srs1
04-07-05, 05:42 PM
> >Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
> >
> >A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> >
> >Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
> >
> >A: They can't stand criticism
> >
> >Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive
> >
> >caring,and good-looking?
> >
> >A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
> >
> >Q: How do men sort their laundry?
> >
> >A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
> >
> >Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm?
> >
> >A: Because men fake foreplay.
> >
> >Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
> >
> >A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
> >
> >Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> >
> >A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
> >
> >intention of driving.
> >
> >Q: What should you do if you see your ex rolling around in pain
> >
> >on the ground?
> >
> >A: Shoot him again.
> >
> >Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
> >
> >A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck
> >
> >and the noose.
> >
> >Q: Why do little boys whine?
> >
> >A: Because they're practicing to be men.
> >
> >Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> >
> >A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to
> >
> >evolve around him.
> >
> >OR Three -one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
> >
> >about the screwing part.
> >
> >Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
> >
> >A: Trustworthy.
> >
> >Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
> >
> >and calling your name?
> >
> >A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
> >
> >Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
> >
> >A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
> >
> >Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
> >
> >mating?
> >
> >A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
> >
> >Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
> >
> >A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
> >
> >Q: What is the difference between men and women...
> >
> >A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
> >
> >every woman to satisfy his one need.
> >
> >Q: How does a man keep his youth?
> >
> >A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
> >
> >Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> >
> >A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
> >
> >A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> >
> >Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
> >
> >A: They can't stand criticism
> >
> >Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive
> >
> >caring,and good-looking?
> >
> >A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
> >
> >Q: How do men sort their laundry?
> >
> >A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
> >
> >Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm?
> >
> >A: Because men fake foreplay.
> >
> >Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
> >
> >A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
> >
> >Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> >
> >A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
> >
> >intention of driving.
> >
> >Q: What should you do if you see your ex rolling around in pain
> >
> >on the ground?
> >
> >A: Shoot him again.
> >
> >Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
> >
> >A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck
> >
> >and the noose.
> >
> >Q: Why do little boys whine?
> >
> >A: Because they're practicing to be men.
> >
> >Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> >
> >A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to
> >
> >evolve around him.
> >
> >OR Three -one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
> >
> >about the screwing part.
> >
> >Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
> >
> >A: Trustworthy.
> >
> >Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
> >
> >and calling your name?
> >
> >A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
> >
> >Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
> >
> >A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
> >
> >Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
> >
> >mating?
> >
> >A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
> >
> >Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
> >
> >A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
> >
> >Q: What is the difference between men and women...
> >
> >A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
> >
> >every woman to satisfy his one need.
> >
> >Q: How does a man keep his youth?
> >
> >A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
> >
> >Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> >
> >A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"