Dating horror stories

[draper]

so, after a quite shocking bad 'date' last night i wondered if anyone else had any horror stories ??

my 'date' started so well aswell, she had an ice cold stella on the bar for me (in a chalice) bit of small talk, good kisser, stroking my ego :d just a shame she had hairy legs :eek: and i mean man hairy, i only brushed across her lower leg and could of used it to sand the rust on the nova down !!!

Needless to say i made my excuses and left sharpish

[mk1nova_rich]

ouch lol I met an Irish bird on holiday once, she had shaved the bottom of her legs, but not the tops :wtf: her skirt blew up on the beach and I pretended not to notice, let her finish sucking me off then said my goodbyes lol

[Jack]

After finishing the drink I assume? lol

I've had a few scares. One girl, after a particularly dull date, couldn't take a hint to get out of my car after I dropped her off. Must have sat outside her place for a good 15-20 (very awkward lol) mins. Dunno if she expected me to lean over and suck her face off or what. In the end I gave up on politeness and just told her to GTFO as I had places to be lol

[blue_peg_16v]

lol was her name alan

[draper]

After finishing the drink I assume? lol



c'mon what do you think jack - i was on my 3rd when i 'discoverd' - she was well up for a quickie aswell, actually told me so outright lol

[mowgli]

i've never had a 'bad' date, but whilst out with the missus have been accosted by some truly shocking things....deb has a habit of sneaking off to find a good view to watch the carnage...

[Jeff16v]

Dated a bird at college in south London, the dad had left when she was young and I felt quite sorry for her, got her under the covers and moved in to give her some attention and her privates had been shaven a few days earlier and had started to grow back, honestly I nearly vomited on her and opted for a handjob and left shortly after
Never to return again.

I won't mention the one with Exzema!

[christurboo]

looks like me and mowgli are the lucky ones, or you guys dont no how to spot a rotten rat.

[davidfox280585]

i once met a lass,she was ok looking not mint but boneable, took her back went down for the kill and she had shaved but missed a few hairs! was horrible never again i ignored her from then on

[swedge]

i once met a lass,she was ok looking not mint but boneable, took her back went down for the kill and she had shaved but missed a few hairs! was horrible never again i ignored her from then on


haha i woulda grabbed then like a driveshaft and pulled like feck

[nova_saloon]

never had horror stories, usually quite loverly bangable ones, i'd give them the ole in out.... in out... then say cheers and go :) now ive got a misses, impossible to get rid of

[mowgli]

It is possible, but you need to be screwed by a lawyer & a judge to do it...

[Hayley]

I had a date with a guy that spend half the evening telling me what drugs he was on and that he reckoned he had a split personality :wtf:

[mowgli]

Did he spend the other half explaining about his baby blue nova???

[Jack]

I had a date with a guy that spend half the evening telling me what drugs he was on and that he reckoned he had a split personality :wtf:
Aww but we make such a lovely couple lol

Actually our first date I remember stuffing my face with meat lol

[brownbear]

I remember my first "internet date" the picture was as old as the age of the person stated on the profile.... I walked away rather quick! lol

[Yorkie]

Some of you lot are very shallow! But im finding the storys quite funny :)

[mowgli]

aww but we make such a lovely couple lol

actually our first date i remember stuffing my face with meat lol

i'd imagine you were hoping it was the other way round.....

[Jeff16v]

i'd imagine you were hoping it was the other way round.....
lmfao

[Benn]

I remember my first "internet date" the picture was as old as the age of the person stated on the profile.... I walked away rather quick! lol

Ah snap. But i stayed for a drink, then soon found out she was mental!

[Mike]

Never really done the whole dating thing TBH, met all manner of people but the ones I end up with I just met randomly :S

[Spudly]

Whats a 'date' :cry:

[Jack]

i'd imagine you were hoping it was the other way round.....
Tut, give me some credit. I usually wait til after the first date to spring forth "the love sausage" lmfao lol

[mk1nova_rich]

a small shrivelled up fruit

[Mike]

a small shrivelled up fruit

Raisin?

I do love a good guessing game :D

[mk1nova_rich]

Eh lol it was a response to Spud's question :p

[Southie]

a small shrivelled up fruit

Poor Spud, and I thought he preferred plums lol

[Iain]

Eh lol it was a response to Spud's question :p

I thought it was meant to be a description of Jacks manhood lol

[Lee]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(

[MK999]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(

I know the title said horror stories, but I wasn't expecting that. Also I know now a small detail about what Lee's penis looks like, which is a bit wrong.

[witwicky]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(

And why did she do that? inexperiance or spite?

[witwicky]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(

And why did she do that? inexperiance or spite?

[Tanya.]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(


Eek, sounds painful! :eek:

[Bubba]

hmm dates....dates....hmmm im stuck for even remembering my last one

[draper]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(

i have it on good authority, from a few sources that is the worse pain EVAAARRRR

my ex once caught my banjo string between her teeth, she tried to move and i followed her about the bedroom more than when i first tried to pull her !!

[davidfox280585]

when i was a youth! me and a friend was out late and met two girls,they were ok but not marriage material, anyway went back to theres and i was boning one on the sofa while my friend was being sucked off by the other,
well i finished and i looked over at him (same room obviously so these were classy girls) anyway he cum in her mouth and all i remember was her chasing him round the room as he pulled his knob from her mouth she was screaming 'come here i havent finished with you yet' obviously i laughed hysterically at this point, the two girls then went in the kitchen and we did one out the front window laughing!.
wish i was that young again

[Jim]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(
I hope Stuart apologised? ;)

[Jeff16v]

I was seeing a girl many years ago who, upon commencing fellatio in my car for the first time, literally tore the skin from my gentleman sausage with her teeth. I actually nearly cried, and I still have a scar :(

This is the problem with getting a nosh off sergar!!! sicko.....