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Chris
15-07-04, 12:18 PM
After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo (and he
doesn't travel light),the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on
the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take
your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me
drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if
something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never
gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind
the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport,
the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but
the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets
on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a
limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the
cop.

Chief exclaimed,"All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop:"Bigger."

Chief:"Governor?"

Cop:"Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief,"Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief:"What makes you think it's God?"

Cop:"He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"

Rach
15-07-04, 12:26 PM
:lol:

Chris
15-07-04, 12:34 PM
Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican

Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an
audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see
the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Holiness, but are there any dwarf nuns in
Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment,
and
answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns
around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back,

"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers
"Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again,
Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare. Dopey turns
back and says,

"Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the
world?"
After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds,
"I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding
the
floor, tears streaming down their cheeks as they begin chanting.....


"Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"

Rach
15-07-04, 12:35 PM
LMFAO

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dpnova
15-07-04, 12:36 PM
:lol:

sTuDeNt
15-07-04, 01:23 PM
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Riggy
15-07-04, 05:33 PM
:D :lol:

srs1
15-07-04, 05:40 PM
that is quality mate

J4MES
15-07-04, 10:43 PM
both funny :lol: :lol:

Mel
16-07-04, 12:26 AM
LOL!!

burgo
16-07-04, 01:09 AM
lol crackin nice1 chris

epo
16-07-04, 09:13 PM
brilliant best ive heard in ages :lol: :lol: :lol:

-Bruce-
17-07-04, 01:27 PM
haha second one was great!! :lol: :lol:

bruce

rachaelrebekah
17-07-04, 01:55 PM
nice one!!
very good mate!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

DirtyDave
17-07-04, 06:18 PM
wicked! they are both hilarious top quality, u got anymor :?:
:mrgreen: :infinity: :eating: