View Full Version : just waiting for the call.
Its been a sad week at work, the last 3 years i have been working alongside a chap in his late 70's, horse of a man for his age with a great zest for life in general. During that time he has been an inspiration even if he has driven me potty at times. Told me sooo many stories from his life and generally become a very close and dear friend. The last 6-12 months he has had a hard time with his missus having a few operations hands and feet with a few scares along the way. Within the work place has been difficult also, for reasons out of our control, so, although i showed my respect by treating him as any other person (much accepted) this last 12mths i have really watched his back and tried to be there as much as possible when needed.
6 weeks ago he had one of those niggling coughs which we all hate. Last tues i went to his house to check he was ok as he had been off for 2 weeks (unheard of) he seemed ok considering and appreciated the visit etc. That fri the doc called an ambulance and it was to be that he had pneumonia.
He was stable that weekend, but when i took his wife down on monday to visit him what i found was someone who was very ill, i have never been in this situation before so it was a shock. we spent the visiting time with him and as we left his wife said he had gone down hill abit. Since then he has fallen off a cliff health wise what with kidneys giving up and being on life support since tuesday. They tried to revive him yesterday for nine hours whilst off the machine but couldnt and an underlying problem has been found to be cancer of the liver ontop of everything else.
So the writing is on the wall and its just a matter of time until the family make the decision noone ever wants and flick the switch one last time.
In the 35 years i have been on this planet i have NEVER been to see anyone ill in hospital, let alone witness a person deteriorate quite so suddenly, christ i have only been to 2 funerals for distant relatives. Its properly struck me quite hard, which has been a suprise but i suppose its one of those things in life we must all learn to cope with as the older we get the more common this kind of thing will become.
Apologies for the babble, but i had to vent abit and what not a better place :)
dan, unfortunately as you get a bit older, this sort of thing will happen to more people you know. just stand back & remember the good times, and try not to dwell on the bad times. he's probably been shrugging his health off as age for years, and has just got on with things..
i personally worry for the people who don't get upset when these sort of things happen. he sounds like he was a good man.
Thats really sad.
Its also a timely reminder to those who take their health for granted,lets admit it,we all do sometimes.
Its been a sad week at work, the last 3 years i have been working alongside a chap in his late 70's, horse of a man for his age with a great zest for life in general. During that time he has been an inspiration even if he has driven me potty at times. Told me sooo many stories from his life and generally become a very close and dear friend. The last 6-12 months he has had a hard time with his missus having a few operations hands and feet with a few scares along the way. Within the work place has been difficult also, for reasons out of our control, so, although i showed my respect by treating him as any other person (much accepted) this last 12mths i have really watched his back and tried to be there as much as possible when needed.
6 weeks ago he had one of those niggling coughs which we all hate. Last tues i went to his house to check he was ok as he had been off for 2 weeks (unheard of) he seemed ok considering and appreciated the visit etc. That fri the doc called an ambulance and it was to be that he had pneumonia.
He was stable that weekend, but when i took his wife down on monday to visit him what i found was someone who was very ill, i have never been in this situation before so it was a shock. we spent the visiting time with him and as we left his wife said he had gone down hill abit. Since then he has fallen off a cliff health wise what with kidneys giving up and being on life support since tuesday. They tried to revive him yesterday for nine hours whilst off the machine but couldnt and an underlying problem has been found to be cancer of the liver ontop of everything else.
So the writing is on the wall and its just a matter of time until the family make the decision noone ever wants and flick the switch one last time.
In the 35 years i have been on this planet i have NEVER been to see anyone ill in hospital, let alone witness a person deteriorate quite so suddenly, christ i have only been to 2 funerals for distant relatives. Its properly struck me quite hard, which has been a suprise but i suppose its one of those things in life we must all learn to cope with as the older we get the more common this kind of thing will become.
Apologies for the babble, but i had to vent abit and what not a better place :)
It's very sad..
I'm in the same position today as it happens..
I'm at work but waiting for the call to say that my Aunt (Dad's sister) has died..
She is 80 years old and has cancer..
I visited her in hospital on Friday afternoon but she didn't know I was there (drugs)..
I said I would be back to visit on Monday but knew that it was probably 'Goodbye' when I left her that afternoon..
It's a shock no matter what age you are to see someone in that state as you prefer to remember the happy/healthy/younger days..
My Dad and his other sister were summoned to the hospital this morning, so it's just a matter of hours I guess..
Like I said, it is terribly sad and as you get older, you kind of get used to bad news/funerals, etc...
My parents seem to spend a lot of time at funerals...
Part of growing up/older :(
Saloony
14-05-11, 12:36 PM
Its never easy fella. More so when you see someone full of heart and strenght to have the carpet pulled out from underneath them. You deal with it how you see fit, no one can tell you how too. But one thing with any illness, those connected to it or them suffering from it just want some sort of normality so talking broken biscuits to be distracted from the subject is brilliant. When my sis passed away aged 13 in 2003, i was 18 never dealt with death or the illness that caused it. But you just deal with it, get on with life. Live or jump in the box with them. Its a harsh reality.
Sorry to hear that Dan. Sad times.
When the time comes you have the stories and the memories :thumb:
Cheers guys, i was pretty low this morning when i wrote that. I still am tbh but i got a call earlier and he passed away at 19.20 so atleast he is at peace now.
In the grand scheme of things the best thing possible and quick, the way he would of wanted.
Cheers guys, i was pretty low this morning when i wrote that. I still am tbh but i got a call earlier and he passed away at 19.20 so atleast he is at peace now.
In the grand scheme of things the best thing possible and quick, the way he would of wanted.
Sorry to hear that, mate...
Its never a good time to hear of someones passing, but as you say better to go sooner rather than linger,
sadly we all reach a point when life stops giving us things and
starts to take them away.
sorry for the loss of your friend.
Royston
14-05-11, 09:40 PM
Sad news Dan, unfortunately it's the way life (or death) is.
Chin up fella
Sad news Dan, been in the same posisiton myself a couple of times this year with young and older friends and family not a nice thing.
dan, sorry to hear that. just give him the send off he deserves, and remember only the good times.
Sorry to hear your bad news Dan. I hope that you're feeling a little better now, knowing he is at peace.
When somebody dies it makes you realise how precious and brief our stay here really is, and suddenly some things just aren't important anymore.
Sorry to hear your bad news Dan. I hope that you're feeling a little better now, knowing he is at peace.
When somebody dies it makes you realise how precious and brief our stay here really is, and suddenly some things just aren't important anymore.
this. :)
Man hugs for you mate.
It must be rather hard for you if youve never been near/experienced this kinda thing :( and its not nice to say eventually you get used to it.... I guess I'm a bit of a cold git on this level due to being chucked right in at the deep end and only really having got out properly 12 years later :( :)
Time does heal but dont look for the solution as it appears to come from odd places that you wont spot.
tommy8252
14-05-11, 11:02 PM
Reading that very nearly had me in tears. (Bit girly I know but true). It sounds like you got very close to him and you were there for him when he couldn't shrug it off any longer, my condolences and as has already been send give him a proper send off and remember the good times. Nothing and noone can take that away.
RIP Herbie. Last time I saw him he had more energy than me. Thoughts are with his family, and you.
I remember going to see my grandad before he passed away. Don't think i've ever cried that much in my life. part of me wishes I never saw him in that state.
I remember going to see my grandad before he passed away. Don't think i've ever cried that much in my life. part of me wishes I never saw him in that state.
Similar for me, mixed emotions though really, most vivid memories I have of my Grandad are a frail and dangerously underweight man shrugging off his flatulence as just that, and laughing/smiling about it lol... when it was a symptom of something much worse :( but while taking his Grandson fishing one last time :)
I remember you speaking very highly of him Dan, sorry to hear he's passed :(
Life is a cruel game pal my great auntie was the same she was in good health and she caught pneumonia and died within the week.
Jesus, that had me in a state reading it.
i guess the hardest thing will be going back to work and not having him there for the banter and discussions.
sounds like a top bloke and working past 70, not many people would do that these days.
Mk999 - what you describe sounds like my grandad now, frail old skinny man, one lung, cataract in both eyes, and he battles on like nothing is happening.
NOV4_SPORT
15-05-11, 09:05 AM
Sad times, iam sorry to hear about your loss matey, just try and keep a hold of the good times and the stories he told you.
iain
Jeff16v
16-05-11, 03:30 PM
Sad news Dan, far worse watching people go than hearing they went all of a sudden. Watching them makes us think of our time to come.
Sounds like you have a huge amount to remember him by and smile at:thumb:
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