Jack
12-01-06, 10:15 PM
A few things you should know about Mr.T
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T's Mohawk is not held up by hair gel, his hair is just scared of him and is trying to get as far away as possible.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
On the A-team, Face, Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T wasn't born, he shed a woman.
Mr.T's penis played the role of the snake in "Anaconda."
In Rocky III, there is a scene where Mr. T invites Adrian, played by Talia Shire, to come over to his apartment "to see what a real man is like". This scene had to be shot an astounding 137 times due to the fact that Shire kept repeatedly tearing her clothes off, jumping on Mr. T, and begging for "the chocolate sauce".
Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T's Mohawk is not held up by hair gel, his hair is just scared of him and is trying to get as far away as possible.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
On the A-team, Face, Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T wasn't born, he shed a woman.
Mr.T's penis played the role of the snake in "Anaconda."
In Rocky III, there is a scene where Mr. T invites Adrian, played by Talia Shire, to come over to his apartment "to see what a real man is like". This scene had to be shot an astounding 137 times due to the fact that Shire kept repeatedly tearing her clothes off, jumping on Mr. T, and begging for "the chocolate sauce".
Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.