The best excuse for a day off ever.

[brownbear]

I'm sorry I can't come in today. My anatidaephobia is really playing up. I'm scared to leave the house. lol lol lol

[Tanya.]

lol +rep

On a slightly different note I wonder if it's possible to suffer from vestiphobia (fear of clothing) and gymnophobia (fear of being naked/nudity) both at once...that could be quite amusing (although not for the person i'm sure lol)

[brownbear]

You've got to see a quack about it!

[Stuart]

:mf:

[brownbear]

:mf:

I speak several languages including English. My fravourite being condecending.
You seem to struggle with big words. It's ok though. You've got baby books, self education is on the way! Tell you what hunnie bunny. Pop the big long complex words in google and just darn hit that search button. Because, and trust me in this. Nobody does sarcasm quite like me. (if you've seen Scrubs that shouldn't offend) lol

[Stuart]

cba to google :p you are the team bitch now so work for me lol

[VnoNovaD]

Best excuse for a day off so far:

An aeroplane part fell out of the sky and through my roof.

It didnt, of course. But they bought it.

Creative and bizzare is the key.

[Jack]

"I can't come in, I'm in Switzerland" was my favourite as used by a bloke in our office lol *


vestiphobia (fear of clothing)
Hmm. I wonder if I can do some hollywood science-lab montage and merge that with a virus and infect every woman ...in the world

Mind you, why is the fear of nudity gymnophobia - I've only ever seen nakie gyms in pr0n flicks lol




* Obviously this wouldn't work if you lived and worked in switzerland

[mowgli]

tom, you'd better not visit the petting zoo at the nats day..............

[Stuart]

tom, you'd better not visit the petting zoo at the nats day..............


Baxters tent?

[Andy]

My best ever excuses include....
"think ive caught the clap so gotta go get tested straightaway,only open in work hours"

"My alarm didnt go off this morning,but then again,it wouldnt,as the electric ran out in the middle of the night sooooooo..i had slept till 4pm......lol"

"Picked my daughter up from nursery yesterday,as loads of kids and staff got sent home due to sickness and diarrhea bug.Happen i best not come in today as ive been spewing in the sink while going through the eye of a needle all night."

I can go on lol

[mowgli]

Baxters tent?

THERE ARE DUCKS

[Southie]

A list of useful phobias for future reference :d

• Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing

• Aerophobia- Fear of swallowing air

• Anablephobia- Fear of looking up

• Anemophobia- Fear of wind

• Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers

• Auroraphobia- Fear of Northern Lights

• Barophobia- Fear of gravity

• Basophobia- Fear of walking

• Blennophobia- Fear of slime

• Bogyphobia- Fear of the bogeyman

• Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting

• Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors

• Chaetophobia- Fear of hair

• Chionophobia- Fear of snow

• Chromatophobia- Fear of colors

• Chronophobia- Fear of time

• Chronomentrophobia- Fear of clocks

• Cibophobia- Fear of food

• Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed

• Dendrophobia- Fear of trees

• Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body

• Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom

• Eosophobia- Fear of daylight

• Ereuthophobia- Fear of the color red

• Geliophobia- Fear of laughter

• Geniophobia- Fear of chins

• Genuphobia- Fear of knees

• Geumaphobia- Fear of taste

• Heliophobia- Fear of the sun

• Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words

• Homichlophobia- Fear of fog

• Hypnophobia- Fear of sleep

• Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish

• Ideophobia- Fear of ideas

• Kainophobia- Fear of anything new

• Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down

• Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables

• Leukophobia- Fear of the color white

• Levophobia- Fear of objects to the left side of the body

• Linonophobia- Fear of string

• Logophobia- Fear of words

• Melanophobia- Fear of the color black

• Melophobia- Fear of music

• Metrophobia- Fear of poetry

• Mnemophobia- Fear of memories

• Octophobia- Fear of the number 8

• Ommetaphobia- Fear of eyes

• Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams

• Ophthalmophobia- Fear of opening one’s eyes

• Ostraconophobia- Fear of shellfish

• Panophobia- Fear of everything

• Papyrophobia- Fear of paper

• Peladophobia- Fear of bald people

• Photophobia- Fear of light

• Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking

• Pogonophobia- Fear of beards

• Sciophobia- Fear of shadows

• Selenophobia- Fear of the moon

• Siderophobia- Fear of stars

• Sitophobia- Fear of food

• Sophophobia- Fear of learning

• Stasibasiphobia- Fear of walking

• Trichopathophobia- Fear of hair

[Tanya.]

This would be a good excuse surely lol

Ergophobia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ergophobia): If you miss a day at the office, you could try telling your boss that you’ve suddenly developed ergophobia, or the fear of work and/or functioning.

[wwmnw]

I speak several languages including English. My fravourite being condecending.
You seem to struggle with big words. It's ok though. You've got baby books, self education is on the way! Tell you what hunnie bunny. Pop the big long complex words in google and just darn hit that search button. Because, and trust me in this. Nobody does sarcasm quite like me. (if you've seen Scrubs that shouldn't offend) lol

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to brownbear again. :(

The best excuse I've used is.

Me: I'm not going to be able to make it into work, I've been to pick a car up with a mate, I'm just outside of Yorkshire and the head gasket popped.

Boss: Well you should have left earlier.

Me: I left at 8am.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeBJ8ZSuKdTFdK_9vhRgsVVk1MGFn4f 1cdgv0qen15MwC28gct2Q

[Hobbit]

I always make it in to work. Even when i wrote my 1.2 off on the way in, I called up and said I was a bit shaken up and didn't fancy driving a 44 tonne truck all night. my boss just told me he couldn't cover it and i had to come in :tard:

[Jack]

If I'm sick, I make a point of coming into work. If I feel like sh!t, everyone else can catch it too. I like to share :)

Heck, even when I had cancer the docs told me I wasn't supposed to mingle with people in case I caught a bug (no immune system + bug = dead) but still went to the office christmas party and even the PNG karting at milton keynes lol

[draper]

once had to phone my manager and explain id be late for a night shift as i was on the M6

normally its "im wont be in today/tonight/tomorrow, im far to drunk"

oncetold a boss i couldnt come in because i was sick, when asked how sick i was i told him i was in bed with my gran and hung up


my last written warning was for going o a 3day seesion and not showing up for work or ringing in, when asked where iwas in my back to work interview (and discipliary) i casually replied i was in the pub and didnt have a phomne charger handy



perhaps now i can see why im not liked at work and refused a payrise lol

[Trendall]

you forgot gynophobia fear of women.

[grooge]

phoned in sick once and told the boss my car had broken down in birmingham on the way home from a weekend away. i was actually at glasgow airport walking between the terminal and the plane about to fly down birmingham to pick up a nova lol

[NOVA_LEE]

i pulled a sickey from work one time for a hot tub party an didnt even ring in, the next day i was in wales with all the lads moochin about in our cars an some number rang me an as i was driving i got me mate to answer an he said "hes driving atm" an then followed by "his mate", i was like oh funk.

ended up getting the sack in the end. but i got to tell the managers what i though, look on there faces was pricesless haha

people say dont burn ya bridges an i completly napalmed mine haha

[flyin flea]

Call the boss and say "Whats the difference between this morning and your daughter?". When he cant give you an answer you say "Im not coming in this morning."

[Lewis.]

I'vge always been rubbish at excuses, so I just ring up and proceed to tell them in graphic detail about the explosive diarrhoea and projectile vomit I'm suffering from. It doesn't take long for them to just say yeah dont come in kthnxbai lol


Call the boss and say "Whats the difference between this morning and your daughter?". When he cant give you an answer you say "Im not coming in this morning."

LMFAO lol lol have some green :thumb:

[Bubba]

the electric going in the middle of the night is a winner for being late :D

[Stuart]

I've only called in 'sick' once and that was when I joined in the sunday drinking rather than driving home from seeing the gf of the time etc. Called up monday morning to tell them they simply didnt pay me enough to get me in after the great weekend I had had. Got in on tuesday to no bollocking but a thanks... for once someone told them the truth and they liked it lol. It also helped that I was more productive in that factory than 3 people (according to their charts)

[General Baxter]

Baxters tent?

i had a giant peacock try and get in mine, must be my big flower ass