DO I????

[Tilly]

well as some of u know i split from dave a month ago. weve been chatting as u do and ive decided he is the one for me.


I LOVE HIM TO BITS


so if im all of a sudden dazzzzzzzzy again u know why :lol:

[wisewood]

well i know how much you cared about him, and you were together for years n years but are you sure youre not confusing things.

it could be that you just miss him not being around as you got so used to him always being there.


if you are usre he is what makes you happy go for it, and good luck to ya - but make sure its right for you first, because i also know you had some really unhappy times too.

i've been in similar situations before and got back with the person only to find that a month or two later things are back to the way they were and you wonder why you bothered.



personally i wouldnt do it - put the past behind you etc.
but its up to you.

[Nova-Boy]

Go get him Tiger

[Ben (lurk75)]

Like i said the other day, it seems to be what you want, it wont hurt to try again, you will know pretty much instantly if you are making a mistake.

[Tilly]

But guys ive met are all twats. no-one has ever made me feel the way i do when i met dave

[Stuart]

Go for it hun, we are all here to catch/cheer you either way :)

i tried going back a couple of times, things were sort of ok but i personally felt the niggles from the first time were too much and walked away.

find a compromise between what yer brain and heart say.

good luck

/me hugs miss pinky

[Tilly]

thanks camb :oops:

some people will be there some won't. You know lots more than most lol cause peeps think they care but couldnt give a toss if ur having an up or down day

[mikeoxford]

follow your heart and dont let anyONE or anyTHING get in your way

[hotdogs_r_us]

follow your heart and dont let anyONE or anyTHING get in your way

Cudnt of put if better me self :wink:

[ade]

why did you split in the first place and have you split before. If youve split and got back together and then split again - you need to talk your issues through - pointless if yer gonna tie the knot in the long term only to get divorced - then get back together...

I have m8's who always break up and get back together over the silliest things - rather than stop and talk about it.

You need to identify what it was that caused you to split - if its coz you felt you didnt love him anymore but since splitting now love him again - then you dont actually love him at all - what you love is the company he brings (and possibly the intimacy)

Do you love him or are you IN love with him - big difference...

[wisewood]

well said Ade.

[Tilly]

this aint no silly romance of 3 months and saying " i love you" think after nearly 5 years its love.

theres no other person i want to be with, he makes me happy (except when hes away)

Yes weve had silly splits b4 but this was the final straw one ALL or Nothing



cheers mike i am gonna go with my heart

[wisewood]

Best of luck to ya Tilly.
Hope it all works out for ya.







but... 5 years is a very long time, and its easy to love someone, but not be in love with them after that time.
It could be that you miss his company more than you miss the relationship... a sort of comfort thing - you spent so long with him, even though not happy that now he's suddenly not there you are lonely.

Meeting new people is going to be difficult because you will comapre them instantly to Dave in every respect - glorifying Dave as you do so and painting an incorrect image of him in your head.

I know because I have done this myself.
Me and Kate are still really good mates since we split up almost three years ago - always have been good mates. BUT it took me a long time to stop looking for someone who was just like her, who compared in almost every respect - once you stop doing that, its much easier to find happiness.






That was a bit of a rant, not wanting to put you off - just trying to show that you may not be considering every aspect of it all. Its not that i dont like Dave or anything either - I do, met him at MK and he is sound.

[ade]

apologies Tilly - didnt mean to make any reference about "silly" breakups and yourself - 5 yrs is a long time.

Before I got married I went out with my now wife for almost 7 yrs - lived with each other for 5 of those.

If it feels right go for it - but you need to discuss with him what made you unhappy causing the straw to break the camels back...make sure he understands this too.

good luck - make or break time basically I guess...it sounds like its what you want anyay...

[Tilly]

no offence caused

[Breeny]

Would now be a good time for me to say all women are evil? :o

Tilly, do what your heart tells you to. Life is too short for regrets. Even if it messes up again... (although I'm sure it won't) your no worse off.

[Tilly]

my head has been messed about with to much lately by different things.


and no now is not a good time to say women are evil :lol:

[wisewood]

i suppose really if you gave it abnother go and it didnt work out - you've not ended up any worse of than you are now...
you just know that it didnt work.

if you dont try - you'll never know.

[Tilly]

we'll c im in no rush to do anything that makes mistakes

[?Marty?]

Do you miss the person, or the relationship? Think about it.

[Ben (lurk75)]

Not aimed at anyone in this conversation, just this is my favorite quote...

You can give without loving

BUT

You cant love without giving

My English Teacher in South Africa wrote it in a book they presented to me before i left to come back to England when i was 12, always think about it and try to prove it wrong- never have.

[Tilly]

im taking it step by step im in no rush.

[Mark]

Surely it's best for a longer relationship to truely get to know someone before actually getting it together?

[Tilly]

what are u on about

[Mark]

No idea - you?

[Tilly]

go away

[Mark]

O.k Thank you

[wisewood]

corsanova - thats complete jibberish mate.

for one thing Tilly and Dave know each other as well as is possible really - they have been together (on and off, mostly on) for 5 years (ish).

secondly, thats just not true - if you get to know someone that well before you ever get together, you miss out on all the fun getting to know you stuff at the start of a relationship :lol:

[Tilly]

and technically ud prob become good mates and then when mates get hooked up and it all falls through, u end up losing a friend

[wisewood]

yupp - she's right you know.

[Tilly]

:lol: of course i am

[Mark]

O.k. I get the point that I am wrong - I was trying to say that you have been togehter a while and therefore you must know each other very well by now and if you think you really LOVE him you have to be right so follow your heart and go for it.