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ade
19-10-06, 12:14 AM
BUTTERED BREAD ON THE BACK OF A CAT: WHAT FALLS FIRST.

Daniel D. Van Hoy wrote:
>Just think: When you drop a cat from a few feet, it lands upright.
>Also think: When you drop a piece of buttered bread, it lands with
>the buttered side down
>Now think: If you strapped a piece of buttered bread to the back
>of a cat, which would land first.


First the source of the forces must be understood. The force acting on the
bread is not the butter, as some may think. Without the bread, butter
wouldn't land bread side up, and therefore the force could not possibly be
in the butter. We know the force is not the bread because it has been
experimentally proven that bread does not land any particular side down
without butter. The bread/butter force is caused by the fusing of bread and
butter particles together. This fusion causes energy to be released in the
form of shifting gravity and anti-gravity energy to opposite sides of the
bread/butter continuum. The gravity energy naturally shifts to the butter
since it is denser then the bread, while the anti-gravity energy shifts to
the bread side.

The energy in a cat for landing on its feet comes from the feet themselves.
This has been proven experimentally. Cats without feet have a near zero
success rate of landing on their feet. We will call this energy cat foot
energy.

Considering the equal but opposing bread/butter and cat foot forces one
would expect the cat to spin violently about its axis. However the strength
of these forces must be considered. A regular cat is not structurally
stable enough to withstand the torque the spinning causes. I should not
have to describe the way the cat's limbs give way, the way the legs wrench
around until the feet are on the same side of the cat as the butter. And
thus the cat can then land on its feet, butter side down.

We are now researching the possibility of using structurally reinforced
cats for levitation systems, but so far the cost is too high to be
practical. Several attempts at producing economically viable systems were
made by separating the feet so that the instability of the cat would not be
a factor. At first there was dificulty because there was no cat to tie the
bread to. Later it was discovered that when not attached to a cat the feet
lost their cat foot force over time. It is hypothesized that the feet need
to be living to exert the cat foot force, and so far no practical method
has been found for keeping the feet alive other than a cat.

Attempts are also being made to breed flat cats with no legs (only feet).

There are many other problems related with this method of levitation as you
may well imagine, but they are beyond the scope of this discussion.

Harold G Sputsberry PHD
Institute for Alternative Energy Research

:p

Spudly
19-10-06, 12:40 AM
Ive not even managed to read all of this but my head feels soo poorly now, just as i was goin to bed too, now all im gonna dream about is furry pussy`s and bread n butter hmmmm!!! Lol!!

burgo
19-10-06, 02:22 AM
:wtf:

Jack
19-10-06, 08:26 AM
Gotta love scientists; paid sh*tloads to research sh*t lol

Matt2107
19-10-06, 10:09 AM
I thought thats how mono rails work in Japan.

Cats and buttered bread.

wisewood
19-10-06, 10:54 AM
The energy in a cat for landing on its feet comes from the feet themselves.
This has been proven experimentally. Cats without feet have a near zero
success rate of landing on their feet. We will call this energy cat foot
energy.

lmfao @ the energy coming from the feet themselves.

The cat uses its brain, figures out that it is upside down, and manipulates it muscles in such a way as a to get its feet underneath it before it hits the floor. They can do this very quickly, as it prevents them injuring themselves when falling after killing some small creature on a branch or something like that.

As for the science behind bread/butter, psuedo science... nothing more lol

Ricky G
19-10-06, 12:36 PM
who cares????

ade
19-10-06, 06:33 PM
pmsl

mowgli
19-10-06, 08:55 PM
you've got it all wrong, you must butter the cat!!!!!!!!

Ps. the terminal velocity of a cat is 60mph, and due to balance & acceleration due to gravity, a cat has a more than 50% chance of surviving a fall of more than 7 storeys. it is true, and you can blame scientists

wisewood
20-10-06, 03:18 PM
a study of new york vets proved that cats who lived in 6th storey apartments were likely to die if they fell from the window, whereas cats above or below the 6th floor would usually survive, with varying degrees of injury.

Something else that doesnt make sense as a result of thousands of $ investment.

Donova
20-10-06, 11:02 PM
If you put butter on a cats feet it won't leave home, little hint there folks if your thinking of moving house and it cost nothing to research,except the cost of the butter;)

Novadex
22-10-06, 10:54 AM
im now typing this from a mentle home because "apparently" its wrong to chop of cats feet and butter them, even in the name of science! Dam animal rights! :tard: