Ste_Nova
06-02-04, 05:18 PM
To Dakar or bust...
featuring a brown nova saloon!!!
The international Paris Dakar Rally teams rev up their high-budget gleaming racing cars in readiness for the start of the hardest motoring challenge known to man ?
?meanwhile in a car park in Gibraltar over 40 MOT failures from Britain, each worth less than ?100, are completing the first leg of the Plymouth-Dakar Challenge, on their way to cross the Sahara desert; cars that you'd think twice about taking down the road to Safeways.
Rally "Organiser" Julian Nowill 42, a Westcountry stockbroker with a rather misguided passion for Lada's, describes the route reciting paragraphs from guidebooks, but then admits that he, like all the other participants in the rally, doesn't have a clue what lies ahead.
Three weeks later: The convoy has crossed the largest desert on earth and has arrived in The Gambia. Julian is busy organising an auction of the Rally cars in support of local charities?
?Only six cars have not made it, and amazingly the 2CV and the 1977 Hillman Hunter are still going strong?
?Team Nowieser have completed the whole trip with no money, relying only on their stock of alcohol and porn to trade with, and have sold their ?40 Granada for ?1000 in Dakar?
?Chris' Rover is still by the dune where the clutch finally gave out, but that was only after the leaking petrol tank was bypassed, the hole in the sump was fixed with liquid metal, and a cat pissed on the drivers seat?
? Well-spoken Eleanor managed to get her Audi (which others suspect cost a lot more than ?100) through the desert despite their useless guide Mohamed, who led them through rocks and got them stuck in soft sand before Ella kicked him out ?
?The Senegalese police are now much richer as a result of the bribes they pocketed (on hidden camera) but the locals who tried to extort even more money from the rally are mending the metal gate that was destroyed by the breakout of cars...
?The sunburn on Jeff's bum is peeling after his naked ride through the desert on top of the rusty Renault Traffic van, "Just call me Priscilla" he winks.
?Dave and Karen's roof-top tent has protected them from snakes and scorpions but didn't stop a donkey from raiding their food supply. Their Lada Niva is riding on a set of tennis balls after the shock absorber broke and Karen is itching to get back home to see her kids?
? Nick, who's never left Devon before, has womanised his way across half of Africa and winds up in a drag club?
? and the boys in the flame-painted Nova collect their "Golden Spanner" award for "Mechanical Revival Beyond The Call of Reality" in dinner jackets and sandals
featuring a brown nova saloon!!!
The international Paris Dakar Rally teams rev up their high-budget gleaming racing cars in readiness for the start of the hardest motoring challenge known to man ?
?meanwhile in a car park in Gibraltar over 40 MOT failures from Britain, each worth less than ?100, are completing the first leg of the Plymouth-Dakar Challenge, on their way to cross the Sahara desert; cars that you'd think twice about taking down the road to Safeways.
Rally "Organiser" Julian Nowill 42, a Westcountry stockbroker with a rather misguided passion for Lada's, describes the route reciting paragraphs from guidebooks, but then admits that he, like all the other participants in the rally, doesn't have a clue what lies ahead.
Three weeks later: The convoy has crossed the largest desert on earth and has arrived in The Gambia. Julian is busy organising an auction of the Rally cars in support of local charities?
?Only six cars have not made it, and amazingly the 2CV and the 1977 Hillman Hunter are still going strong?
?Team Nowieser have completed the whole trip with no money, relying only on their stock of alcohol and porn to trade with, and have sold their ?40 Granada for ?1000 in Dakar?
?Chris' Rover is still by the dune where the clutch finally gave out, but that was only after the leaking petrol tank was bypassed, the hole in the sump was fixed with liquid metal, and a cat pissed on the drivers seat?
? Well-spoken Eleanor managed to get her Audi (which others suspect cost a lot more than ?100) through the desert despite their useless guide Mohamed, who led them through rocks and got them stuck in soft sand before Ella kicked him out ?
?The Senegalese police are now much richer as a result of the bribes they pocketed (on hidden camera) but the locals who tried to extort even more money from the rally are mending the metal gate that was destroyed by the breakout of cars...
?The sunburn on Jeff's bum is peeling after his naked ride through the desert on top of the rusty Renault Traffic van, "Just call me Priscilla" he winks.
?Dave and Karen's roof-top tent has protected them from snakes and scorpions but didn't stop a donkey from raiding their food supply. Their Lada Niva is riding on a set of tennis balls after the shock absorber broke and Karen is itching to get back home to see her kids?
? Nick, who's never left Devon before, has womanised his way across half of Africa and winds up in a drag club?
? and the boys in the flame-painted Nova collect their "Golden Spanner" award for "Mechanical Revival Beyond The Call of Reality" in dinner jackets and sandals