boredbloke
25-05-05, 11:09 PM
These are genuine clips from council tenant's complaint letters...
>My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
>
>He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
>take it anymore.
>
>It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
>
>I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
>
>I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put
>his foot in the hole in his back passage.
>
>And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
>fence.
>
>I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
>think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
>
>My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
>
>I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
>
>Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
>and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
>
>I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
>
>50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
>
>I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
>
>The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
>cleared.
>
>Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and
>not fit to drink.
>
>Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
>
>The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
>unsightly and dangerous.
>
>Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
>so please send someone round to do something about it.
>
>I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
>something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
>
>Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
>wife.
>
>I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
>have no satisfaction.
>
>This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get
>BBC2.
>
>My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
>
>He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't
>take it anymore.
>
>It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
>
>I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
>
>I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put
>his foot in the hole in his back passage.
>
>And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
>fence.
>
>I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
>think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
>
>My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
>
>I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
>
>Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
>and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
>
>I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
>
>50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
>
>I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
>
>The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
>cleared.
>
>Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and
>not fit to drink.
>
>Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
>
>The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
>unsightly and dangerous.
>
>Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third
>so please send someone round to do something about it.
>
>I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
>something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
>
>Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
>wife.
>
>I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
>have no satisfaction.
>
>This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get
>BBC2.
>