What would you do?

[wisewood]

OK, you're seeing someone... you're crazy about them, see them most days of the week etc.

All of a sudden, or so it seems, the person you're with has a new friend of the opposite sex (to them, obviously, same sex as you).

They email and text regularly, sometimes seeming to be a little over-friendly. You don't want to tell the other half who they can and can't be friends with, so you make a subtle comment about it one night while you drunk. "ooohh yeah, who is this [name of person] who keeps texting you, flirting?!".

To me - this screams insecurity. The guy is clearly not happy with the situation but doesn't want to kick up a fuss.

What do you do?

a) Leave it - let them be friends, even though it bothers you on some level
2) Tell the other half not to be friends with this person as you're not happy
3) Contact the person directly
iv) Expect the person to contact you and "ask permission" to be friends
e) Other... insert your own answer lol

All hypothetical... obviously :thumb: any similarity to real life events is purely accidental.

[bump]

Depends on many factors, what is it that's bothering hypothetical man so much?

I say lump it, does hypothetical other half grumble about hypothetical friends?

I say insecurity too.

[puss puss]

e) Other... insert your own answer

i would try talking to the other half about how you feel about her txting this guy. but also say that you completely trust her. If she snaps are him then ask the question how would she feel if he started to talk another girl.

Also tell the guy its ok you can txt her how ever he feels it isnt right and if it goes any futher he will break his legs.

thats wot i would do anyway :)

[Kinky Monza]

From a female point of view, i wouldn't be fussed, some females do get insecure and say their guy can't see xxx or whatever,

From a guys point of view, it's probably just harmless fun, and the only person with a game plan is the other female imho

[Stuart]

e) munk in her eyes

[novabex]

One of my mates birds rang me the other day and told me to stop texting her. I replied... who the **** are you to tell me who I can and cant speak to.

Silly bitch. Insecurity and clingyness are so unattractive.

I dont get jealous.

[Kinky Monza]

e) munk in her eyes


WTF???? :eek:

[Dar]

Difficult one. But since many many years ago I was in a similar situation I would probably do the same i.e. Ignore it and get as much sex as possible before they bugger off with the other person. Once they have stay as friendly as possible so that you can chat about the other person after its all gone horribly wrong. You can then be that shoulder to cry on and go for more sex :D

Worked for me although don't go back, its not the same. Go looking for a new field to plough.

[wisewood]

lollollol @ Stu.
Just wanted to see what people would do in the boyfriends' situation.

I'm friends with this girl - I'm married, she's seeing someone, nothing is going to happen etc. It's a strictly just friends situation.

Her fella said as above to her on friday night while he was drunk, and she replied with her most innocent face "ooohhh why do you not want me talking to him?" for him to reply with "nahhh i'm kidding, I trust you really" and then proceeded to get all mushy and tell her how much he loved her etc.

Totally smacks of insecurity to me. Trusting her is one thing, but he doesn't know me at all.

I 100% understand his view of the situation, I'd be a tad jealous myself if it were my other half, but there really is nothing in it for him to worry about.

The only reason it has "suddenly" surfaced in front of him is becuase we were working together until recently - so would chat at work - and since she left we exchanged numbers to keep in touch.

F*ck it. I'll be meeting him in a few weeks at a party for my boss' 60th. If he wants a fight he can have one lol If he says anything I will accuse him of moving in on my turf as i have known her longer lol lol

[Kinky Monza]

Andrew! that's disgraceful lol

Just don't get too involved, and cause any trouble!

[wisewood]

i've told her today after she mentioned this that all she has to do is say so and i will back as far off as she wants. she just keeps saying "no its ok we're cool" etc.

You know how these things are - you first get someones number and you text etc all the time, then it sorta fizzles out to happy birthday and merry christmas, then nothing. Probably go the same way lol.

[craig green]

If there is an insecurity issue, it needs addressing IMO. No one will be happy if its brushed under the carpet.

[wisewood]

That's what i think too. I've thought about emailing him myself (i have his email from a forwarded joke she sent to a few people).

Just say "alreeeeeet man i swear i've not touched your lass and not coz she int fit coz she is innit but i just avent and i wont be doin it eeether so chill"

[Dar]

lol
I light of recent developments....Its his problem let the silly bugger deal with it.

[wisewood]

This is also something i have considered.

But, then again - if it's his problem, its also her problem, which then leads right back to it being my problem again.

I think it would help if she text me when he was there, but she doesnt. Can always tell when he's round as she doesn't reply to a message until about 10:05pm when he's gone home lol

[Stuart]

e) glue her eyes shut :D

[wisewood]

not sure this is strictly inkeeping with my policy of "nothing will happen" Stu.

[Alex.]

I'm guessing he knows that you're married right?

[Kinky Monza]

As i said in my first reply, it's always the other female that has a game plan, trust me!

If he's getting insecure about her texting you then she's obviously given him reason to doubt her loyalty in the past!

[Stuart]

mandy your such a spoil sport lol

[J4MES]

sounds like she might fancy you a little bit.....

[Kinky Monza]

You have a fetish for gluing (sp) eyes shut Stu??? lol

[Alex.]

sounds like she might fancy you a little bit.....

Why cuz she's texting him :roll:
From the sounds of her response to him when he asked, it sounds like she's winding him up...which if he is insecure (undoubtably) then it won't help! lol

[Stuart]

ill glue yours shut (with epoxy) if your not careful :p

[Kinky Monza]

ill glue yours shut (with epoxy) if your not careful :p


If i'm not careful??? :p


You aint fast enough lol

[wisewood]

I would imagine he knows that I am married, yes... though I don't know 100% that she has told him this. Probably would have done though.

They've been together about 5 or 6 months, and she's not the cheating sort - so it's highly unlikely he's been given any reason to suspect she would do anything wrong.

I really don't think she "fancies me" ... might do, but I don't think so. We've had a conversation that established that we "probably would" if not for circumstances, but I'm certainly not her usual type I don't think. However, we do share the same taste in music, clothes (mostly), have the same sense of humour etc.

I know full well, the most threatening thing in the world isn't someone your other half thinks is fit, its someone they think is funny, and can chat randomly with for ages.

Obviously it's difficult to get the jist of the conversation they had seeing it written down. She never even mentioned it to me - i heard from someone else i know that he had been teasing her about me, so i just confronted her and said "Has he said something to you about me? if so what, when, why and how?" lol

[wisewood]

If i'm not careful??? :p
You aint fast enough lol

Stu would be done and dusted, eyes glued shut and Stu junior put away quicker than you could blink lollol

[J4MES]

Why cuz she's texting him :roll:

no, obviously!!:roll: But its slightly suspicious that she doesnt text Wisewood when with her lad!!:wtf:

also the fact that she seems happy to let jealousy take root by joking about it to her rather obviously insecure man, rather than getting it out in the open....

then again if she doesnt 'seem' the type it could just be me being a cynical man!!lol

[Alex.]

But its slightly suspicious that she doesnt text Wisewood when with her lad!!:wtf:

Maybe it's cuz she knows he'll get funny. But then I've always gone with the theory of if you've nothing to hide, then why hide it.

[wisewood]

I'm firmly in the "dont rock the boat if you dont have to camp" and will usually not bother talking about stuff that i know might bother the other half.

However, i have made her aware that i am still in contact with this girl from work after her leaving, so at least there is no "you never told me this" conversations further down the road.

It's likely that she doesn't text me when he is there because she doesnt want to rub his nose in it, or she puts her phone to one side and doesnt text anyone, probably.

Whatever, anyway, she started it. I said "here's my number, gimme a call if ever you want someone to talk to or anything"... and then she text me saying that "That serbian dyke on eurovision looks the spit of her from work" lol

[draper]

let them get on with it, you cant stop something happening, if there gonna sleep together there gonna sleep together and you keep worrying about will eat you up and send you over the edge

edit - upon reading the full tread my response is "**** him, hes obv a ****" lol

[draper]

we do share the same taste in clothes




just tell him shes helping you crossdress :p

[wisewood]

lmfao @ not reading the full thread.

and also... i do really like her "size zero not my hero" tshirt lol

[Mike]

just tell him shes helping you crossdress :p

Sounds like a plan that! Just read the whol thread and as already stated, if it going to happen, it will.

[Kinky Monza]

No that's Bollox lads! all the crap about if it's going to happen it will, if 2 people want to ruin their lives, and the lives of their partners then that's their call, but FFS it's typical of a guy (no offence wise!) to get chatting innocently to a bird, then exchange numbers ect, start texting and all that **** only for the bloke to say nothing will happen! i've seen this before, sex doesn't happen if both people don't want it!


Wise, you need your eyes opening, if this lass doesn't text you when he's around then plain and simple she wants to **** you, end of! it's upto you to be smart enough not to let it happen!

[draper]

nah, i have friends who are girls that text me and dont want to sleep with me, i know - ive tried it on with them ;)

[Mike]

nah, i have friends who are girls that text me and dont want to sleep with me, i know - ive tried it on with them ;)

same here lol lol some more sucessful then others, but that storys for another day :thumb: :p

[Kinky Monza]

But you even put the phone down when your mrs walks in lol

[Mike]

But you even put the phone down when your mrs walks in lol

Id didnt have a misus till recently, so that was never a problem lmao lol

[draper]

But you even put the phone down when your mrs walks in lol

:D

lol

[Kinky Monza]

You may laugh Draper, but what you texted after was the best bit lol

[draper]

:confused:

[Kinky Monza]

MSN lol

[draper]

gotta love stella lol

[Lee]

From reading this thread, I get the impression both of you want it, but due to sobriety, your not going to.

Trust me, if you both in the same room when your drunk, then ill bet you a tenner the beef bus gets parked in tuna town!

[wisewood]

lmfao. the issue here has been totally confused.

Its not a question of who wants to do what to who and when, where and how often.

Nothing will happen between us. End of. Doesnt matter if she wants to. i wont. Wouldnt matter if i did. She wont.

The issue, if it is one at all, is with her other half being jealous of an innocent friendship. You lot are just making more of it than there is lol

[NovaLad]

if you both in the same room when your drunk, then ill bet you a tenner the beef bus gets parked in tuna town!

New Sig lol

[Dan 130]

sex doesn't happen if both people don't want it!

lol what if only one person wants it to happen,

[wisewood]

see... nobody listens lol there is no sex.

[Mike]

mmmmmmm, somewhere back in this thread you meantioned a good old fashioned game of fisti-cuffs? Feck it, settle it that way lol lol

If its just freindship, then neither you, him, her or your missus etc have naff all to worry to about so in theory youve got no reason to lose any sleep over it

[Kinky Monza]

Too many male hormones me thinks lol

[draper]

If its just freindship, then neither you, him, her or your missus etc have naff all to worry to about so in theory youve got no reason to lose any sleep over it

there is no theory where women are involved :tard:

[Mike]

there is no theory where women are involved :tard:

Draper speaks the truth lol

[J4MES]

Wise, you need your eyes opening, if this lass doesn't text you when he's around then plain and simple she wants to **** you, end of! it's upto you to be smart enough not to let it happen!

Thank you, my point exactly!!!:thumb:

As for her man just let him get on with being jealous, if he takes the problem further, i.e. gives you some grief, - then just end him!!!lol

[wisewood]

nah. You're wrong. Simple as that.

More likely is that she just doesn't look at her phone when he is around. Not been together more than 6 months, still interested in each other lol

[J4MES]

nah. You're wrong. Simple as that.

Fair enough!! Still if the guy gives you some grief pow him!!:cool:

[draper]

Fair enough!! Still if the guy gives you some grief pow him!!:cool:

HOLY SCHMOKES


http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g161/draper01/batman_pow_1.jpg

[wisewood]

I don't mind if he wants to let himself feel better by "warning me off" to be honest - that alone would take quite a lot of emotion and guts. However, anything more than that, and I wont be held responsible for my ripping his head off lol

[J4MES]

HOLY SCHMOKES


http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g161/draper01/batman_pow_1.jpg

Its nice!!!!

[Stuart]

Been in the same sort of "situation" with a girly mate at uni. Id turn up late to the pub where they all were, she'd come over and we'd hug and all that shizzle. And the bloke she was with would look at me as if he wanted to murder me lol. Then her mates (who i really wanted to get into) would tell him its fine, and he would settle down once i started to tyr my luck with the other birds lol.

There were times id liked to have done some horizontal jogging with her, but didnt act on it as i know my style with ex's/past shags is to not speak to them ever again lol

[draper]

my style with ex's/past shags is to not speak to them ever again lol

mines to ring them when im drunk and try my luck again :D

[Mike]

mines to ring them when im drunk and try my luck again :D

lol when are you not drunk Draper lol

[draper]

lol when are you not drunk Draper lol

now :p

[wisewood]

There were times id liked to have done some horizontal jogging with her, but didnt act on it as i know my style with ex's/past shags is to not speak to them ever again lol

Not quite the same... but on the right lines. If anything did ever happen it would ruin my marriage, and her relationship with her boyfriend, and our friendship.

She's a good mate. That's all. No humping involved. I'm a grown up... I am not driven by my testosterone anymore like you kids :D

I just wanted to see what people would do if they had a mate with a boyfriend/girlfriend jealous of your friendship.

[Kinky Monza]

I don't mind if he wants to let himself feel better by "warning me off" to be honest - that alone would take quite a lot of emotion and guts. However, anything more than that, and I wont be held responsible for my ripping his head off lol


Why would you want to rip his head off if you don't want to shag this lass???


I can remember texting you years ago lol always dancing round the fact i thought you WERE fit :confused: guess i've come to my senses now lol

[Jack]

Have you considered HE might be jealous of HER and wants to play "spot the submarine" with you himself?

[wisewood]

Why would you want to rip his head off if you don't want to shag this lass???

I can remember texting you years ago lol always dancing round the fact i thought you WERE fit :confused: guess i've come to my senses now lol

So i should sit back and let him batter me for being friends with his missus? Despite the fact i knew her before he did lol I dont think so. If he wants to make himself feel better by saying "keep your grubby yorkshire mits off my girlfriend" i dont mind that - but if he wants to be any more butch than that I'm afraid i shall defend myself by killing him lol

As for "dancing around the fact" i dont remember much of that - it was just utter filth we used to text each other as i recall.

[Kinky Monza]

Takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight though!

As for utter filth :eek: lol

[wisewood]

i'm not one for walking into fights. but i'm also too pretty to let someone hit me without giving them some back lol

[wisewood]

anyway... IHim saying what he did the other day, and me explaining that i dont wanna come between them, and if she wants, just say so, and i'll chill a bit - she seems to have put the brakes on a bit. Maybe realised that she was making him jealous for no real reason - a few texts a day will make no difference to our friendship instead of 30 texts of utter nonesense.

Tis better this way - saves money lol

[Kinky Monza]

Too pretty???? lol

[wisewood]

As for utter filth :eek: lol

you know damn well what i'm talking about

[wisewood]

Too pretty???? lol

:thumb: yupp. if you dont think so, you're in denial lol

[Stuart]

plus with the spare text time you can send me naughty messages now :D

[Kinky Monza]

you know damn well what i'm talking about


Erm............ lmfao :thumb:


I'm trying not to know lol

[Kinky Monza]

:thumb: yupp. if you dont think so, you're in denial lol


Must be in denial :p

[wisewood]

plus with the spare text time you can send me naughty messages now :D

lmfao. you trying to make carly jealous? Or BT & Dar lol

[Stuart]

hey im an attention whore, what can i say!

[wisewood]

any port in a storm lol suck my balls bitch.

[Stuart]

spill on me big boy

[wisewood]

sorry, i only spill on expensive dj equipment.

[BigStan]

Looks like its all sorted then, was sort of like a Eastenders story line ! lol

[wisewood]

i suppose it was a bit lol but you can make anything sound like that if you have a good ability to write and tend to be over dramatic

[Stuart]

wots gain' on?

[wisewood]

"Mitchell drove my son into the rivvaaa..."

[Kinky Monza]

lol oh dear

[Stuart]

ere whots gain' on



ohh that used to be the most fun drinking game on a friday and the only time i'd watch eastenders... everytime whots gain' on was said you had to neck yer pint :D

[wisewood]

lol I'm gonna try that tonight

[Kinky Monza]

Want video evidence of this lol

[Jack]

That'll be 20+ pints then

[Teggy]

i had simular problem, if you try telling them not to they will do it even more winding you up. but if it gets out of hand i would have a word with your partner, after i had a word it was ok

[wisewood]

another one who clearly didn't read the thread :D

[Kinky Monza]

lol @ wise