I know this isnt mumsnet LOL but...

[Pistol Pete]

..lol Apologies.

So, calling all parents....

My eldest son (3.5ish) got abit of a whack today off a playmate of his. Now we have always taught him that hitting is bad and not to do it. However, i have contemplated telling him that if he is hit first only IF, he hits them back. Obviously i am not condoning violence, but there has to be a line?

Thoughts? I know sounds abit of girly thread, but surely you parents out there must have come across this?

[Scottcooper85]

Mines at school now as she's nearly 5 I asked my wife this same question but she insisted we just tell her to find someone else to play with or go see the teacher if anyone pushes/hits her. It's hard seeing them get pushed around when your trying to raise them right. If our lass hadn't told me not to my advice was going to be hit them back twice as hard lol

[Keif]

I have a 4 year old (well he is in 4 days), he often plays with our next door neighbours son (who's 6months younger)

He can be quite boisterous and sometimes hits out as they play. A few times he's hit our son. Nothing nasty but enough for some tears.
Both us and our neighbours have turned round and said "Hit him back".

He didn't but then once, he turned round and pushed him to the floor.

Neighbours son didn't know what happened.

Sorrys were said all round and now the "problem" has gone.

[dgbnova#1]

Tell him to stand up for himself if needed I've seen bullying first hand and it's better to make your stand early than years of abuse I'm not saying that's this case but bully's prey on the weak or the appearance of weak

[mk1nova_rich]

I am teaching my son (nearly 1) not to smack as he went through a bit of a phase of smacking lol He gets told off and rightly so but I don't tell him off if people get in his face and annoy him, smack him first etc and he pushes away or smacks back. Hopefully he will learn to distinguish the difference between being a bully and standing up for himself.

I imagine I will end up having a do with teachers when he goes to school as I don't agree with reporting bullying and so on. A good clout is usually far more effective lol

[Jeff16v]

i'm trying to teach my 5 year old daughter not to hit, she kept punching some older kid at the soft pay today because he thew some balls at her.

They need to stand up for themselves and as long a they aren't the ones bullying, I don't see a problem with them hitting back.

I knee'd a boy at nursery because he took a bite out of my son's finger, then said, oh sorry didn't see you there!

[Pistol Pete]

Cheers for the replies.

Its a tricky one as on the one hand we want him to stand up for himself, but at the same w we don't want to promote hitting!

[mowgli]

trying to keep him from hitting people is the best thing to do. if a kid gets a reputation as a hitter, it will get about & go on his record.

I've found that avoiding fists but telling the other kid's parents is a good tactic.

[88ESR]

My two lads are 14 and 8..

We didn't have any real issues with our oldest..

The youngest was told to tell a teacher or assistant if he had any problems to do with being hit..

This generally works, however he told us of one or two occasions where he retaliated when a persistent bully kept hassling him and his friends..

The teachers tend to get to know who the persistent offenders are, so know who to believe when situations arise..

[Stuart]

Told ours that she can fight back if needed... Boys don't cope well when a younger girl kicks their asses lol