View Full Version : funny drinking stories
'fess up - what have you (or your mate 'dave') got upto while intoxicated ?
my mate (and fellow caner) has recently come back from bulgaria with 'bulgaria '10' tattoed on his ****, and 'erin' tattoed on his arm - his girlfriend is called michelle lol
i once woke up on my mates back garden, his dad had recently chucked a bed/mattress out and id set it all up in themiddle of his lawn - the funniest part ? i hadnt even been out with said mate that evening lol
Oh you dont wanna know draper lol
Jim Mcrae
18-08-10, 05:26 PM
My mate, a tall and pretty massive indian bloke got smahed at a campsite stripped off to his boxers in the gents and challenged every terrified camperr that came in for a naked wrestle lol
General Baxter
18-08-10, 05:28 PM
mines not funny, it scares the **** out of me lol
Hmm. Face + Road = Broken front Teeth :cry: Good job I was only 14 and got them fixed for free at the dentist.
put it this way,i could exceed the bandwidth lol
General Baxter
18-08-10, 06:01 PM
stripped off to his boxers in the gents and challenged every terrified camperr that came in for a naked wrestle lol
sounds like png camping lol
I went for a beer one friday a few months ago at Robs house in scunny, and woke up two days later at Drapers, now that was a good weekend lol
Shagged my mate's sister in his parents bed, whilst he was in the next room :wtf:
put it this way,i could exceed the bandwidth lol
hmmm agreed lollol
wilson_sri
18-08-10, 07:30 PM
Went out one night and then went to crash at a mates house. Ended up going into the wrong room, getting naked and climbing into his mum and dads bed. Gutted.
craig green
18-08-10, 07:33 PM
A load of us went on a stag weekend in Newquay back in 2002 iirc. It was easter bank hol weekend. We arrived Friday lunchtime, went for a wander & a pasty. Someone suggested having just 1 pint before going out for a meal. Nobody remembers the further few pints, walking back to the B&B & having a 9 man 'pile-on' outside on the lawn, showering or most of the evening including getting thrown out of the restaurant for abusing the young waitresses, more pubs & clubbing at Tall tree's.
All this was recalled by a lad with us that didnt really drink much. Funnily enough he was the one that had alcohol poisoning for the whole of the following week. Happy Days!
someone saying to me at work one monday, what were you doing up the scaffolding outside debenhams??? i am sure i wasn't
kicking a bloke clean off a skateboard... luckily he also found it funny as he landed on top of me....
coming back from a dinner dance totally ratbottomed in full penguin suit, with my brother also in penguin, missus driving in enormous meringue dress.. she had trouble getting it out of second, and went past the cop shop at 50, in 2nd, the next morning, she said...'who drove?' and meant it
Woken up on a park bench with a straight line deep cut along my finger and no idea of how I got it
Passed out on a river bank after drinking 2ltrs of White lightning. (back in the good old days)
And.. started dating Jack. lol
1.6 gsi
18-08-10, 07:54 PM
Shagged my mate's sister in his parents bed, whilst he was in the next room :wtf:
:thumb:
and iirc, the mate still doesnt know! mwha ha ha ha
and continued too.......
its tough staying drunk for so long. lol
Shagged my mate's sister in his parents bed, whilst he was in the next room :wtf:
:thumb: lol lol lol you legend
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jack again. :(
everyone from work took me out on my 18th, and got me absolutely funked, i vaguely remember leaving the pub, but nothing of getting home, but i was told i pulled most of the gutter down pipes off the shop fronts, and challenged a train to a fight as we crossed the level crossing :tard: lol good times :d
and iirc, the mate still doesnt know! mwha ha ha ha
As far as I'm aware.... mind you, his (now-)wife knows as she was the diversion tactic that kept him busy. LOL
And.. started dating Jack.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_nQZLOCqglvA/SXisvx7mG6I/AAAAAAAAA9c/LP0XSiziqNM/s400/unamused.jpg
and there's me thinking the hot-tub story would be your bestest ever tale. lol
dougie_boi
18-08-10, 08:37 PM
one night after being at my local and drinking far to much must have left which i cant remember then somehow must have been very tired or at the passing out stage lol got into some strange persons car and fell asleep can only rember getting rudly awakend and trying to run away and still half drunk from the night before and these two guys chasing me up the street lmao
and there's me thinking the hot-tub story would be your bestest ever tale. lol
Ohhhh yeah.
Aforementioned mate, add his wife to the list (many a year prior I hasten to add!). LMFAO
Ohhhh yeah.
Aforementioned mate, add his wife to the list (many a year prior I hasten to add!). LMFAO
you sllaaaggg!
http://images.starcraftmazter.net/4chan/for_forums/wait_a_minute.jpg
rubachuk
19-08-10, 01:05 PM
My girlfriend left me drinking at a party in a caravan in Rochdale one night years ago. I guess about 3 in the morning I got a taxi back to her house where I was supposed to be sleeping and couldn't find my key. Not wanting to wake her mum up or set the alarm off by throwing things at the window, I decided to climb on the kitchen roof (single storey) so I could knock on her window gently. However I fell off (20+ stone of me at the time), broke a fence and gashed my back on the rabbit hutch.
I decided I didn't want to sleep on the floor outside so I slept on the roof of my car where the milkman woke me up a few hours later.
Nobody being up still I decided to walk back into town to get a bacon butty. Guess what I found in my pocket when I paid....
I also used to have compulsion to climb trees on the way home from the pub
my missus sold a golf for way more than it was worth, and me, her and 2 friends (1 bloke 1 female) went out to celebrate..... we were waiting for a taxi & she needed a slash, so her & the other girl went behind a building.. they went round to the left, and came out to the right.. thought we had sodded off & made their own way home, calling us b4stards, and eventually throwing up all over a taxi... after what us 2 blokes thought was a reasonable time for women to go to the toilet, we went looking for them...... so we hunted round the area, shouted for them and set off home.. to find both of them collapsed in the front porch.
Jim Mcrae
20-08-10, 02:49 AM
I upset quite a well knowen Dj by hanging onto the dj booth and falling asleep in the middle of a club, verticaly lol
waking up with my mates sister,was good at the time but not after tho,would of been better if it was her mum lol
on another note i got wonken up in someones front garden,when they was going out the funniest bit was,my mate was in someone elses 3 gardens up,was funny walking home had all grass stains over me lol
My old boss was drunk in Aberystwyth, he found a dead dog fish on the beach, went and slapped in on the counter of a chippy
"COOK MY SHARK!!!!! COOOOK MY F*CUKING SHARK MR CHIPSHOP"
one night we deliberately didn't get any vodka put in a mates 'bloody marys', seriously, he loved them, and by 11 he was acting as pissed as the rest of us & wouldn't believe that he was actually stone cold sober..
so we tried to get him to drive into town after 8 tomato juice & worcester sauces, and he was certain he was pissed....he wouldn't do it..
oh, and i once hiccupped neat vodka out of my nose & couldn't smell anything for a week
I was drinking at Reading festival. Had a super soaker full off vodka and orande :d and lots of lager. I had already had a bit out the super soaker when I decided to be a lad and downed two cans. The pressure in my stomach was too much, so I laid on the floor on my back. One of my mates shouted he'd gonna blow and I preceded to puke straight up in the air. My six foot mate said it went over eye level lol and other people came running over from the surrounding tents as they wanted to view the creature that produced such puke lol
paddy138
20-08-10, 02:03 PM
coming home in minibus one night and fell asleep, i was in seat in back behind taxi man so he couldnt see me, 2 lads i was with were in front and they got out of taxi and forgot about me, taxi man continued on his route until about 5 o clock until i woke up and scared the **** out of him as i was only one on taxi, was very funny i tought seeing as we got picked up at half 2, he wasnt impressed
went out in notts one night and ended up swapping clothes with some bird in a club..... all of my clothes....
also went out dressed as marylin monroe, and got hit on by 3 dykes....
stole a gatso camera...... it had been knocked down and now lives in a mates garage....
My old boss was drunk in Aberystwyth, he found a dead dog fish on the beach, went and slapped in on the counter of a chippy
"COOK MY SHARK!!!!! COOOOK MY F*CUKING SHARK MR CHIPSHOP"
That has me in tears lol
My ex gf, her best mate and me were drunk... we'd drank a bottle of Southern comfort straight as shots...
I egged them on to kiss....
...Then to touch each other...
...5 mins later and I'm sat drunk watching them snogging and fingering each other... So I join in... I shag the mate and then we all pass out...
...I get dumped for shagging the mate and not my GF haha
id have carried on doing teh mate, and emailing pics to the ex.
"look at what ya coulda won!!!!"
id have carried on doing teh mate, and emailing pics to the ex.
"look at what ya coulda won!!!!"
Sober I wouldn't have touched her lol. She was "BJ John's" misses at school, the deputy head caught her sucking off John in the bogs... hence the nickname
my brother and me went out for the evening round the big village where he lived... 6 pubs, several in each... anyway, he books me a taxi for 12......and a sodding bus turned up.... the driver says 'where's the rest of you?' and i had to explain that we meant 12 o clock..
Vausey_Nova_Knotla
20-08-10, 03:52 PM
slep in a lorry park (scrap lorries) me ann 2 mates, well one of my mates hot wired a fork lift and i was doing donuts in the yard with him hangine on side and ramed into gate made a fat hole any way next day we snuk out b4 man got in was funny at time but now i look and think wtf Lol
slep in a lorry park (scrap lorries) me n 2 mates well one of my mates hot wired a fork lift and i was doing donuts in the yard and ramed into gate any way next day we snuk out b4 man got in was funny
are you courting at the moment?
lmfao/\
"attention!! this is the pool attendant, get the fukk outta the gene pool!!!"
claire6069
20-08-10, 04:54 PM
lmao loving this thread!
when i was 19 i went out for a mates 18th, we went to liquid in peterborough, i got absolutely hammered within about an hour and wandered off to the loo as i was convinced that a little nap would make me better............i got woke up at 2am by the loo attendant banging on the door..........he was male, i'd gone in the wrong ones and missed most of the night lol thankfully my mates were still in the same club, ironically they didnt believe i'd been gone all that time and had only been sleeping lol
on a random night out,funnily enough in the same club, (back in the days of smoking indoors) i was a little tipsy and having a fag on the upper balcony, i remember looking down and seeing something shiny, so when i finished my fag, i dropped it straight onto the shiny thing...............................it was the bald head of a mahoosive bloke who promptly looked up and came storming up the stairs, i ran off and my bf at the time had to explain i was a little intoxicated and gave him 20 quid for beer lol
i think the worst one was last november, one of my closest friends had a leaving do as she was off travelling for a few months. she booked some tables in this nice restaurant that had just opened in town. she got a good deal as there was like 40 of us and we ended up with 10 free bottles of wine with the meal (1 bottle for 4 people). I dont usually drink wine, i think its disgusting, but i thought as it was free and i was skint, it would be incredibly rude to turn down free alcohol so there i was, not eaten anything since the thursday lunchtime and this was the friday night, within an hour i'd drank 2 bottles of chardonnay, broke 2 plates, tipped someones beer all over this woman that i didnt know coz she dared to say i was drunk, sat crying that i wanted my dad (it had been his 2 year anniversary of when he died the day before) and promptly got escorted out by 2 bouncers who just left me on the street till a good friend came and picked me up lol i havent touched alcohol since..............or been back in that restaurant lol
Had a few drinks at mine about a year ago me and a mate picked up 2 birds and were having a game of double dare
I dared one of the girls to pick up a opened beer bottle and carry it across the room without using her hands
so up went the skirt knickers to the side and she squatted over it and moved it across the room
And yes she was quite tight haha
if it was your beer, she probably used her tradesmans
skyinsurance
20-08-10, 05:38 PM
My good mate Jay woke up in the middle of the night when at a mates place, went into the parents room, opened their wardrobe and pissed all over the clothes..
Pissing 7 floors down a lift shaft in Las America's soaking a couple of lift engineers at the bottom.
Re-arranging a mates entire hotel dorm out on the communual landing in a hotel.
Accidently setting fire to a Weatherspoons.
I went to a mates house the other month on my motorbike, the last thing i remember was walking into his house
The next morning i awoke in a mate Alex's house, only to find i'd ridden HIS bike from St.Helens to Southport beach and crashed out on this lads living room floor with about 30 other people lol
He was quite shocked when i told him my bike was still in his garage, and his was next to me in Southport lol, how i didnt crash is beyond me :P
My old boss was drunk in Aberystwyth, he found a dead dog fish on the beach, went and slapped in on the counter of a chippy
"COOK MY SHARK!!!!! COOOOK MY F*CUKING SHARK MR CHIPSHOP"
lol :cry: lol :cry: lol :cry: lol :cry: lol best ever :thumb:
i was that gone on Jager, vodka (we drank the bar dry apparantly) and other cocktails of spirits at plyouth volksfest, i fell out the back of my mates VW Caddy, while badly dancing to dubstep with glow sticks, llanding on my back.....and carrying on, while on the floor. im now called the raving turtle lol
or doing a 1/2 yard of jager (which is a whole big bottle in the ball) topped up with monster....down in one...slump on the floor...a good 22nd birthday :P
i was that gone on Jager, vodka (we drank the bar dry apparantly) and other cocktails of spirits at plyouth volksfest, i fell out the back of my mates VW Caddy, while badly dancing to dubstep with glow sticks, llanding on my back.....and carrying on, while on the floor. im now called the raving turtle lol
or doing a 1/2 yard of jager (which is a whole big bottle in the ball) topped up with monster....down in one...slump on the floor...a good 22nd birthday :P
lol WIN!
no offence but i have 2 mates from lincoln and theyre both (like me) jager champions,perhaps its a lincoln/shire/scarborough thing
is jager lol,one is from st giles??
Vausey_Nova_Knotla
20-08-10, 11:36 PM
are you courting at the moment?
what do you mean have a got a bird?
anyway,coming in at 6am,pissing in the dirty washing basket,or sat waiting for the ice cream man at 3am(got confused with the milkman)
erm,was getting into a girl at 2002 world cup and asking my mate what she looked like when i were steaming,oh loads of championship entries lol
what do you mean have a got a bird?
well..... my idea of a damned good night out usually includes at least one female.... not a pile of scrap lorries & a forklift
no offence but i have 2 mates from lincoln and theyre both (like me) jager champions,perhaps its a lincoln/shire/scarborough thing
is jager lol,one is from st giles??
oh good god :eek: does he nick alloy wheels off moving cars like the rest of the gillyans lol :p
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.