Matt2107
15-09-06, 12:26 PM
The Two Minute Management Course:
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of manure, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lessons:
(1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy, it just happens.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of manure, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lessons:
(1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy, it just happens.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut.