joke

[draper]

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

[Tim]

lol , good gag.

everyone knows someone called dave.

Tim

[Timmy]

I know someone called Tim does that count ?

[BigStan]

lol lol Fooking good that !

[carls nova sri]

haha lmao

[wisewood]

everyone knows someone called dave.

Not me.

[Novadex]

lmao
A married couple are driving along a highway doing sixty mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, "Honey, I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to seventy mph.

He then says, "I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.

"I want the house," he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eighty mph.

He says, "I want the car, too," but she just drives faster and faster.

By now she’s up to ninety mph. "All right," he says, "I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too."

The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.

This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, "Isn’t there anything you want?"

The wife says, "No, I’ve got everything I need."

"Oh, really," he says, "so what have you got?"

Right before they slam into the wall at a hundred mph, the wife smiles and says, "The airbag."



not in a nova then? lol

[mowgli]

A vet is asleep in bed. The phone rings & an anxious voice says 'can you come quickly, our dog has swallowed a condom.'
So he gets dressed & is getting in the car when the phone rings again.
the voice says 'It ok, we've found another one in the drawer!'

[draper]

i was coming home tonight, was sat on the M1 doing a nice, steady 90mph when the coppers flashed there lights at me, was in a LET'd nova so thought id have some fun (he was in a diesal astra), accelrated to 110mph, he was still there, went upto 145mph and he was still behind. Obviously i pulled over at this point, as the copper looked at how nice my car was said "if you give me a good excuse for speeding ill let you off"

easy "my girlfriend left me fopr a policeman this morning, i was scared you were trying to give her back" i replied

[nova 1.4 modified]

lmfao, they are all great, i dont know any good ones so i wont bother lol