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Tilly
17-05-03, 08:28 AM
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a
knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little
Chinese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is Standing there
in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder.

"You sign! You sign!"

Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke.
Push off", and shuts the door in his face. The next day he hears a knock at the
door again. When he opens it, The little Chinese man is back with a huge truck
of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You
sign!You sign!"

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the Little
Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off! You've got the wrong bloke! I
don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he
hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same
little Chinese man, he Thrusts a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign!
You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the Little man by his
shirt front and yells at him;

"Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong
name!"

The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his
clipboard, and says:



"You not Nissan Maindealer?"

Tilly
17-05-03, 08:32 AM
An Irishman goes to the Doctor


"Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd Loik ya ta tayhk a look if you would"

So the Doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
"Incredible" he says, "there's a ?20 note lodged up there"

Tentatively he eases the ?20 note out of the man's bottom and then a ?10 note
appears.

"This is amazing" exclaims the doctor. "What do you want me to do?"
"Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out man" shrieks the patient.

The doctor pulls out the tenna and another twenty appears and another and then
another etc...

Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
"Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter, how moch was dare
den?"

The Doctor counts the pile of cash "?1990 exactly".

"Ah, dat'd be roit amount, I knew I wasn't feeling two grand!!!"

jatinder
17-05-03, 09:05 AM
lol :D

onephatnova
18-05-03, 08:25 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

novamark
19-05-03, 09:35 AM
couldnt b arsed to read em. lol.

Dave
19-05-03, 09:41 AM
2nd one was the best lol