Chris
09-03-04, 10:11 AM
just a couple of jokes i found
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"
A jumper-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, i can clearly see you're nuts"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, i'm positive"
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?
"Well", says the vet, "let's have a look at him
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "i'm going to have to put him down.
What? Because he'ss cross-eyed?
"No, because he's really heavy!
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem? asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey! " says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?
"Like a glove."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"
A jumper-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, i can clearly see you're nuts"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, i'm positive"
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?
"Well", says the vet, "let's have a look at him
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "i'm going to have to put him down.
What? Because he'ss cross-eyed?
"No, because he's really heavy!
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem? asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey! " says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?
"Like a glove."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh