View Full Version : the csa.
this is for single parents out there, do you have to deal with them and what do you think, im getting a mega raw deal, wont go into detail, but i have to pay a large amount of money each month for a child im not allowed to see and its threw no fault of mine!, wish fathers for justice was still about, i feel as a farther you have no say , and get mugged of!! anyone else had this problem, please discuss....
16v Nova Kev
22-10-10, 07:21 PM
that sucks. dont think there's much you can do unless she phone's them and says you pay her direct.
whats happening?,if you feel your paying to much get your employer to give you a "pay decrease"
Explain more...
that sucks. dont think there's much you can do unless she phone's them and says you pay her direct.she moved away and took my girl, lives a life of riley at my expense and wont let me see her, her choice not mine, and i cant win, just pay money and get nothing but agro, i know im not alone but i think the whole system needs scrapping!
she moved away and took my girl, lives a life of riley at my expense and wont let me see her, her choice not mine, and i cant win, just pay money and get nothing but agro, i know im not alone but i think the whole system needs scrapping!
you need a solicitor mate
mk1nova_rich
22-10-10, 07:31 PM
you need a solicitor mate
+1
seriously, try and find a solicitor who deals specifically in this type of case and get some advice on the matter. Best of luck sorting it out pal :)
you need a solicitor matebecause i worked you get 30 mins free aid, the rest is all pay and i dont have that sort of money!! she has had six grand out of me in the last 3 years, and not even a picture or a christmas card, ive even still got here christmas presents from 4 years ago here, not that they would ever fit her now, all i ever get is demands for more money! whole thing is a joke, they know where she is and wont tell me! woman can be right b*tches sometimes!!:(
Hoochie
22-10-10, 07:32 PM
Yes i have to deal with the circus that is the CSA and have done for the last 10 years......and am fed up to the back teeth of it all, my oxygen thief ex hubby owes over 2k in payments and he thinks he knows how to play the system... I'm always one step ahead of him.
To be fair they don't have enough powers to get results as quickly as possible which gives feckless, spineless, absent parents the chance to take liberties.
Seriously i'll apologise in advance for any rants as the mere thought of the agency boils my piss!! :roll:
Vodka o'clock me thinks.
Yes i have to deal with the circus that is the CSA and have done for the last 10 years......and am fed up to the back teeth of it all, my oxygen thief ex hubby owes over 2k in payments and he thinks he knows how to play the system... I'm always one step ahead of him.
To be fair they don't have enough powers to get results as quickly as possible which gives feckless, spineless, absent parents the chance to take liberties.
Seriously i'll apologise in advance for any rants as the mere thought of the agency boils my piss!! :roll:
Vodka o'clock me thinks.half the time the csa havnt a clue! they even hung up on mw today because they didnt belive i was who i said i was:mad: , how dumb is this country!!! imo why should i pay the csa who take a large part of the money, when i cant even see her!! bonkers!
The csa are funded by what money you pay eg-pay 30 quid a week to mrs whorebag-she receives 18 quid.Csa take their bit just by sending bollox letters or phone calls demanding money be legalised menaces imo
Hoochie
22-10-10, 07:54 PM
Seriously, Every bit of info they have on my ex is what i have given them, i let them know where he works every time he changes jobs, i even told them when he got married as he conveniently forgot to inform them of changes of circumstances.
he even tried to pull the " i've got a mortgage to include in my living expenses" stunt, till i reminded them that he has no mortgage and it is in fact his wifes house which is owned outright!!
He works in bars owned by friends and is now working for his sister in law, claims to only earn £90......my ****!!....£90 goes through the books and he picks the rest up in cash on a sunday night.
Thing is until Sturge and me bought this house, i was on benefits and i made it my mission to make sure he paid for his children, i didn't benefit from it as it all went straight back to the state, why the fook should everyone else be paying to keep his kids whilst him and his latest bird run about in new cars?.
At this moment in time they are about to take him to court for the 2k he owes.:roll:
Royston
22-10-10, 07:54 PM
I've been there too.
CSA in 96 were unreal!!!!
I had/have no problem in providing money for my children, (now adults reallylol ) but the scheme is very draconian:mad:
It does seem unfair when the money you provide is used to provide the mother of your child a lifestyle, rather than providing for your child!! talking from personal experience.
Unfortunately you need legal advice to get access, and the mothers get all the dice and is an uphill battle, believe me I've been through 2 residence hearings:eek:
Royston
22-10-10, 08:00 PM
Miss Stig please don't take offence with my comments, I know it's difficult when the other side don't play fair;)
Hoochie
22-10-10, 08:00 PM
Lifestyle??...........WTF is that??.......lol, i certainly did not have a life full stop.
I couldn't even go to work as i was/am a carer for my disabled daughter....yeah the one that scumbag had a hand in making, but has done nothing for her in the 9 years of her life nor his sons.
He does not even know what her disability is called..........Grrrrr
I deffo agree with the system in the usa........Jail fathers that do not pay!
On the other hand i do think that CSA should be scrapped and power handed over to the inland revenue..
Hoochie
22-10-10, 08:01 PM
Miss Stig please don't take offence with my comments, I know it's difficult when the other side don't play fair;)
Royston.......... oh i'm very thick skinned, don't worry i'll soon let you know if i'm offended ;)
Royston
22-10-10, 08:04 PM
Lifestyle??...........WTF is that??.......lol, i certainly did not have a life full stop.
I did say from my personal experience, which is obviously very different to your circumstances;)
He should pay, and be willing to do so, shame on him!
Seriously, Every bit of info they have on my ex is what i have given them, i let them know where he works every time he changes jobs, i even told them when he got married as he conveniently forgot to inform them of changes of circumstances.
he even tried to pull the " i've got a mortgage to include in my living expenses" stunt, till i reminded them that he has no mortgage and it is in fact his wifes house which is owned outright!!
He works in bars owned by friends and is now working for his sister in law, claims to only earn £90......my ****!!....£90 goes through the books and he picks the rest up in cash on a sunday night.
Thing is until Sturge and me bought this house, i was on benefits and i made it my mission to make sure he paid for his children, i didn't benefit from it as it all went straight back to the state, why the fook should everyone else be paying to keep his kids whilst him and his latest bird run about in new cars?.
At this moment in time they are about to take him to court for the 2k he owes.:roll:my fat ex bird lives on a farm with her new boyfreind and claims as a single parent, they have it easy, she rang the csa after we split and told them i havent given her a penny since my girl was born, witch was utter s*it, and the csa clawed back 3 grand then! i brought everything she owned, and never let my kid go without. years later, still no meeting with my kid, just demands from the csa!! sucks big time:(
grass them up for benefit fraud for a kickoff?
dstevenson
22-10-10, 08:11 PM
this is for single parents out there, do you have to deal with them and what do you think, im getting a mega raw deal, wont go into detail, but i have to pay a large amount of money each month for a child im not allowed to see and its threw no fault of mine!, wish fathers for justice was still about, i feel as a farther you have no say , and get mugged of!! anyone else had this problem, please discuss....
Been there, well still am there tbh. Solicitor is best bet to sort access for you to at least see your girl. Might have to go to court but if you have done nothing wrong they will make a right of access order.
On the CSA, unfortunately that is another matter altogether. They don't give a stuff about the fact that your ex may not spend a penny of your money on your child. My ex certainly does not, she gets a small fortune from me (15% of your take home pay for one child, 20% for 2) and I still have to buy my son clothes, etc. as she spends most of it on herself and her new boyfriend.:mad:
He does not understand if I say that I already give her money for him, puts you in a very difficult position with your own child as they cannot see the issue from an adult perspective.
CSA will take the money directly from your employer if you do not keep up payments via standing order, direct debit, etc. I have wasted so much of my life arguing with them. As has been said the only way is to effectively take a "pay cut", but not many employers can/will fudge such a thing as it causes major issues with HMRC for tax, nat ins, etc.
I seriously considered quitting work but I have a good job which I enjoy, etc. so have just had to get on with it and pay the money. My son has been fully informed of the facts, how much she gets, etc. as he is old enough now to begin to understand (he is 16).
Good luck, but sort the access, that is the priority. Money can always be found, children can't.
Sorry about rant, but your post struck a chord and raw nerve lol
David
Mrs rexy used to work for the CSA, she hated it and has left now...
And it works both ways some of the cases she told me about were just stupid and funny.
I don't have any kids, and we dont plan to until im well into my 30's :D
Royston
22-10-10, 08:15 PM
Bear in mind false claims are FRAUD:)
The scheme has changed for the early days, my exwife couldn't submit her "boyfriends" details although he lived there, and eventually they cancelled her claim (my circumstances were very different as I has one of our children and she had two of them, very long story and not going into it;) )
Back to you need legal advice;)
Royston
22-10-10, 08:18 PM
Good luck, but sort the access, that is the priority. Money can always be found, children can't.
Sorry about rant, but your post struck a chord and raw nerve lol
David
I think you summed it up well:thumb:
Hoochie
22-10-10, 08:20 PM
@ Andy, i have reported them all the inland revenue for tax fraud.
@ Alex, deffo see a solicitor, get a good one that specialises in family law, your ex cannot legally keep your daughter from you,
i had an 18 month battle fought by solicitors to get him to see his kids......the pr1ck just kept finding excuses not to have them, doubt he could afford another argument with me...£3500 that fight cost him...and all to make sure he DIDN'T see his kids, cos it was never suitable for him...:eek:
I stayed living local but after 10 years of cr@p i decided it was time for me to move on and have a life. so we moved from Newcastle to Cumbria 6 weeks ago!!
He's not ever picked up a phone ( both kids have mobiles as well as me) to ask how they are or about their new schools.
My sister has a daily similiar battle for maintenance for her son TBH. Its basically ended up me, my dad & other brother help her out else she'd be funked.
I would speak to a solicitor. How old is your little girl? I know sometimes if it goes to court they will listen to the child if they say they want to see their dad/mum but I think it depends on the childs age.
CSA are a load of poo they always have been. I would 100% see if you can get legal advice. Good luck :)
Hoochie
23-10-10, 10:55 AM
In court, iirc the child has to be 11 to have an opinion.
In court, iirc the child has to be 11 to have an opinion.
I thought it was. I know it depends on the court as well.At a court in Essex it's 16 as that's apparently when you're an "adult" and able to make your own decisions. Another court I know of my brother was only 8 when he was asked.
Legal advice is deffo the best route to go down.
Royston
23-10-10, 11:30 AM
The older the better, my eldest son decided to vote with his feet and lived with me from the age of 9, in @ 97 his mother (who had won residence for all 3 children) dropped him off, clothes and all, but this was never contested and residence for him was transfered to me.
claire6069
23-10-10, 11:50 AM
i closed my case with csa, they're f**king useless!! alfies dad has been working since february and up until i closed the case at the end of august, i got 7 weeks worth of money!! hes working for a friend and they were fiddling the books to avoid him paying it so i closed the case, useless pratts wouldnt even investigate it!!
alfies dad (sperm donor) hasnt seen him since 15th december last year so basically a year, imho, if he was that bothered, he'd be round my house every day banging on the door demanding to see him, but nothing, he sees my best mate up town most weekends and all he asks her is if me and steve are still together!! alfies 4 in may and hes never had a birthday or christmas present off him, not even when we were together for his first year.
i understand its different for you as shes moved away but if your little girl means that much to you, drive to see her mum and suggest supervised contact if that makes her feel better? if not, i suggest family mediation service, if it ends up going to court and you've made the effort to try and she hasnt, it will go against her, i've done everything in my power to try with alfies dad in the first year we split but now i figure if he ever does take me to court (highly unlikely) hes going to look bad - didnt bother with mediation, not seen him for a year, not paid for 4 months now, hes posted a picture of him and alfie in the delivery room back through my letterbox with 3 cards to alfie and me saying hes sorry but he has to go now and some other bullsh!t but tbh, we're much happier without him
CSA are totally useless. My father has never paid a penny for me or my brothers and sister, then went on to have two more children with other women, which he also hasn't paid for. Mother hen had three jobs at a time whilst we were growing up, so that she could afford to keep us fed, sheltered, dressed and clean. Apparently he wasn't earning enough to have to pay, then it was £5/month (between FOUR growing children!) which he didn't manage to pay, yet was always away on holidays etc (oh and he's joined Facebook and it says he's had his own driving instructor company for 20 years). Now he's after contact, you know now we're all adults and no longer need him! lol Now my mum has four grown-up hard-working children who fight over who's going to treat her next :p Gotta love Queenie!
It's a crap system and seems to work for the horrible *******s/bitches and against the good people. I hope you ladies get some money off them ****s and I hope you can sort out seeing your little girl dude. It's not fair on the children.
i know it will cost you money, but get the family court involved, get some custody/set visiting dates in writing.... there is nothing more spiteful than an ex partner when kids get involved.. my mum spent years trying to brainwash us kids & my dad was paying every penny that was due... i used to have to sneak out to see my dad, and when i was driving deliberately drive the other way up the road so she wouldn't suspect.
it is hell for everybody & they never seen to think the child will be affected, they are..... but i have yet to hear of a good story to do with the CSA, an ex worker had to sell his house & lodge with his elderly parents, even though his ex partner was married to a wealthy bloke, she had a good job, and the daughters weren't allowed to see him, but he was paying 95% of his wages to them cos the ex told the csa he hadn't given them a penny.. it took a lot of work to fix that mess.
No gaurantee you will get to see her even if the court grants access, ive been through it.
ex told me she was pregnant months after we split up, i put her up somewhere to live when her parents threw her out even though i was with my current partner at the time, she went home few weeks before baby was born took everything i had bought then wouldnt let me see my daughter, had me arrested for threatening her, thatgot thrown out because i kept all the texts from her an her boyfriend threatening me and the ones i sent only ever asking to see my daughter not a single threat.
ten spent 2 years going throgh family court only for her to say to them that im violent and we have been to court for it and she wont feel safe at a contact centre unless my gran was there with us.
then she hardly ever turned up, i was driving almost 40 miles to get there and she wa calling like 5 mins before the appointment to cancel. so ive stopped it for now, it wasnt very fair on my gran with her bing in her 70's
but i am still paying csa a stupid amount, even though shes living with her boyfriend claiming benefits as a single parent and ive only ever sen my daughter 4 or 5 times in 6 years
/\ she is probably getting your daughter dressed up & ready on days when you will not be meeting to make her think you are terrible.
like i said, there is nothing more spiteful than an ex when there is a child involved.
/\ she is probably getting your daughter dressed up & ready on days when you will not be meeting to make her think you are terrible.
like i said, there is nothing more spiteful than an ex when there is a child involved.i agree with you 100% on that.
Hoochie
23-10-10, 08:43 PM
Some people are just nasty, spiteful sorry excuses for human beings.
My ex MIL deffo should of spat!!!
in my family there have been some horrendous things to do with divorces.
my cousins ex husband killed their kids & then jumped off a multi storey car park. that is the single most selfish act i ever encountered......
on a lesser level, i have a second cousin who has, with her parents help made sure her daughters father has absolutely nothing to do with her including telling him that the daughter gets too distressed when she visits him.... on one occasion, she rang the daughter & told her she was going to get her a puppy, but couldn't as she was at the dad's at the time, so the daughter was wound right up & went mental, and when fetched home, oh they'd decided to get a puppy for her anyway.....
cruel, manipulative & basically despicable behavior.
its easy, if shes being a cow, hire a hit on her.
jk. a mates going through this atm, hes basically told his ex if he doesnt get his daughter every other weekend he will stop paying. she responded with " i'll drag you trough all the courts then" his reply, which was priceless was, try it when im in brazil with my daughter. he has family there and you cant be extradited from brazil ;) worked wonders.....
so his ex puts an injunction on him & the ports & airports get his name on the list as a flight risk.... then he gets less chance of seeing her.....
he'd be gone before she knew mate ;)
not if he's already told her......
saloonwoody
24-10-10, 05:04 PM
ill bump her off for a ton ;) problem solved lol
saloonwoody
24-10-10, 05:05 PM
the mother that is not the child !
The important thing is to make sure you try your hardest to see her. Go up there and bang on the door. When your daughter is older and begins to undertand what went on, she will realise what her mum is really like, especially if she's been feeding your daughter a load of bull about you not paying amy money, or not trying to see you.
Keep all the evidence, and bide your time.
dougie_boi
26-10-10, 04:46 PM
i know how you feel there alex ive got 2 sons one was 8 on july 31 and not seen him since he was 3 weeks old and another son with somebody else who is 3 on november 22nd and never yet been able to see him as my ex,s ignorant and cruel theres not a word bad enough to describe been through the court and just made a fool of with there lies and all the rest of it and i pay the csa every fortnight as well and still have no rights what so ever and they just basicly want every penny/ benefit going but one got a surprise when she moved her new bf in without declaring and he worked full time and a great wage so the social got a wee tip off im not a grass but they hurt me the hardest way possible so goes around comes around
i agree with all the above, thing are now on the move, only problem is i have no idea where she is , but the courts will be getting involved now, so that will wipe the smile of her face, got my statement from the csa saying i payed here 6 grand plus the almost 3 grand to add to that from when the claim against me started, so nine grand in complete total, and not even a picture in three years, lets just say she wont like whats about to happen;)
dougie_boi
26-10-10, 05:06 PM
i agree with all the above, thing are now on the move, only problem is i have no idea where she is , but the courts will be getting involved now, so that will wipe the smile of her face, got my statement from the csa saying i payed here 6 grand plus the almost 3 grand to add to that from when the claim against me started, so nine grand in complete total, and not even a picture in three years, lets just say she wont like whats about to happen;)excellent let them suffer the way they have done it to us mate
i have no kids, but fair play to you for paying her/csa money whilst not seeing your child not sure if i would have been able to do that tbh
i have no kids, but fair play to you for paying her/csa money whilst not seeing your child not sure if i would have been able to do that tbhshe is still mine even thow i dont see her, and wanted to pay my way, at least ive got proof i still cared even thow i wasnt allowed there. and in court will be fun for her as she will have to be there!!
Royston
26-10-10, 06:00 PM
Good luck, and be patient it is a slow system;)
I assume you will be applying for parental rights (if your not / weren't married)
Good luck with court, i seriously hope she gets whats coming to her!! :roll::d
PS.......this is Miss Stig on the gaffas laptop! :p
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