View Full Version : The worst joke in the world.
novakid20
14-06-11, 09:45 PM
Mummy daddy baby balloon. Baby balloon always sleeps in beside mummy and daddy. One day daddy says to baby balloon you sleep in your own bed to night baby not happy with the finally agrees. That night baby balloon sneaks in to mummy and daddy’s room and tries to get between them. Baby balloon dose not manage so baby goes round to daddy’s side undoes is knot and lets some air out. Baby tries to get between then but no joy. So baby goes round to mummy’s side and lets some air out of her. So baby wiggles and wriggles and still no joy so baby unties her own knot and let some air out. Baby tries again and fits right between them. In the morning baby gets out and mummy and daddy are sitting down stairs daddy not look to happy. Baby says don’t be mad at me I was really cold in the night. Daddy says baby we are not mad at u just disappointed because not only have u let me down you let you mum down and most of all u let your self down. lol :wtf:
Southie
14-06-11, 10:04 PM
That's an old one lol Here's another:
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger.
* * * * * * * *
His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues.
* * * * * * * *
"Johnny!" Mummy screams. "Knock it off." You're going to break something. He stops and eventually Mum leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
* * * * * * * *
Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mum has left for the store... He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.
* * * * * * * *
Mum comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge - A diarrhoea run.
* * * * * * * *
She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
* * * * * * * *
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
* * * * * * * *
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP!
* * * * * * * *
The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
* * * * * * * *
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
* * * * * * * *
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart!"
Sorry for it being so long winded guys/gals :d
paul james
14-06-11, 10:05 PM
Made me laugh
novakid20
14-06-11, 10:07 PM
Dont no if i should laugh or cry at this one.
Good one anyway.
Asa-James
14-06-11, 10:36 PM
They are awful. Rep to you both
Edit, must spread to rep southie again. I owe you one rep :)
paul james
14-06-11, 10:43 PM
I was told this joke today in work:
A guy approaches a girl in a bar and says, I want to treat you like I did my big toe... bang you against my coffee table.
brownbear
14-06-11, 10:49 PM
I was told this joke today in work:
A guy approaches a girl in a bar and says, I want to treat you like I did my big toe... bang you ON my coffee table.
:thumb: :thumb: Don't spoil the punchline. lol
what is grey & comes in pints???
elephants
novakid20
15-06-11, 12:52 PM
Stuttering
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says
A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.
'It sure was,' said the little girl.
'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,"
but before she could say 'F**K-off !,' the Rottweiler ate her!
ben doodar
16-06-11, 02:28 PM
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrhhh
RossRog
16-06-11, 02:31 PM
what did the magic tractor turn into?
a field....
ben doodar
16-06-11, 02:42 PM
What's a sheeps favourite chocolate?
A mars BAAA
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrhhh
You can go for days with that one
What land transport do pirates use?
Carrrrs
What kinda cars do they drive?
Novarrrrs
etc
duck walks into a bar and asks the barman for some bread
the barman says i havent got any bread can i get you anything else
So again the duck asks, no i just want some bread
the barman repeats, i havent got any bread
the duck replies again, are you sure you havent got any bread
the barman is getting angry now and says, if you ask me for some bread again im going to nail you to this bar!
so the duck asks, have you got any nails?
the barman replies, no i havent
so the duck asks, have you got any bread?
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea!
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea!
Still no idea lol I've never heard that one :(
Roses are red violets are blue, some poems rhyme, this one doesn't.
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea!
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea!
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs or penis?
still no f**king idea!
Southie
16-06-11, 07:36 PM
Why do elephants paint their toenails red... so they can hide in cherry trees...
... ever seen an elephant in a tree...
... then it shows how good their disguise is :tumble:
A woman puts an 18+ lonely hearts advert in a magazine wanting to be ravaged by a well built bloke, gets a few replies and arranges to meet one in a hotel nearby, she is in the room and ready when the doorbell goes, she runs to the door and opens it, and there on the floor is a man with no arms and no legs, disappointed she looks down at him and says 'what bloody use are you to me?'
The armless/legless bloke then replies with a wink and says 'i rang the bell didnt i'
lol
brownbear
16-06-11, 07:40 PM
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him?
Get bent!
Southie
16-06-11, 08:30 PM
what did the magic tractor turn into?
a field...full of Novas
Edited lol
TeddyThom
17-06-11, 03:37 PM
Two blondes walked into a bar...
You'd have thought the first one saw it...
LiquidPug
17-06-11, 09:13 PM
Two fish in a tank...........
......one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"
When I read "worse joke in the world" I thought, yeah ! I have a good one but come to think about it I enjoy being on this forum LOL
i walked into the doctors, i knocked both of them over....
Jim Mcrae
18-06-11, 08:33 AM
What did Mozart do when he died?
He decomposed
What do you get when you push a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat miner
windfreek
18-06-11, 09:04 AM
The other day my friend was in the job centre and he saw advertised a posistion with on the job training,
i said, "oh training, sounds like a skilled job"
"nah its litter collection, you pick it up as you go along"
windfreek
19-06-11, 11:25 PM
i heard this one today
So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!
What would men do without women?
Probably just train another animal.
ill get my coat...
TeddyThom
22-06-11, 11:09 PM
'The irony of a blowjob... Although you've got the woman kneeling at your feet, they've still got you by your balls...'
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