epo
23-10-03, 08:53 PM
If Premiership teams were women...
>Arsenal - Angelina Jolie
> Look good, a bit maverick at times and you know they have the
>potential to really f**k the ass of you
>
>Aston Villa - Dido
>One big hit. Fairly inoffensive really
>
>Birmingham City - Mariah Carey
>Occasionally interesting, frequently annoying. Supporters are thick
>
>Blackburn Rovers - Melanie Sykes
>Common as muck, constantly worrying.
>
>Bolton Wanderers - Natalie Imbruglia
>Always looks like she might go down but never does
>
>Charlton Athletic - Martine McCutcheon
>Chirpy Cockney with the ability to spring a few surprises
>
>Chelsea - Rachel Stevens
>Every bit looks good from all angles. But what is she doing with that
>idiot?
>
>Everton - Barbara Windsor
>Been laughing at those t*ts so long we forget that once upon a time
>they actually looked quite good
>
>Fulham - Andrea Corr
>Not bad to look at but not much of her. Seems a bit awestruck with fame
>
>Leicester City - Patsy Palmer
>Generally a bit crap and second rate really, but some people like her
>
>Leeds United - Lisa Scott Lee
>Dirty
>
>Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor
>Individually all the components look fantastic - just doesn't work
>when put together.
>
>Man City - Madonna
>Have been big at times - now lost the plot a bit - ageing stars.
>Nice new home though
>
>Man United - Jordan
>Dominated by t*ts. F*cked by Dwight Yorke. Repulsive to pretty much anyone
>with any taste
>
>Middlesborough - Tara Palmer Tompkinson
> Can look quite good at the back - but nothing at all up front to
>speak of.
>
>Newcastle United - Christina Aguillera
>Can look good. Various unsavoury elements though.
>
>Portsmouth - Chrissie Hynde
>On the face of it a has-been but you're quite interested in what
>she's going to do next
>
>Southampton - Kylie Minogue
>Sometimes you feel sorry for them, They're not huge and you've got a
>bit of a soft spot.
>
>Tottenham - Joan Collins
>Used to look good, but living on past glories.
>
>West Ham - Britney Spears
>Been threatening to go down for ages, then finally did this year
>Arsenal - Angelina Jolie
> Look good, a bit maverick at times and you know they have the
>potential to really f**k the ass of you
>
>Aston Villa - Dido
>One big hit. Fairly inoffensive really
>
>Birmingham City - Mariah Carey
>Occasionally interesting, frequently annoying. Supporters are thick
>
>Blackburn Rovers - Melanie Sykes
>Common as muck, constantly worrying.
>
>Bolton Wanderers - Natalie Imbruglia
>Always looks like she might go down but never does
>
>Charlton Athletic - Martine McCutcheon
>Chirpy Cockney with the ability to spring a few surprises
>
>Chelsea - Rachel Stevens
>Every bit looks good from all angles. But what is she doing with that
>idiot?
>
>Everton - Barbara Windsor
>Been laughing at those t*ts so long we forget that once upon a time
>they actually looked quite good
>
>Fulham - Andrea Corr
>Not bad to look at but not much of her. Seems a bit awestruck with fame
>
>Leicester City - Patsy Palmer
>Generally a bit crap and second rate really, but some people like her
>
>Leeds United - Lisa Scott Lee
>Dirty
>
>Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor
>Individually all the components look fantastic - just doesn't work
>when put together.
>
>Man City - Madonna
>Have been big at times - now lost the plot a bit - ageing stars.
>Nice new home though
>
>Man United - Jordan
>Dominated by t*ts. F*cked by Dwight Yorke. Repulsive to pretty much anyone
>with any taste
>
>Middlesborough - Tara Palmer Tompkinson
> Can look quite good at the back - but nothing at all up front to
>speak of.
>
>Newcastle United - Christina Aguillera
>Can look good. Various unsavoury elements though.
>
>Portsmouth - Chrissie Hynde
>On the face of it a has-been but you're quite interested in what
>she's going to do next
>
>Southampton - Kylie Minogue
>Sometimes you feel sorry for them, They're not huge and you've got a
>bit of a soft spot.
>
>Tottenham - Joan Collins
>Used to look good, but living on past glories.
>
>West Ham - Britney Spears
>Been threatening to go down for ages, then finally did this year