Couple of joke for you all *enjoy*

[DUNOVA.]

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! !!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. . . . . . . .

"You just happened to catch my eye." :lol:



Q. Why cant blondes get car insurence?

A. Because they get rear ended too much


You need your speakers on for this one *NOT SUITABLE TO PLAY AT WORK :wink: *I don't no about you lot but this one I found so funny it made me cry :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

http://www.totallytom.com/MadCow.html



Two Irish man are on a building site Paddy and connor

Paddy is up on the scaffolding and connor is walking about below

Conner shouts to paddy Ive fell down a hole and it's full of milk!!!

''Paddy replie's'' Is it pasteurised

''Connor replie's'' No it's up to my knees :|

[j0anne]

THE BEAR AND THE RABBIT

Once there was a rabbit and a bear living in a forest. They went
out for a walk and saw a magic golden frog. The rabbit and bear
said, "Goodie, three wishes!" The frog then said, "No, six wishes
since there are two of you." They got even more excited.

The bear went first. "I wish that all the bears in this forest
are females, except for me." POOF! His wish was granted.

Then it was the rabbit's turn. "I wish for a racing bike helmet."
POOF! His wish was granted.

The bear hesitated, then said, "I wish all the bears in the
neighboring forests were females, except for me." POOF! His wish
was granted.

The rabbit already knew what he wanted, "I wish for a
motorcycle!" POOF! His wish was granted.

The frog broke in and said, "Now hurry up, I must be on my way!
And, may I add, choose carefully your last wish!!"

The bear said, "Alright, I know my last wish. I wish all the
bears in the world were female, except for me." POOF! His wish
was granted.

The rabbit thought for a while, put on his helmet, and got on his
motorcycle. With a smirk on his face he said, "I wish the bear
were gay."
:P

[rachaelrebekah]

lmao

[-Bruce-]

lol they are all good :lol:

[Riggy]

lol the bear one was quality ha ha but the cow one was annoying untill that hammer hit it lol then i laughed :lol:

[Rach]

lmao... :lol:

[XZiBiT]

good ones them

[epo]

lol funny :lol:

[Mel]

lol, that cow one is funny