Zombie Apocalypse Preparation

[L14MNP]

An object to the left of you is now your only weapon to fight off zombies.
How would you fair?

I have a rubberised torch or I could tear the blinds down! :wtf: lol

Suppose I could distract them with the light and/or show them the cool husky head depicted on the side. Either that or close the blinds and cross my fingers.


How about you fine people?

[Pistol Pete]

A 5 foot uplighter. lol Still plugged in.

[General Baxter]

ha id be fine,

i have guns, swords, daggers, some spike dagger thingy,

[L14MNP]

A 5 foot uplighter. lol Still plugged in.
Nice. Pull the cable from the fixture and attack with 230v AC then or swing it like a banshee in a wannabe Luke Skywalker style? I know which way I would wanna go out. lol

[General Baxter]

id be ****ed if i had to load the shotgun, run get the keys, unlock the shotgun, run get some more keys, into another room, unlock the ammo, lol

[Mike]

Thats me ****ed then :S I have a mobile phone & half drunken mug of Dr Pepper lol further to the left I has xbox & TV though? Could like play Forza?

[L14MNP]

ha id be fine,

i have guns, swords, daggers, some spike dagger thingy,
Out of that impressive arsenal I would take the swords mate. You'll be looking pretty sick when your BB batteries run down. I wouldn't count on them doing any damage either.

Decapitation. Now you're talking (but they won't be)!

[Jack]

Erm. Advent calendar? lol

I do have a large demijohn to my left leg though, that could come in handy.

Plus a couple of empty Tribute bottles for the double tap :)

[General Baxter]

Out of that impressive arsenal I would take the swords mate. You'll be looking pretty sick when your BB batteries run down. I wouldn't count on them doing any damage either.

Decapitation. Now you're talking (but they won't be)!

i do have propper 12gauges, .022 and 9mm lol

[L14MNP]

Thats me ****ed then :S I have a mobile phone & half drunken mug of Dr Pepper lol further to the left I has xbox & TV though? Could like play Forza?

Shame that's not a PS3 Mike. Stick GT5 on and they would lose all interest - in anything. Even if they weren't playing.

[Mike]

i do have propper 12gauges, .022 and 9mm lol

LOL my .22 is for some reason in the bathroom at my rents :S

[NovaLad]

Door

[Mike]

Shame that's not a PS3 Mike. Stick GT5 on and they would lose all interest - in anything. Even if they weren't playing.

Nah I reckon zombies would probably like a bit of Forza multiplayer? And when there not looking (if zombies actually do look anyway, never really met one TBH) id ****ing unplug there controller :)

[General Baxter]

LOL my .22 is for some reason in the bathroom at my rents :S

no mike not a pellet gun lol

[Mazz]

A stack of blank dvd's - suppose i could frizbe them ala Odd Job!

50 seconds in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHvEkBqbGyQ

http://blog.newsarama.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10006/oddjob.jpg

[L14MNP]

I forget, I'm online.

A quick Youtube for Queen, Don't stop me now would have them fretting.
Enough time for me to break the window, slide gracefully down the roof and peg it to the car.

[Mike]

no mike not a pellet gun lol

Its not a pellet gun you tit lol, its rifle lol 12x sight, surpressor & all that cack. My dads collection is downstairs :( thus not to my left :(

[L14MNP]

Two 12 bores here too, but the gun cabinet is not in this room.

I favour running like a girl. Then finding the toughest vehicle I can and mowing some down. :)

[mk1nova_rich]

i also have an uplighter, a can of furniture polish and two small coffee tables

[L14MNP]

i also have an uplighter, a can of furniture polish and two small coffee tables

Awesome potential flame thrower there, or maybe a glass bomb if you had the skills. lol

[Mike]

Why does everyone have really useful cool stuff next to there PC's incase zombies attack!!

Id have to throw car keys & petrol reciepts at them!! Not impressed :(

[Hoochie]

I have Sturge sitting to my immediate left.....so thats me buggered....but just past him is the sky+ remote control........will that save me??:)

[L14MNP]

Why does everyone have really useful cool stuff next to there PC's incase zombies attack!!

Id have to throw car keys & petrol reciepts at them!! Not impressed :(

Just hand yourself over to be eaten Mike. May as well. Relinquishing the keys to a form of escape is as good as suicide! lol

If you had been buying V Power from the motorwat services they may be shocked. Could be enough to quickly slip away.

[Mike]

I have Sturge sitting to my immediate left.....so thats me buggered....but just past him is the sky+ remote control........will that save me??:)

Jeremy Kyle to the rescue!

[L14MNP]

I have Sturge sitting to my immediate left.....so thats me buggered....but just past him is the sky+ remote control........will that save me??:)
Depends how meaty he is and how much you love him.

Survival is the aim here (IMO). lol

[Mike]

Just hand yourself over to be eaten Mike. May as well. Relinquishing the keys to a form of escape is as good as suicide! lol

If you had been buying V Power from the motorwat services they may be shocked. Could be enough to quickly slip away.

Good point, not really enjoying this being eaten melarky (unless it was by a group of fit lesbian zombies, that could be interesting, but highly doubtful)

Altho to my right is a window where I could jump out onto the roof of the silver corsa, combat roll across the bonnet (you gotta really in zombie situations havent you) an drive off to the Winchester for an ice cold pint :cool:

Hows that for a slice of fried gold!

[L14MNP]

;) Perfick!

[Jonlem]

I have about 300 crap records here which I recently sorted and put them in a "zombie killing "pile lol

[Mike]

;) Perfick!

Just gotta go pee lol lol lol


I have about 300 crap records here which I recently sorted and put them in a "zombie killing "pile lol

Is one of them Shadé by any remote chance? And is your missus called Liz? That would be an epic coincidence!!!

[L14MNP]

Nice Jonlem. gotta have a laugh, even if you're about to kick the bucket. The Batman sondtrack? "Throw it" :(

BTW I think I would be safe now, and out of the infected areas, as no-one else has hit the road bar Mike, and he went for a pint. lol

I'd tool up and come back. :d

[Hoochie]

Depends how meaty he is and how much you love him.

Survival is the aim here (IMO). lol

The zombies wouldn't get much off him but i suppose by the time they realise he's a skinny runt i'd be offski!!...:d

[Mike]

Diversion is the best way to escape :) or maybe I watch to much films :/

[L14MNP]

The zombies wouldn't get much off him but i suppose by the time they realise he's a skinny runt i'd be offski!!...:d

lol So there's the love part out of the window. This one's a survivor!

If you could/had time I would encourage him to wear more layers, tell him it's for protection but really it's to keep teh z's occupied longer as they think they've scored a proper pie eater.

[Mike]

lol So there's the love part out of the window. This one's a survivor!

If you could/had time I would encourage him to wear more layers, tell him it's for protection but really it's to keep teh z's occupied longer as they think they've scored a proper pie eater.

Dont say the Z word :tard: its ridiculous lol

[bmw156]

i have a desk full of crap.
could wrap one in exhaust wrap (must wet first)
a steel rule - beating tool.
a jesus phone. he must be able to help me out surly...

[L14MNP]

Diversion is the best way to escape :) or maybe I watch to much films :/

Handy if you have a small child or tow to sacrifice for the good of the mission. No point bringing them along anyway. They just get sick (see the luittle tw@t on Fallout New Vegas) and/or eat all the food and slow you down.

[Mike]

^ good point. **** the kids who needs them anyway. Could be handy for live bait though? Or put them into a catapult for proper bo zombie aid package air drop?

[L14MNP]

i have a desk full of crap.
could wrap one in exhaust wrap (must wet first)
a steel rule - beating tool.
a jesus phone. he must be able to help me out surly...

Don't wet the wrap. Then it will make them all itchy any annoyed. lol

Mike, who died and made you king of the fcuking zombies?! lol

[Tanya.]

I have the choice of a bottle of Pepsi, a bottle of Koppaberg, a couple of boxes, a giraffe statue or some teddies :tard: Don't think i'd last to long lol

[Mike]

Mike, who died and made you king of the fcuking zombies?! lol

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ******* I was waiting for the right oppurtunity to say that lol lol lol

[L14MNP]

^ good point. **** the kids who needs them anyway. Could be handy for live bait though? Or put them into a catapult for proper bo zombie aid package air drop?

I like your style. No air drops in my area though. The government can't cope atm. So it's fend for yourself time.

Tie a small child to the front of the armoured Sprinter I have acquired from the local Securicor depot and have had a little time to improve a tad A-Team style, then when they all sniff the bairn out I could appear with the gatling gun taken from the army base and cut them all down whilst shouting cool Hollywood phrases.
Cigar optional.

[Sturge]

lol So there's the love part out of the window. This one's a survivor!

If you could/had time I would encourage him to wear more layers, tell him it's for protection but really it's to keep teh z's occupied longer as they think they've scored a proper pie eater.

There was a time (up until about 5 mins ago) when I would've grabbed the sky remote and beaten them back as long as I could. But now I'd opt for just turning sideways. They'd miss me completely and go straight past to get to the one stuffing her face with chocolates beside me, leaving the door clear for my escape :d

[Mike]

Cigar is a must IMO along with some rayban aviators & 70s Nam music blaring out (beach boys, talking about my generation. Personal choice for that situation).

Liking the Securicor vibe though, not a bad idea hactually.

[MK999]

Um, I've got a wall?

[Mike]

Um, I've got a wall?

No random matrix style doors?

You sir, are fcuked.

[Tanya.]

Um, I've got a wall?

Well i'm glad i'm not the only one screwed lol

[L14MNP]

I have the choice of a bottle of Pepsi, a bottle of Koppaberg, a couple of boxes, a giraffe statue or some teddies :tard: Don't think i'd last to long lol

Assuming the giraffe is a cheapo one, you could smash it and gather the resulting powder, pour into the Pepsi bottle and make a type of Coke/Mentos bomb perhaps?

This will scatter the crowd and allow you to flee to the cupboard with the teddies. Where you could tear away strips of material from your clothes and attach to the teddies, making them appear to walk. The zombies would be captivated by this and make a grap for the teddies, you then bool them down the stairs or out of the door and make your escape drinking the Koppaberg?

[Mike]

Assuming the giraffe is a cheapo one, you could smash it and gather the resulting powder, pour into the Pepsi bottle and make a type of Coke/Mentos bomb perhaps?

This will scatter the crowd and allow you to flee to the cupboard with the teddies. Where you could tear away strips of material from your clothes and attach to the teddies, making them appear to walk. The zombies would be captivated by this and make a grap for the teddies, you then bool them down the stairs or out of the door and make your escape drinking the Koppaberg?

Thats the **** right there lol lol lol

"whilst shouting "yer fcuking dickheads" in a Devvo type voice"

Ultimate get away right there IMO.

[L14MNP]

No random matrix style doors?

You sir, are fcuked.

If he had any survival instinct he would try and break through IMO. lol

Don't say it's a stud wall! :roll:

[General Baxter]

id be ok, iv got a petrol grinder, and cutting rotting flesh will go easy on the disk lol

[burgo]

i have a pregged tanya next to me, :/ i'm dead then

[Tanya.]

Assuming the giraffe is a cheapo one, you could smash it and gather the resulting powder, pour into the Pepsi bottle and make a type of Coke/Mentos bomb perhaps?

This will scatter the crowd and allow you to flee to the cupboard with the teddies. Where you could tear away strips of material from your clothes and attach to the teddies, making them appear to walk. The zombies would be captivated by this and make a grap for the teddies, you then bool them down the stairs or out of the door and make your escape drinking the Koppaberg?

Well thats better then my plan...I was just going with hoping they liked Koppaberg and teddies and offering them that in return for my safety lol

[L14MNP]

Cigar is a must IMO along with some rayban aviators & 70s Nam music blaring out (beach boys, talking about my generation. Personal choice for that situation).

Liking the Securicor vibe though, not a bad idea hactually.

RATM, Take the power back for me. and if I only had one disc or a few tracks the others would be Bjork it's all so quiet and Perfect Day. :d

[Tanya.]

i have a pregged tanya next to me, :/ i'm dead then

How rude...I'd attempt to save you. Not anymore though!

[Mike]

Well thats better then my plan...I was just going with hoping they liked Koppaberg and teddies and offering them that in return for my safety lol

I reckon theyd probably prefer Rich Tea & Earl grey myself. Kinda get that vibe from most z's actually?

[MK999]

If he had any survival instinct he would try and break through IMO. lol

Don't say it's a stud wall! :roll:

Proper brick :( Although I have reason to believe the cute blonde next door is behind it lol

[L14MNP]

i have a pregged tanya next to me, :/ i'm dead then

I won't accept that. I'm assuming you're staying loyal, which is good. Make something? I know you like to do that. lol

[Mike]

RATM, Take the power back for me. and if I only had one disc or a few tracks the others would be Bjork it's all so quiet and Perfect Day. :d

EPIC soundtrack!!

Or even this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WHe5fxS3dA&feature=related)

[L14MNP]

I feel sorry for MK and Tanya/Burgo. :(

There is nothing to say the zombies are about to enter your room. You may have a little time to formulate a plan. MK, you must have somethign else of note next to you lol.

[Sturge]

id be ok, iv got a petrol grinder, and cutting rotting flesh will go easy on the disk lol

You seem to have an awful lot of dangerous equipment immediately to your left! I think the police should be informed as worryingly i don't doubt it's all there lol

[Mike]

Hmmmmm, what would Damper do....

[L14MNP]

EPIC soundtrack!!

Or even this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WHe5fxS3dA&feature=related)

You're on your own!

I'd be immobilised from laughing picturing Flava Flav.

Then I'd know what time it was! :( lol

[Mike]

I'd be immobilised from laughing picturing Flava Flav.

LOL lol lol lol

[MK999]

I feel sorry for MK and Tanya/Burgo. :(

There is nothing to say the zombies are about to enter your room. You may have a little time to formulate a plan. MK, you must have somethign else of note next to you lol.

Laptop/phone and a wobbly chair to my right, somewhere around here is a 11.5 kilo dumbell though, this may be of more use. There is in general a lack of weapons in the room, I had to open a blister pack with bare hands the other day due to a lack of sharp objects lol

[L14MNP]

Hmmmmm, what would Damper do....

He'd be in the Winchester with the blonde MK still thinks is next door. lol

[MK999]

Hmmmmm, what would Damper do....

Crate of stella and start drinking with them imo

[Tanya.]

Laptop/phone and a wobbly chair to my right, somewhere around here is a 11.5 kilo dumbell though, this may be of more use. There is in general a lack of weapons in the room, I had to open a blister pack with bare hands the other day due to a lack of sharp objects lol

You can just generally throw things at them? lol

[L14MNP]

Tanya has got it. Like I said, MK has zero survival instinct. lol

[Mike]

He'd be in the Winchester with the blonde MK still thinks is next door. lol

LOL hahahahaa

"2 oclock, 5 past 7, half past 3!"

"KEEP IT SIMPLE" lol lol

[L14MNP]

LOL hahahahaa

"2 oclock, 5 past 7, half past 3!"

"KEEP IT SIMPLE" lol lol

LMAO! ooh over there! err quarter to three!

Dogs can look up. :cool:

[Mike]

lol lol lol

Im off to bed anyway now, gotta check under the bed for any Z words though :S

[MK999]

Tanya has got it. Like I said, MK has zero survival instinct. lol

Pah, batter with laptop, escape out of large window on balcony and then conservatory, nip next door to ask the neighbour if they have any sugar lol

[Welsh Dan]

4D maglite, beyond that is a speaker stand that could be seperated into shield and axe subcomponents :)

[L14MNP]

Bed here too.

Joinnnnn uuuussssss. lol /non gay :d

[Hobbit]

I'm sat in a 44 tonne truck so I'm sure I could mow a few down and if I get any try to climb in the cab with me I have a 2.5 inch pipe spanner. My anti zombie game is strong.

[dj_wudgey]

id be using the baseball bat and my old black widow catapult lol

[Lee]

I will fcuk them up with an empty pringles tube and some rolly filters :)

[bazil]

I'm kinda sorted, I have 2 archery bows with a wad of target and hunting arrows under the bed, first tho I'd through the box of Lego and scatter it on the floor ( that sh!t hurts bare feet ) then pop a few bolts in there heads before leaping out the window on my left onto the fury conifer tree outside,

duno what Kat would do, she has a 3 foot me to you bear next to her and a 2 D-cell maglight, suppose I could give her one of the bows.....

[dj_wudgey]

yea the bow and arrows would do ok lol untill you run out off arrows!!

[bazil]

That's when the window comes into play lol,

[dj_wudgey]

lol fair do's then bud!! idbe firing ball bearings the lot with my catapult lol

[bazil]

I'd defo be going into the garage for the old scythe ( sp )
you know it's one of those old tools that never gets thrown out, just incase you may need it to behead teh zombies lol

[dj_wudgey]

yea a sythe would be quite usefull lol especially if its nice and sharp lol

[Southie]

The Zombies stand no chance, I have otex ear gunge remover one squirt and there done for lol

[dj_wudgey]

you going to melt them with it eh nbc lol

[Tanya.]

Tanya has got it. Like I said, MK has zero survival instinct. lol

Woo :d Although with how ill i'm feeling I think i'd just let them get on with it and eat me lol

[Jack]

Well i'm glad i'm not the only one screwed lol
By zombies? Yikes, I thought I'd seen every kind of pr0n but apparently not.

I am quite experienced with zombies anyway. I work for the civil service ffs, its like walking into Zombie Central whenever I come into work

[Hayley]

Im at work sooo...
I could distract the zombie with the story about the woman who is having a baby with her biological grandad ( :eek: ) in the trash mag im currently reading...

or throw some alcohol gel in its eyes...

or the tinsel thats tied to my desk

[mowgli]

i don't get many visitors, so the chances of zombies at my door are pretty low....

[Jonlem]

I think we have enough vinyl to take down about 1000+ Zombies, depending on how accuate out throwing is.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v306/Jatec/messyroom.jpg

The better records being nearer the bottom so the stuff at the top would have to go first lol

[MK999]

Zombie killing meet at your place?

[Spudly]

Hmmmmm, what would Damper do....




Take the danger and mow them down bare handed whilst downing entire cans of stella in one gulp lol




I has a psycho kitten to my left, further on is a small solid wood mini coffee table and some tree decorations, i could scatter the deccies on the floor the disturb their balance then smash them over the head with the coffee table, while my kitten looks on and yawns lol

[Jonlem]

Zombie killing meet at your place?

Yep anytime, I'll get the generator going and we can play Zombies on COD whilst taking it in turns to take a few of them down from my window lol

[Bubba]

me and my flatmate are planning this, i have my .22 he has his airsoft gun, samuri sword, couple of random knifes.....and bottlecaps for monies afterwards

(too much fallout 3 i think)

[VnoNovaD]

I am the (thread) resurection.....

Good cardio +

http://zombietools.net

= win.



Prepare.

[turbojolt]

i have a copy of the bible so ready to give some nasty paper cuts

failing that i have a bag full of golf clubs and my steel cap work boots

[TeddyThom]

I've got my tower and a printer... Not the worst one I've read but clearly not the best!! I'd have to run upstairs to jump into my loft for some sharp implements that are worth anything lol

[wwmnw]

http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/header.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/1.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/2.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/3.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/4.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/5.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/6.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/7.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/8.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/9.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/10.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/11.jpg
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/zombie_how/12.jpg

[turbojolt]

were did you get that lmfao

[wwmnw]

I'd have to eat you if I told you.

[mowgli]

i don't actually find this whole internet zombie thing to be at all entertaining.... i never really enjoyed such classics as dawn of the dead, zombie flesh eaters etc. which were the in the first wave of vhs releases...sorry

[wwmnw]

i don't actually find this whole internet zombie thing to be at all entertaining.... i never really enjoyed such classics as dawn of the dead, zombie flesh eaters etc. which were the in the first wave of vhs releases...sorry

I agree, a lot of people actually think this zombie thing will one day happen especially a lad on another forum I use, he has a zombie obsession :wtf:

[Tanya.]

Hmm still don't think i'd fair very well...I have paper, pens, a dummy and a 3 day old baby lol

[AdamK]

Iv got a wall to the left of me and its a proper wall aswell so jumping through is out of the question, looking around my room im worried to say i dont have any substantial zombie killing tools:(

im zombie nom nom

[mowgli]

Hmm still don't think i'd fair very well...I have paper, pens, a dummy and a 3 day old baby lol

and a mothers protection instinct.......

but the way i see it, i can deal with gangs of sullen teenagers, so if zombies did suddenly become real, i've got experience of slow moving creatures that can't speak properly...i'll be ok.

[Jack]

I'm Ok, I'm in the middle of a Naval airstation.







...on second thoughts, I'm dead.

[Hobbit]

:d

http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p72/wiggardywoo/utf-8BSU1HMDA1MzktMjAxMTAzMTAtMTQzNC5qcGc.jpg

Maybe not the best footwear though lol

[wwmnw]

I'm Ok, I'm in the middle of a Naval airstation.







...on second thoughts, I'm dead.
Dead tasty meat for all them zombees

Pic fail :(

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSVa-GdMng2CKXSExrhWdU6VRKDSTNLvZ6iYvOyFuY4s7HYrR3yjA

Pic works :D

[wwmnw]

:d

http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p72/wiggardywoo/utf-8BSU1HMDA1MzktMjAxMTAzMTAtMTQzNC5qcGc.jpg

Maybe not the best footwear though lol

Beats my only means of defence

http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd220/lostboy_014/SDC10139.jpg

:(

[AdamK]

lol at the nazi badge proper c.o.d

[turbojolt]

Beats my only means of defence

http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd220/lostboy_014/SDC10139.jpg

:(


you after zombies or jews:confused: lol

[ste porter]

i have an electric guitar and amp nitro rc car tank with 2 bearded dragons and an old council style gas fire!

1or 2 zombies would get the guitar round the face shed loads of them and the fire would get kicked of the wall and i would be out the window with the timer on the fire set for 30 seconds!

[mowgli]

ste, you have put far too much thought into this...

[ste porter]

just staying prepared mate lol

if i had put to much thought in it i would have guns knifes axes ect hidden all over the house lol
There would also be a heavily armoured scania v8 sat in the drive in prep for the survival stage

hmmm second thoughts that wouldnt be a bad idea of to the yard to fetch my lorry and to the shed to grab the welder i thinks pmsl

[mowgli]

now a v8 scania, as long as the limiter is off, would be an ideal zombie killer...

[wwmnw]

Adam c.o.d? That xbox game? Gerbiltolt - I'm not racist, I just keep it under my pillow incase the zombies break in during the night :)

[AdamK]

yes the xbox game with the nazi zombies lol

[conad]

paper cut the little sh!ts!!!!

[conad]

I have a rubberised torch

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i49/conad/24page.jpg

[AndyGTE95]

the best thing to my left to fight a zombie with is a badminton racket lol

[gunny]

I have a pillow to my left, zombie pillow fight anyone?