Product of incest? I think so

[Philsutton]

This guy clearly shows what happens when you mum an dad are brother an sister.

http://www.vxronline.co.uk/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=714

[Welsh Dan]

Wow, I learned a lot there, I'm gonna put my back seats down, passenger seat forward, never fold my sunvisors down and inflate my tyres to 38psi. You can really see the extra power he's getting there, I want the same!

[Riggy]

what a cock :thumb:

[Christ]

haha that was a good laugh.

atleast his grammer was good!

[Iain]

lol What an idiot.

[jbowman]

What a divvy! I couldnt believe he thought that putting seats down helped reduce weight!!

[General Baxter]

nice car tho :)

[dannyb]

I know a guy who drives a Corsa C and claims putting the sunroof up increases downforce. Its a diesel and has Redline magazine letters across the back spelling TDI...

[c'2.0lrt]

what a f*****g d**k:tard: i bet he dates his gran?

[Dar]

Ah ha, he has missed a vital trick there. He also needs to fold in his wing mirrors to reduce drag.
What hes failing to explain (I think) is that lowering the back seats will lower the cars centre of gravity, thus making it handle better.
Also driving with no shoes and having short hair will reduce the weight that your driving around and make it faster.
I always have a big poo before going out as well to try and reduce some of the weight.
If you manage to have a REALLY BIG poo before you leave you can make your 1.2 go like a 1.4.....really, honest, no sh1t lol

[dannyb]

Judging from the guys name, do you reckon they really let people like that into the police and actually drive? The streets will be a safer place at night, I tell thee.

"but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared." - apart from the fact that you are a kn*b.

Next time I go on a plane and they tell me I'm too fat to go on it, I'll just get them to fold a few of the seats flat as this will actually reduce the weight of the plane so it can take off. I'm sure BA or squeezy jet would like to hear my thoughts.

[dannyb]

his email is jamesdennis556@myway.com btw

[SuperNova!]

What utter bollox that guy must be real ****

[Mike]

I always have a big poo before going out as well to try and reduce some of the weight.
If you manage to have a REALLY BIG poo before you leave you can make your 1.2 go like a 1.4.....really, honest, no sh1t lol

lollollollollollol

[Jack]

having short hair will reduce the weight that your driving around and make it faster.
Burgo take note ;)

[TommySR]

*folds down rear seats*.... oh yes, who fancies a race??

[Lee]

Using his theorys as a guide, i am going to remove my Cobras and install 'Bucket camp beds', and then, using a system of mirrors and pulleys, drive my car whilst lying down, instantly removing the weight of my body from the car.

Im also going to lay the headlights flat, lay the radiator flat, and attempt to lay the wheels flat, although i know this will be tricky!

Why hasnt someone brought this invaluable information to us sooner? And why cant i find 'Bucket camp beds' on google??

[draper]

i like the helpful, i always drive round with tenners worth of fuel (what ALWAYS, it never goes down?), no excess weight because all cubby holes/glovebox/boot is empty !!

ha ha ha, fuk twin 45s im washing my car, dirt = extra weight = less power

[dannyb]

He only drive round one up as he doesn't want to put his friends lives at risk from all that unleashed power. That, or he has none.

[NovalutionGSi]

He only drive round one up as he doesn't want to put his friends lives at risk from all that unleashed power. That, or he has none.

was going to say..... sounds more like he has no friends! think i'l have to flattern my subs.... that make sure i hit a sub 16 1/4mile! lol

and 9.2sec 0-60??? is this bloke for real? lol lol

[Jack]

There's a follow up thread on there too.

But as its late, and I'm too lazy, I cba to find a link for it

[Matt2107]

Driving naked and shaving off ALL your body hair helps too.
I've seen it on that braniacs programme.

[Mike.]

lmao what a tool lol

[Donova]

Become anorexiclol There's no way that guys a police driver,He'd be a laughing stocklol lol

[paul james]

This guy is a genius, im going to copy some of his ideas!. But im not stopping at simply washing off that heavy dirt, im going to sand off all the paint, then when the car rusts and bits fall off i should see some amazing weight loss!

[Iain]

when the car rusts and bits fall off

When? I thought this was a Nova forum :p

[Lee]

lol, could always go that step further again and actually remove the shell for those seriously massive gains.

Engine? Too heavy, get rid!

wheels? meh, theyre for pussys!

[walton_lad]

Another Good Tip could be to lose the Breaks, They can be quite heavy and can stunt the cars overall proformance!http://www.paulsview.com/images/Car_in_tre

[Jack]

Ditch the car and buy a Segway! Phwwoooaaaarr!