View Full Version : Funny phrases you use
Hi iam bored so thought id start this thread, to here your funny phrases, il go first some i use in day to day lifelollollol
Flatter than a witches tit
wetter than a otters pocket
as bent as a nine bob note
:d:d
interested to hear any you use
turbojolt
19-01-13, 06:07 PM
do they not have tvs over in chesterfeild
turbojolt
19-01-13, 06:09 PM
-empty the ****ing till you ****
-not guilty
-get on the ground or i will ****ing blow your brains out
-i was with my girlfriend in bed all day
yep but iam of ill from work at the moment been layed flat in bed for 8 days now with a slipped disc in my neck , so thought this would cheer me up , also telly is crap rather listen to music and surf the net lol
as dry as a nun's wotsit
you couldn't drive sheep
you couldn't back out of an argument
(both driving sayings)
you couldn't float up if someone chucked you in a canal (concreting saying)
oh &
quick lets get upstairs, you never know when tj is going to get suspended again..... lol
turbojolt
19-01-13, 06:15 PM
slip disc in your neck! that sound painfull!!
therealnovaboy
19-01-13, 06:24 PM
Thats a fair erse for crackin pan-drops - she has a nice bum
A sare price for a half bap - quite pricey
Through the cloot - pass wind that has residue
At you yolkit with the al Davey Broon? - did you pass me earlier
Spinin the beets - wheel spin
It Widna pull the skin aff oh custerd. - under powered
a fair quine - a nice girl
thought id better add the translatins
"you couldnt close an umbrella"
yea tj it is pain killers dont touch it, hopefully when i have my MRI scan next week they will be able to sort it , reading the project builds has helped lol
chrisd1986
19-01-13, 06:33 PM
Brains of a chocolate mouse
As good as aids
Couldnt score in a brothel
Couldnt organise a pissup in a brewery
Couldnt pull a nigger of ya sister
if you fell in a barrel of nipples, you would come out sucking your thumb
**** is my favorite word lol
Martin.p
19-01-13, 06:43 PM
That's about as usefull as a chocolate teapot.
It's as loose as a wizards sleeve.
**** you, you ****ing ****.
**** you, and the horse you rode in on..
Take yourself to fukk..
scoobyeater
19-01-13, 07:02 PM
Groundworkers terms...
Rougher than badgers bollox..
They stick out like a pair of bollox on a chiuaua..
She's had more pricks in her than a second hand worlds dart board lol...
some others
as bright as a 1 watt light buld
more teeth than a ferrari gearbox
teeth like dustbins , one every yard
as daft as a brush
teeth like dustbins , one every yard
One my mate came out with....
He's got teeth like a burned down village..
lol
8valve-craig
19-01-13, 07:39 PM
Last time i heard that one i fell off my dinosaur.
One my mate came out with....
He's got teeth like a burned down village..
thats one i will use in the future thanks spudlylollollollollol
8valve-craig
19-01-13, 07:43 PM
He's got teeth like a burned down village..
Wetting myself, Cant wait to use it. lol
We used to say teeth like the school railings.
As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike-useless
Fight? he couldnt fight sleep that un'-utter fag of a male
you've more chance of plaiting fog bredrin-its not happening/no chance my friend.
rum un's-Unsavoury characters
Sweating like a furnace workers ringpiece-im rather hot
Teeth like gravestones that un'-Perhaps a visit to the dentist in order?
A personal favourite of mine which i havent used for 18days-"gerrem in then marra!!"-
Get the drinks in my friend
more front than brighton
as drunk as a skunk???? dunno why a skunk would be drunk lol
tighter than a ducks butt
as pissed as ars3holes is better lol
lol lollollollollollollol much betterlollollollollollol
davie300zx
19-01-13, 08:30 PM
shes got a fan.y like a clowns pocket
as rough as a badgers **** !!
as pished as a wet fart
My mate once described his todger as being like a blind cobblers thumb after a night of rampant shagging lol
"that lad hasnt had a jump for time,he must have a knob like a bicyle handgrip!"-The gentlemen hasnt had any female company in a while,so he must have to please himself frequently,therefore suffering some kind of soreness on his gentlemens area,perhaps.
"bollox,nee fukkin ars3 rag,will have to tramp sh1t this time!"-As there appears to be no toilet roll,i am going to chance that my stool is firm enough to get away with not wiping on this occasion.
"i've forgotten more than you know!"-You seem to be intellectually challenged
kevster
19-01-13, 09:07 PM
"On it like a tramp on chips"
"I'm in their like swim wear"
hahahaha @ the swim wear lol lol lol
"Sweating like a pedo in a playground"
"You've got a better chance pis.sing in the queens handbag"
"She's had more rides than the local train"
shes got a mouth like a bird cage , had a c*ck or two in it !!!!
Jeff16v
19-01-13, 09:56 PM
A favourite of mine
The last thing useful to come out of your mouth was your bosses c0ck
davie300zx
19-01-13, 10:10 PM
sex wi me doll ...its that good that after it
even the neighbours have a fag ..lol lol lol
nipples like a JCBs starter button lol
Southie
19-01-13, 10:22 PM
You talk that much shÃ*t you must brush your teeth with anusol.
brainsnova
19-01-13, 10:29 PM
Nice,good - reason darts night iPhone app random pitched phrase during the game
You talk that much shÃ*t you must brush your teeth with anusol.
lol
Saw it with my own ears!
Do you hear my looking at you?
As much use as a snooze button on a smoke alarm!
Your ma (mother) jokes, used in a derogatory fashion to cause insult.
Your ma can suck the chrome from a mini bumper!
You ma bangs like a garden gate in the wind!
Your ma's a mattress!
My da said your ma can ride like red rum!
i love you like a FAT KID loves cake lol
brainsnova
19-01-13, 10:44 PM
Remove these 2 Adidas and beat you
Rick Draper
19-01-13, 11:25 PM
"sweating like Michael Jackson in a Kindergarden"
"Like a new un"
"Alright kid"
therealnovaboy
20-01-13, 04:39 AM
It's all sh!ts and giggles till you giggle and sh!t.
womble sri
20-01-13, 09:01 AM
I'd use her sh1t for toothpaste
Pussy like an omelette over a washing line
ben doodar
20-01-13, 06:14 PM
When something doesn't fit properly
That's a ****ing bus ride out!!!
My mate whos an electrician came out with the best 1 ever when bodgeing something at a house he was working on
"O well **** it, ya can't see it from my house"
Same lad came out with this after some dick in the pub started being mouthy
"you best shut the **** up before I come over there and beat you with your own shoe"
your mouths making cheques your body cant cash!!! lol
another one my mate uses "shes a BOBFOC" (Body Of Baywatch, Face Of Crimewatch) lol
A young lad was trying to explain to an experienced "job dodger" why he'd not done anything during his shift.
After waffling for a a bit the experienced chap stopped him and said.....
"You can't pull wool over a sheeps eyes!
In there! Like swimwear! (i have no idea where it cam from, but it can be used in a variety of situations lol)
when in bed with a fat lass
'fart & give us a clue'
chrisd1986
20-01-13, 09:01 PM
take ur face for a ****
you must have be conceved by anal u ugly *******
millworm
20-01-13, 09:06 PM
Instead of saying goodbye
w*nks for coming
All the breast
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