry under water?
yes
You can puke underwater as well. I've seen it done at 15mtrs. The fish love it:thumb:
thats messed up really messed up.
Welsh Dan
17-11-07, 11:30 PM
How many male chauvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
Ricky G
18-11-07, 12:00 AM
why did you just sing them tunes above???
you got me there. like a **** i just sat singing both and im getting funny looks rom the missus now!lol
Welsh Dan
18-11-07, 12:12 AM
why did you just sing them tunes above???
you got me there. like a **** i just sat singing both and im getting funny looks rom the missus now!lol
what? :confused:
NovaLad
18-11-07, 12:55 AM
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead. (*_*)
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
lollollol
NovaLad
18-11-07, 01:19 AM
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0fw3l1z9CUQ
Try it.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
She just did! ok! & Its not funny you chauvinistic b4stard!
did you know that hot water is the only liquid that won't freeze?
Tampax are bringing out a tampon where instead of a string, it has tinsel.
For the christmas period only.
paulnova
19-11-07, 10:58 PM
lol lol
loggyboy
20-11-07, 01:42 AM
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
No
Sex and a blow job at the same time.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Conversion rate, $1 = 50p so 2c = 1p :p
i know i know
There i was on my way to a meeting in brighton when i really really need the toilet. At the time i just passing through whitehawk and saw some grotty public loo's. Given my bladder problem (see WIP for further details) i pulled the over and stroled on in. I was greated by three urineals (spl) and a rather shady looking dude shaking, standing at the 2nd urineal. As i got closer i could see that this chap had no arms!!
I was quite near to bursting now so i took a breath and pulled up a pue next to the armless man. I got underway with you know what when i hear this "ear, ear mate" "couldn't lend us a hand could ya" I was about mid flow at this point and given my situation and the shadyness of this particular character decide i better humor him by replying. "certainly, how can i help" The man was now shaking more violently and asked me to un zip his fly. I reach over with one of my hands, found his fly and carefullt pulled it down. The chap let off a sign off relief and told me that he had been waiting the for almost 2 hours! Feeling sorry for him and decided that i would help the chap as best i could, i asked him if there was anything else i could do for him. He said that there was and asked me to extract his doo dar from his boxers. I was slightly taken back by this but reahed inside, found a "ding a ling" and pulled him out. I took a quick glance at my new friends old boy and nearly die!!! It was the most disgusting, human organ i had ever seen. Slightly green tinted in colour (think GTE style windows) with tuffs our hair and an odor i won't ever forgot. Whats more was that it was slightly deformed and now my new friend started to wee!!!! I looked away and waited till he finnished, shaked off his ding dang and slid it back into hiding. I took a breath and feeling like we knew each other reasonably well now enquired into the health of my new friend. "I asked him wtf was up with his willy"!?!?
Very carmly and slowly the man pulled his arms out from inside his jacket and smiled as he said " Funked if i know but, i ain't touchin it"!!!!
Bastid
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