Anonymous
23-08-01, 04:02 PM
This information has been passed to me from our double agent down south. To pass by unnoticed he has had to drive an escort cabriolet with "roofless" down the side, to avoid blowing his cover has has asked me to post this seeing as the accused already has a dislike for me - and i dont care :D
*****PUBLIC NOTICE*****
ATTENTION ALL, NOW FOLLOWS A WARNING OF CORRUPT BEHAVIOUR WITHIN THE RANKS;
Her Majesty's government have undertaken a brave and cunning plan to
infiltrate Novaload and to ascertain the intelligence of the average boy
racer. The secret agent has been issued with false identities and a new
life giving the image of a "typical Essex lad". Inside information has
revealed the carefully organised plans, and they are as follows;
1. Make absurdly false claims of the performance of ones own "Snatch
magnet".
2. Try and sell useless rubbish disguised as performance parts, and make
wild claims as to there benefits.
3. Study the response to the above trials and see if the targeted people
are complete d*cks and fall for it!
Now, there is no need to panic, as Novaload security are hot on the heals of
the perp, and feel a confrontation will soon take place. The suspect has
been named as Keith Flanagan who goes by the name of K&N. The interesting
information that has led to his identification is as follows;
a. Claiming he has uplifted cams, and I emphasise the plural, which would
be amazing in an eight valve engine, and how did he uplift them,
tell them a few jokes and pop em some pills? Surely the term u are
looking for is high lift cam, or uprated cam!
b. Claiming he has a chipped rally style ECU which he claims he paid ?200
for only 6 weeks ago that gives him huge power and makes the
car idle at 2,000rpm when he admitted on site some time ago that it was
an unknown ECU (damaged by the sound of it) that he found in
the back of his car when he bought it. Even worse is he is trying to
sell it!
c. Claiming that a lightly modified (as above) GTE engine could propel his
car to 60 in sub 7secs. muhahahaaaaa.
d. Insisting on selling his lightweight rally parts (rofsmsolmfao) that u
can tell from the adverts are just used standard parts.
e. Claiming in one advert that using a 1.4 SR head and manifold, skimmed or
not will make your 1.3 perform like a R5GTT, when everybody
that knows anything about engines will tell u that the 1.4 head is a very
bad design in comparison to the 1300 which has almost double the port
volume.
This is just a warning with many more examples available, so don't have
nightmares, sleep tight.
[-tommy.jpg-]
Just like that!
*****PUBLIC NOTICE*****
ATTENTION ALL, NOW FOLLOWS A WARNING OF CORRUPT BEHAVIOUR WITHIN THE RANKS;
Her Majesty's government have undertaken a brave and cunning plan to
infiltrate Novaload and to ascertain the intelligence of the average boy
racer. The secret agent has been issued with false identities and a new
life giving the image of a "typical Essex lad". Inside information has
revealed the carefully organised plans, and they are as follows;
1. Make absurdly false claims of the performance of ones own "Snatch
magnet".
2. Try and sell useless rubbish disguised as performance parts, and make
wild claims as to there benefits.
3. Study the response to the above trials and see if the targeted people
are complete d*cks and fall for it!
Now, there is no need to panic, as Novaload security are hot on the heals of
the perp, and feel a confrontation will soon take place. The suspect has
been named as Keith Flanagan who goes by the name of K&N. The interesting
information that has led to his identification is as follows;
a. Claiming he has uplifted cams, and I emphasise the plural, which would
be amazing in an eight valve engine, and how did he uplift them,
tell them a few jokes and pop em some pills? Surely the term u are
looking for is high lift cam, or uprated cam!
b. Claiming he has a chipped rally style ECU which he claims he paid ?200
for only 6 weeks ago that gives him huge power and makes the
car idle at 2,000rpm when he admitted on site some time ago that it was
an unknown ECU (damaged by the sound of it) that he found in
the back of his car when he bought it. Even worse is he is trying to
sell it!
c. Claiming that a lightly modified (as above) GTE engine could propel his
car to 60 in sub 7secs. muhahahaaaaa.
d. Insisting on selling his lightweight rally parts (rofsmsolmfao) that u
can tell from the adverts are just used standard parts.
e. Claiming in one advert that using a 1.4 SR head and manifold, skimmed or
not will make your 1.3 perform like a R5GTT, when everybody
that knows anything about engines will tell u that the 1.4 head is a very
bad design in comparison to the 1300 which has almost double the port
volume.
This is just a warning with many more examples available, so don't have
nightmares, sleep tight.
[-tommy.jpg-]
Just like that!