View Full Version : jcb and girafe
carls nova sri
14-09-07, 10:09 PM
whats a jcb and a girafe got in common
ones got hydrolics and the others got high bolloks
http://www.scienceyear.com/text_only/sciteach/jokes/images/08OldJoke.jpg
http://dcfud.smorgasblog.com/uerimages/cartoon-walkbar280.gif
nathan.
15-09-07, 06:42 PM
http://salamandernews.files.wordpress.com/2006/07/tumbleweed.jpg
carls nova sri
15-09-07, 07:43 PM
alrite so maybe i was board
whats a jcb and a girafe got in common
ones got hydrolics and the others got high bolloks
Problems with the above comment.
1. the joke should start with 'What's the difference between a JCB & a Giraffe?'
2. it should finish with ' Well, one has hydraulics.............'
The funniest part of a joke is the part that is not actually said. It lets the recipient work it out & then laugh whilst thinking 'How clever am I for working it out.'
A classic example of the genre is:-
What's the difference between a dachshund & a market trader?
Well, one balls out his wares on the street......
I hope you find this of some use
A classic example of the genre is:-
What's the difference between a dachshund & a market trader?
Well, one balls out his wares on the street......
I hope you find this of some use
And one streets out his balls on his ware?????
Shaun_O'Donnell
15-09-07, 09:28 PM
And one streets out his balls on his ware?????
Funniest part of this thread!!
LUV2XLR8
17-09-07, 11:13 AM
best thread ever
My life is now complete knowing how a joke should be constructed. The only problem is that the joke in the initial post was so bad I would never have worked it out.
carls nova sri
18-09-07, 11:19 AM
o.k lets just forget it then and stop bringing it up everyone makes mistakeslol
What do you call a queer dinasour? (and the answer is not Stu's boyfriend)
Mega-sore-ass!
Oh yeah baby, now thats a joke:D
Yes I am bored at the mo
What do you call a queer dinoaur with a dog then?
... A Mega-sore-ass-rex!
scott.parker
18-09-07, 03:59 PM
What do you call a scotish dinosaur with one eye?
(scotch accent needed)
Didnee -thinkie-saw-us
woohoo! now this thread is coming ALIVE!!
What do you call a dinosaur with no head.?
A Neckosaurus
What do you get when two dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
scott.parker
18-09-07, 04:10 PM
What do you get when two dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
:roll:
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a ten gallon hat?
Tyrannosaurus Tex
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork!
How do Dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus Cheques.
How can you tell if a dinosaur is a vegetarian?
Lie down on a plate.
lol
How does the Dinosaur read the morning papers?
With his Tyrannosaurus Specs
hehe
What do you call a cowboy dinosaur?
Tyrannosaurus Tex!
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a ten gallon hat?
Tyrannosaurus Tex
Reeeeeepost :thumb:
Same punch line different joke:p
What do you call a stupid dinosaur
A Jerkasarus
What do you get if you cross an extension lead with a Dinosaur?
Tyrannosaurus Flex
smcgsi16v
18-09-07, 06:27 PM
What do you call an anxious dinosaur?
A nervous rex!
ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why didn't the dinosaur finish its breakfast?
Cos its eggs stinked.
nathan.
18-09-07, 09:12 PM
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur???
Lick--alot--o--puss
Saloony
18-09-07, 10:14 PM
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur???
Lick--alot--o--puss
Git i was just going to write that one. Its a classic.
This thread is sweet keep it goinglol
nathan.
18-09-07, 10:36 PM
What do you call a dinosaur with no head.?
A Neckosaurus
What do dinosaurs use to cut down trees?
Dinosaws
I'll get my coat
how can you tell if theres a Dinosaur in bed with you?
Theres a D on his pyjamas
nathan.
18-09-07, 10:59 PM
Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?
Because their eggs stink.
Get it??
vallanc3
19-09-07, 04:14 PM
what do you call a dear with no eyes?
no idea, what do you call a deer with no eyes?
NovaLad
19-09-07, 04:23 PM
Blind? lol
vallanc3
19-09-07, 04:31 PM
fcuked!
actually: no-eye-dear
vallanc3
19-09-07, 04:34 PM
what do you can a woman beween two goal posts?
annet
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea
vallanc3
19-09-07, 05:32 PM
classics are always the best
i'm a jcb
.................killed it lol
i'm a jcb
Do you have high bollocks?
What do you call a bloke with a shovel sticking in his head?
Doug
What do you call a bloke without a shovel sticking in his head?
Douglas
yea, in my throat... when i cough, i come.
yea, in my throat... when i cough, i come.
I think you call that fellatio.........
carls nova sri
20-09-07, 10:52 AM
whats black and white and red all over
a newspaper
Horse walks into a bar. Barman says "Why the long face?"
Go on. You KNOW its funny.
Saloony
20-09-07, 10:57 AM
whats black and white and red all over
A penguin in a blender
carls nova sri
20-09-07, 11:29 AM
A penguin in a blender
no a newspaper read all over get it
Saloony
20-09-07, 02:00 PM
no a newspaper read all over get it
Yes dear, but there is another punch that can be had.:roll:
scott.parker
20-09-07, 02:16 PM
Whats brown and sticky
Poo Bear?
Whats big, green and cant fly?
A Field
Shakespear walks into a pub, the landlord looks him up and down and says
"sorry mate youre Bard"
Saloony
20-09-07, 02:50 PM
Pavarotti wont be cremated for his funeral, he will be microwaved...
Its not over till the fat man 'Pings'.
Pavarotti wont be cremated for his funeral, he will be microwaved...
Its not over till the fat man 'Pings'.
Did you know that Italian Funeral Directors are offering funerals for a tenner?
Did you know that Italian Funeral Directors are offering funerals for a tenner?
lol, genius
I paid ?100 for 8 legs of Vennison. Do you think that was too dear?
Whats brown and sticky
A stick???
CoolTiger
22-09-07, 01:39 PM
what do you call a guy with a seagul on his head ?
Cliff
what do you call a guy with a car on his head ?
Jack
you know thier funny dont denie it :P
A stick???
No, poo. Sticks aren't sticky unless they have poo or suchlike on them.
poo sticks, but you have to throw it very hard.....
An Eskimo was fishing, & someone crept up behind him & kicked him in his icehole.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a bananna
I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob - So that's the only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to wheel your Nob to the car cuz it's too heavy.
Oh BT, Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...
Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...
There once was a midget named Dar,
Who met a cheap whore in a bar.
She was ugly as sh1t, and missing a tit,
and where there once was a cock, theres a scar!!
There once was a tall lad called Lee
Who everyone thought was a he
He tryed to flop out his willy
which was a little bit silly
because now we all know he is a she
There was a round lad called Stu
Who was strangely attracted to Poo
There was a turd on the floor
I shouldn't post any more
But Stu had a chew on the Poo
There once was a beefcake called dan
Who was always a hungry young man
His tapeworm said Food
Dan was in the mood
Then he just ate the whole burger van
A gay man who came from Rangoon,
Took a lesbian up to his room,
They argued a lot,
As to who would do what,
And with what & how much & to whom....
There was a young lady called Harris,
That nothing could ever embarrass;
Till the bath-salts one day
In the tub where she lay
Turned out to be plaster of Paris.
There was an old lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In half and hour her tits were a flower
and her fanny was covered in weeds!!
No, poo. Sticks aren't sticky unless they have poo or suchlike on them.
Or sticky as in structure:p (thought of another answer but I REALLY shouldn't post it
Won one was a race horse
Tu-tu was one too
Tu-tu won a race one day
Won one won one too
old mother hubard
went to her cupboard
to give her poor dog a bone.
but when she bent over
rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own!
There once was a whore from berlin,
Who had an enormous great quim,
it wasn't the size,
that attracted the flies,
but the jelly that hung from the rim.
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
There was a young man from Rangoon
who was born a fortnight too soon
coz he hadn't the luck
to be born of a fcuk
but a w@nk shovelled in with a spoon
There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
Im a little mouse called kieth
I circumcise men with my teeth
its not for the leisure, or the sexual pleasure
its for the cheese i find in the crease!
There once was a woman named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick as a phallus.
They found her vagina
Up in North Carolina,
And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas.
There was an old man from Belgrave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
He said "How disgusting,
But it only needs dusting,
And think of the money I'll save
I bet the good townspeople of Limerick are forming an angry mob right now!
There was a young man from kent,whose tool was exceedingly bent,to save himself trouble ,he stuffed it in double,and instead of coming ,he went!
Ryan5cyl
25-09-07, 10:47 PM
Whats green, has six legs, and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you would kill you?
A snooker table :tard:
two rats are in a sewer.
Rat #1. says 'I hate sh1t, I step in sh1t, I sleep in sh1t, I eat sh1t, I've had enough!'
Rat #2 replies ' You need cheering up mate, tell you what, tonight lets go out on the p1ss!!!!@
coombsey
27-09-07, 10:14 PM
whats orange and looks good on a chav
fire
whats orange and looks good on a chav
fire
lol lol lol
What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
A quarter pounder with cheese!
Novadex
27-09-07, 11:29 PM
Why`s there no tablets in the jungle?
Because the parrots-eat-em-all
Two nuns are driving along in a car when a vampire lands on their bonnet. The first nun shouts to the second nun, "Quick, show it your cross!". So the second nun leans out the window and shouts, "Get of my f**king car!".
carls nova sri
28-09-07, 01:00 PM
hows the best way to catch a squirel
climb up a tree and act like a nut
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