scott.parker
24-02-05, 07:11 PM
Had this E mail from a mate some are funny,others are not,lol read on and see..
Scott
from insurence claim forms
1. I started to slow down but the traffic was more
stationary than I thought.
2. I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the
bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and
smothered it with a blanket.
3. Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?
4. This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.
The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo
5. I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a
camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction
caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
6. On approach to the traffic lights the car in front
suddenly broke.
7. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on
the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost
control.
8. I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
9. I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would
not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
10. Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other
pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
11. First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car
and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.
12. Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
13. The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I
hit him again.
14. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
15. The other car collided with mine without giving
warning of its intention.
16. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
17. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
18. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
19. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
20. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my
way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
21. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble
when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
22. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck
the pedestrian.
23. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
24. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car
and vanished.
25. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was
later found in a ditch by some stray cows!
Scott
from insurence claim forms
1. I started to slow down but the traffic was more
stationary than I thought.
2. I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the
bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and
smothered it with a blanket.
3. Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?
4. This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.
The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo
5. I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a
camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction
caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
6. On approach to the traffic lights the car in front
suddenly broke.
7. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on
the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost
control.
8. I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
9. I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would
not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
10. Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other
pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
11. First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car
and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.
12. Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
13. The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I
hit him again.
14. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
15. The other car collided with mine without giving
warning of its intention.
16. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
17. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
18. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
19. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
20. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my
way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
21. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble
when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
22. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck
the pedestrian.
23. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
24. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car
and vanished.
25. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was
later found in a ditch by some stray cows!