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Anonymous
27-01-02, 11:19 PM
Dear Help Desk

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5 and Footie 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but de-install doesn't work on this program.

Can you please help.
Joe

Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to de-install, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I-APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the 'Esc' key. It may be necessary to run C:\I-APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not under any circumstances install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.

Best of luck
Tech Support


Hi officer.
What?
She said she was 16!
NOT AGAIN FFS

Anonymous
27-01-02, 11:25 PM
quality


Cheers

Phil

Anonymous
27-01-02, 11:26 PM
I LIKE IT! How long 2 think that up? :)

Anonymous
28-01-02, 05:38 PM
LMAO :D - Nice one Fester, i could stop pissing myself whilst reading that, also Girlfriend 7.0 was also reading and found it funny - i wonder if she'd have laughed if she was Wife 1.0?????

Cya!

Anonymous
29-01-02, 01:40 AM
lol i could have done with that about 6 months ago when i split with "worlass" lol

Micky@novaload.net