View Full Version : Winter driving tips
With winter approaching here is advice for driving in icy conditions
WOMEN
1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear.
2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as posible and try to fight back the tears.
3. When reachng a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere.
4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was.
MEN
1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice.
2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace.
3. When joiing a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph.
4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix.
5. Arrive at the work carpark at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo.
6. Realise that you were going to fast for the conditions.
7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
lollol
Cant wait for the ice,
fwd driting yoooooooo :roll: :cuckoo: :tosser: :d
Tommy_nova
05-11-10, 01:31 AM
1. Leave nova at home and let other numptys drive.
1. Leave the nova at home and purchase one of these :cool:
http://www.formatmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Ken-Block-x-DC-Trax-STI-1.jpg
Tommy_nova
05-11-10, 01:38 AM
Conner rep yor way ahaha thats awesome...
Haha, great tips... Awesome
1. Leave the Nova at home and use the Celica :cool:
my tip.... snow drive with enough distance to avoid all other obstacles, and at a speed that you can safely control the car, then once mastered, try this when it is foggy or raining.......
also bmw's or their drivers can't actually see any further down the road than lesser car owners, even though they think they can do 90+ in any condition on the motorway
^ Proper HID and projector lights work wonders.
I agree with you though. How is it that a woman can come flying past you on a snow covered, unused outside lane doing 50/60+ in her MX5 or BMW yet peoople that actually understand how dangerous that is and what the consequences will be are stuck crawling along at 40ish? Obviously I am talking about heavy snow here.
It amazes me that so many of them do that without a second thought!
General Baxter
05-11-10, 11:05 AM
use the handbrake more ?
Danny s-p
05-11-10, 11:06 AM
tip 1 drive only if you really have to
General Baxter
05-11-10, 11:08 AM
what like 5 yards to the shop,
id rather crash my car, then have people laugh at me, as iv sliped over lol
nans_nova
05-11-10, 11:10 AM
lol same as
and unfortanley i have crashed my car going up the shops in the snow
General Baxter
05-11-10, 11:11 AM
i did i ploughed the patrol into a saxo lol
I never crash in the snow :d (lol why did I say that?!)
I just get stuck, well I did last winter. All good fun!
top tip - dont enter industrial estates at 30mph untill you can be sure just how slippy the corner is lol
lol Previous experience Draper?
My top tip is also for industrial estates, don't enter them unless you can get back out without becoming snowbound! lol
TeddyThom
05-11-10, 11:35 AM
i did i ploughed the patrol into a saxo lol
Goodbye Saxo lol
lol Previous experience Draper?
yep, last time it snowed lol
me and DK (lionel to you lot) had been playing one night, went back the next night and it had obviously l re-froze and was like an ice rink but i didnt think to check before hnd and hit the kerb - sold the 106 for profit in the end tho lol
yep, last time it snowed lol
me and DK (lionel to you lot) had been playing one night, went back the next night and it had obviously l re-froze and was like an ice rink but i didnt think to check before hnd and hit the kerb - sold the 106 for profit in the end tho lol
lol it can get a bit sketchy when that happens can't it! I'm surprised you dooshed the curb. I though DK would have been the one, but then again he prefers mounting roundabouts doesn't he? lol
I'm gonna miss the winter playtime this year! :(
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v698/ManorQuay/Volvo%20360/volvoice.jpg
Bwaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrpppp lol
Southie
05-11-10, 12:34 PM
what like 5 yards to the shop,
id rather crash my car, then have people laugh at me, as iv sliped over lol
http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/fat-man.gif
Top tip - buy a rwd car :)
Cant wait to feel like a drifting god while driving at 5mph lol
use the handbrake more ?
http://files.myopera.com/drlaunch/albums/94593/quite-really001.png
I've never had to use the handbrake in snow to get a slide on
General Baxter
05-11-10, 12:47 PM
I've never had to use the handbrake in snow to get a slide on
im taking into account its a nova site, gay wheel drive
Use snow covered lanes on the motorway in a HGV :)
oh wait that's my job
Top tip - buy a rwd car :)
Cant wait to feel like a drifting god while driving at 5mph lol
They get stuck. lol
Also they crab about when trying to get off the drive/up narrow streets etc. Sketchy fun!
step 1. buy a Land Rover. check :)
Step 2. Engage diff-lock
Step 3. Laugh at all the idiots revving their engines to the limiter and spinning their front wheels trying to pull away and sliding into ditches
Step 4. repeat step 3 every day through winter
:thumb:
Or as my mate done last year:
Step 1. Buy a Defender 90 - check
Step 2. For some unknown reason assume it is safe to stick the O/S wheels into a snow drift in the centre of the road whilst travelling at around 40 MPH.
Step 3. 180 and cause the car behind to lock up and dive into the snow drift at the side of the road.
Step 4. Do not realise you caused this, accuse the Civic of following too closely and join the other 5 people digging and pushing it free all of whom stare at you with complete disbelief.
Step 5. Get back into your Land Rover and recap then reshuffle the events until in your own mind you are free from any form of guilt.
Step 6. Try and convince Mr L14M that you are in the right!! lol
General Baxter
05-11-10, 01:46 PM
step 1. buy a Land Rover. check :)
Step 2. Engage diff-lock
Step 3. Laugh at all the idiots revving their engines to the limiter and spinning their front wheels trying to pull away and sliding into ditches
Step 4. repeat step 3 every day through winter
:thumb:
step 1 laugh at the fools who has a landrover lol
lol it can get a bit sketchy when that happens can't it! I'm surprised you dooshed the curb. I though DK would have been the one, but then again he prefers mounting roundabouts doesn't he? lol
He'd trashed it and dumped it at the side of the industrial estate before I even got there! lol We doing that again this winter Damper? :d
Pfft, who hits curbs in snow :roll: lol
flyin flea
05-11-10, 05:08 PM
step 7 - laugh and belittle half-wit chelsea tractor drivers who having just boasted how they didnt get stuck thanks to their AMAAAAAAZING four wheel drive, then admit they never engaged central diff. lock by any means.... at all, and learn they've actually been driving along in an over inflated egotistical smug self-confident manner.... with a deluded false sense of security, when they learn they're actually only 2wd.... just like "all those other idiots around you"!!!
step 7 - laugh and belittle half-wit chelsea tractor drivers who having just boasted how they didnt get stuck thanks to their AMAAAAAAZING four wheel drive, then admit they never engaged central diff. lock by any means.... at all, and learn they've actually been driving along in an over inflated egotistical smug self-confident manner.... with a deluded false sense of security, when they learn they're actually only 2wd.... just like "all those other idiots around you"!!!
actually in something like a disco, which is permanent 4WD with a center differential, you are technically only 1 wheel drive without the diff locked lol and with it locked its still only 2 :tard: lol
General Baxter
05-11-10, 11:02 PM
actually in something like a disco, which is permanent 4WD with a center differential, you are technically only 1 wheel drive without the diff locked lol and with it locked its still only 2 :tard: lol
at last someone who knows :roll:
you need center lock, and axel locks :thumb: true 4x4
nova*bitch
05-11-10, 11:35 PM
Honestly,there are SOME women who can drive all year round you know!
The only thing that petrifies me and makes me wanna cry is the other folk driving round you.bloody chuffing eejits they are :mad:
Honestly,there are SOME women who can drive all year round you know!
http://www.telegraph.wisecodes.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/FastestWomen_240809.jpg
she can drive me anytime she wants ;)
sabine schmidt? (SP)
oh hell yesh.
tut tut
who is the only female ever to win a wrc event ? AND IN THE GROUP B ERA TOO!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNFaGL8VWgk
andy_mk3
06-11-10, 12:10 AM
2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace.
FLOL lollol
hey ive done it...on a hill...got 120 :p
novaload1992
06-11-10, 04:24 PM
oh great another winter driving the nova :p, i should really get another more reliable car for winter lol
farmertom
07-11-10, 12:43 PM
tut tut
who is the only female ever to win a wrc event ? AND IN THE GROUP B ERA TOO!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNFaGL8VWgk
too true bazil :)
Dave VXR
07-11-10, 01:03 PM
I love driving in the snow, i tend to enjoy taking my dads car out, 2L DTi vectra, can wheel spin it on the clutch :P
And when the back goes on them.. you know about it..
ABS is pointless.. last year when everythink froze went down the lanes to my sisters, was only doing like 40mph if that... all 5 miles of lanes where froze, was just snaking everywhere... loved it
all this cobblers about cross locking diffs...try it on sand and see how much use crosslocked diffs are... a 4x4 is 4wd but not necessarily 4 wheels gripping.. if you are spinning a wheel, then it is losing traction & doing nowt. tractors do 4 wd really well, especially the new stuff with electronically controlled wheelspin for heavy tractive work, like ploughing, but the front axle is slightly higher geared. on the road, you get transmission wind up in 4wd, and propshafts can break if abused.
proper 2/4wd vehicles also use a higher geared front axle, the permanent 4wd ones are actually crap off road compared to the switchable ones.
but always, people use way too much power.
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