Paul
25-05-04, 12:56 AM
SPEED KILLS- Drive a Ford and live longer.
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"
Driving a ford is like the special olympics....even if you win your still a retard (no offence)
Owners of Ford's often say: "That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!"
Did you know that Ford has a new magnetised bumper?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
God make shit, Ford gave it wheels
Did you know that 98% of all Fords ever built are still on the road?
The other 2% made it home!!
Keep out motorways clear, beautiful and user friendly.
So leave your Ford at home.
A guy walks into a service station and says to the attendant
"hey have you got a petrol cap for a ford"
and the attendant says "yeah sure sounds like a fair swap"
If Ford mean's(First on race day) It is only because it is still there from the last race day.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there footpaths beside roads?
A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home
Q: What kind of car did Fred Flinstone drive?
A: A ford of course, and it ain't much different now!
Q: How long can a ford go for with out repairs?
A: Depends if you can leave the ford dealer.
Q: What does a ford and a tampon have in common?
A: They both come with tow ropes.
If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...
-You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.
-When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.
-While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.
-You have preferred customer status at Partco.
-You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.
-You leave your keys in the ignition and a ?20 note on the dash for petrol money in hopes that someone will steal your car.
-When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.
-In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes.
A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"
Driving a ford is like the special olympics....even if you win your still a retard (no offence)
Owners of Ford's often say: "That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!"
Did you know that Ford has a new magnetised bumper?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
God make shit, Ford gave it wheels
Did you know that 98% of all Fords ever built are still on the road?
The other 2% made it home!!
Keep out motorways clear, beautiful and user friendly.
So leave your Ford at home.
A guy walks into a service station and says to the attendant
"hey have you got a petrol cap for a ford"
and the attendant says "yeah sure sounds like a fair swap"
If Ford mean's(First on race day) It is only because it is still there from the last race day.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there footpaths beside roads?
A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home
Q: What kind of car did Fred Flinstone drive?
A: A ford of course, and it ain't much different now!
Q: How long can a ford go for with out repairs?
A: Depends if you can leave the ford dealer.
Q: What does a ford and a tampon have in common?
A: They both come with tow ropes.
If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...
-You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.
-When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.
-While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.
-You have preferred customer status at Partco.
-You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.
-You leave your keys in the ignition and a ?20 note on the dash for petrol money in hopes that someone will steal your car.
-When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.
-In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes.