Anonymous
07-09-01, 05:13 PM
Its tough supporting Man U
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their Manchester United
Treble commemorative stamps. People couldn't figure out which side to spit
on.
******
Q: How many Man Utd people does it take to change a lightbulb? ...
A: Seven, one to change it, five to moan about it and Ferguson to say if
the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have
gone out!
******
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total write-off
and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his
friend,
"What's happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend replies, "I ran over David Beckham".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood...
But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
*******
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you
open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is
in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour
coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're heartless, spineless,
gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.
******
Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their
necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
******
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
Manchester United Fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
******
Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
******
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester
United Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan. Twice.
***:D we are going to win the world cup :D ***
england england england........
***********Formally nova91***********
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their Manchester United
Treble commemorative stamps. People couldn't figure out which side to spit
on.
******
Q: How many Man Utd people does it take to change a lightbulb? ...
A: Seven, one to change it, five to moan about it and Ferguson to say if
the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have
gone out!
******
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total write-off
and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his
friend,
"What's happened to your car?"
"Well," the friend replies, "I ran over David Beckham".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood...
But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
*******
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:
1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you
open them up, everything inside is numbered."
2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is
in alphabetical order."
3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour
coded."
4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're heartless, spineless,
gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable.
******
Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their
necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
******
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
Manchester United Fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
******
Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
******
Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester
United Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the United Fan. Twice.
***:D we are going to win the world cup :D ***
england england england........
***********Formally nova91***********