how do you get in to a barrel of ale???

[-tucny-]

quite a strange day today. i happened to come across a barrel of ale, but i havnt got a clue how im going to set the festive liquids flowing with out causing an injury to myself or the ale. any ideas??

[Stuart]

what type of barrel?


get piccy

[wisewood]

if you happened across it in the street, i'm guessing its a standard steel keg?

[Lee]

oh how i will laugh if it happens to be the fluid they use to clean the pumps!!

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps anyone?

[-tucny-]

yeah, its a steel keg. just bounced down the rd and stopped in front of me!

[wisewood]

Is there a plastic cap on the end? if so this should have some sort of identifier to say whats in it... otherwise, we'll need a pic.

Note: some has the gas added between the barrel and the pump, so it'll be flat.

If its not flat, open with care, may just depressurise and spray everywhere :lol: is it VERY heavy... because if its not it'll be empty!

[Stuart]

if its got a hole in the side and a bung around the rim at one end then its an ale barrel... easy to get into but needs to settle.

[sickrabbit]

If the barrel / keg is marked up as Jack Frost , chuck it in the river mate . I was drinking this stuff yesterday and feel like hell today. I,ve read every bloomin Womans Own , cover to cover that are stored in the lav - been there so many times today. :evil:

[Marc]

oh how i will laugh if it happens to be the fluid they use to clean the pumps!!

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps anyone?

Its blue beer! that program is amazing very funny!

[-tucny-]

its called 'sleigh bells' brewed by everards which iv found out is a midlands brewary. its a festive ale thats brewed to achieve the essance of christmas in a glass, apparently, according to their website.

its heavy, and you can hear the ale spashing a bit inside. theres a plasticy rubber bung in the top about as big as a 20p piece and a plastic bung on the front about as big as a hob knob or a diegestive.

theres a sticker that says it must settle for a minimum of 48 hours, il get a pic up when im home.

[Stuart]

you ideally need a "tap" then... you need to settle the ale for 48 hrs, then take the buyng out of the "side" (the small one), then knock a tap into the big bung at the end. drink and enjoy etc

[Rexy]

what would novaload be without stu and his random knowledge?

[wisewood]

its not random, its useful.

[Stuart]

my sheer breadth of random knowledge is great lol.

anybody need profeiteroles making? im a dab hand with choux pasty lmao

[wisewood]

roflmfao - post me some!

[Stuart]

sorry norveners and welshies arent allowed posh food.

[wisewood]

I'm not northern or welsh, i'm from Kent :?

[Stuart]

your trying to pull the phil_G on us huh? lol

[Nick]

It will be pressurised - Just ripping it open will result in beer spurting everywhere

We had dodgy taps at a pub i used to work out, then popped off all the time when just re-aranging barrels

I'd check it's ok - You really don't want to be drinking Corstic Soda - you'l be dead within minutes lol

so, it just happened to land in front of you then ? LMFAO

[Philsutton]

i think some pikey tried to throw it at you off a moving truck much like donkey kong does with the barrels
http://www.fungus-amungus.com/images/don2big.jpg

[Nick]

LMFAO

but on the Corstic soda note - if it looks like lemonade dont drink it

Saw a thing on 999 once, a woman (typical) in a pub gave a guy a glass of Corstic Soda thinking it was a pre-poured pint of lemonade - he drank it and it basically destroyed his throat /mouth

he now eats through tubes and had to have half of his stomach re-constructed lol

[Philsutton]

yeah they say it was corstic soda but really it was a piss poor pint of lager

[burgo]

make sure you tap the front one first otherwise when you tap the "soft" peg into the top you'll get a fountain lol. i found out the hard way in me dads pub. used to hate doing it always got it over me feet but it just takes practice

[Rexy]

any tips on opening cans of larger?

[Philsutton]

i find a tin opener is an amusing way to open one

[burgo]

any tips on opening cans of larger? frezze it then let it defrost lol

[Stuart]

pop it in the fire..... not as funny as a can of deodorant, but still explody

[jkhilton]

pop it in the fire..... not as funny as a can of deodorant, but still explody


lmfao! me and a friend got in trouble with the police for this when we were about 14. We put those big old 500ml cans of coke onto a barbecue, wedged between 2 bricks. Then you run away and wait. the can slowly expands(almost sounds like it is ticking)then explodes and if the bricks hold it right, it'll shoot really high into the air with a huge bang.

My neighbour called the police because he thought we were making home made bombs!!! LMAO! the police turned up and gave us a long dull speech about the dangers of fire etc.

[Riggy]

pmsl @ john


bet thats well funny to look back on :lol: :lol:


as for rexy opening a can of lager , phils suggestion would be funny :lol: :lol:

[Donova]

thought them beer kegs were made of aluminium, some scallys nick em and melt em down for scrap! :lol:

[Alex]

pop it in the fire..... not as funny as a can of deodorant, but still explody

Explody is a great word! :D

[-tucny-]

heres the culprit!

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y119/tucny/Photo-0049.jpg

PMSL at donkey kong! :lol:

[jon_boy]

I had an empty one so cut it in half with an angle grinder, added legs and now have two nice bbq's. When i say emtpy i mean it pissed out pressurised old lager for a couple of minute when i put a chisel through the top hole but hey.

[ade]

you kucky bar steward! (quite literally!)

As described above you need a tap for the front.

Now if I recall correctly - a mate of mine picked up a tap from B&Q. Not a brewing tap, just a bog standard bathroon fitment - then experimented with a fitting to knock in the front - think he used a length of aluminium and lots of ptfe tape.

:lol:

cannae remember which bung you take out 1st though...pretty cure you knock the tap in the front 1st - that way the pressure in the barrel applied by the top bung forc3es the beer out of the tap.


any tips on opening cans of larger?

1. shake very vigorously
2. take sharp screwdriver (phillips is best
3. plunge into bottom
4. quickly remove and shove end of can in mouth
4a drown
4b drink rapidly and then fall over


works best with cans of K cider or scrumpy jack - for that authentic somersert hangover!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Merry Christmas everyone!

ade

[Jack]

works best with cans of K cider or scrumpy jack - for that authentic somersert hangover!
Pthh, scrumpy jack isn't authentic somerset cider... we have proper stuff here that has bits floating in it and strips paint :lol:

[ade]

ooo-arrrhhhhh!

8)

You'll need to send me a flaggon!

8)