Why?

[PAG]

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?


Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

[Rach]

:?

[srs1]

if pro is a good thing and con is the opposite.
whats the difference between
progress and congress?

[srs1]

if pro is a good thing and con is the opposite.
whats the difference between
progress and congress?

[Rach]

"if a slice of bread always lands butter side up, and a cat always lands on it's feet - what happens when you tie a slice of bread (butter side down) onto the back of a cat and throw them off a wall...?"

:wink:

[srs1]

you need to get out more rach

[Rach]

you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

[?Marty?]

Batman never wore spandex in the movies.

[Rach]

Batman never wore spandex in the movies.

and the x-men in the films...

all were leather/pvc-clad... (just like denny at the weekends...)

:lol:

[Coddy]

in answer to rach's query...




When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.



I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats. Also, should here be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
p = s * t(t)/tc
where
p is the probability of carpet impact,
s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.

Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero. tc and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour. So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet. Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.

[nam]

^some one has a lot of spear time^

[?Marty?]

^^ some kind of Mohawk you mean? tribal gang?

[dan_mk1]

lmao

[angel_vickie]

lol

[srs1]

jesus mate.

go the toilet and masturbate. doing something worth while with your spare time.

[Riggy]

jesus mate.

go the toilet and masturbate. doing something worth while with your spare time.

pmsl i agree there mate :D

[Rach]

just one question....

coddy+nova... do you have ANY friends, or do you just sit in your bedroom reading non-fiction books rocking back and forth...?

:?

[Ste_Nova]

jesus mate.

go the toilet and masturbate. doing something worth while with your spare time.

why should i go to the toilet.. i have my on office

[Rach]

:lol:

[srs1]

dont want to know about your orrifice (sp) ste!

[Rach]

dont want to know about your orrifice (sp) ste!

sure you do...

:lol:

[Snowface]

is the glass half empty or half full?

Neither, the glass is just twice as big as it needs to be.

[Coddy]

dont suppose theres any point me trying to explain i didnt actually make that up by my own intelligence... i just read it somewhere else the other day :wink:

[srs1]

is the glass half empty or half full?

Neither, the glass is just twice as big as it needs to be.

either way its your round :wink:

[Rach]

mmmmm... alcohol :D