Parts Wanted.. Female to keep me warm at Pv

[Rickardo]

As above, preferably one with no brain and mahoosive norks.

Pm me for special day ( Night ) out.

[Angus Closier]

Il do it?? Jokes... lol

[Graeme]

I'm sure there will be a few in that place where you spent a lot of time last year, they might relieve you of a few twenties though lol

[Jack]

Rohypnol is pretty cheap these days


er, so I hear anyway :tard:

[Mike]

Blunt object - £4
Get a women drunk in a tacky bar - £10
Swift blow to head - Priceless

[Rickardo]

Stupot has said he will share my tent. Tbh I wasn't expecting that much fun.

Graeme, I've been saying up for the little cuties who dance. :thumb:

[claire6069]

i have a friend whos lovely, i think you'd like her.........

she recently hired a private detective to find out where her ex fiances' new mrs lives lol

[peester]

tbf i managed to pull that kinda gig-off myself once.. if i may blow my own trumpet a sec.. pv2006ish or summat.. awesome.

[Rickardo]

i have a friend whos lovely, i think you'd like her.........

she recently hired a private detective to find out where her ex fiances' new mrs lives lol


She sounds like.... Erm . Fun.

[claire6069]

lol ask porter what he thinks of her at PV, hehehehe, he thinks shes a fruit loop!!
shes spent the last 5 months trying to get her fiance back, bless her, at easter, she stalked him and waited for him to go to his mrs house and put an easter egg and an i love you note on his car hahahaha lol her and his mum are plotting how to get him back lol

least you wouldnt be short of attention dude!!!

[Angus Closier]

Dont take my man love offer then...:( lol

[Lee]

lol ask porter what he thinks of her at PV, hehehehe, he thinks shes a fruit loop!!
shes spent the last 5 months trying to get her fiance back, bless her, at easter, she stalked him and waited for him to go to his mrs house and put an easter egg and an i love you note on his car hahahaha lol her and his mum are plotting how to get him back lol

least you wouldnt be short of attention dude!!!

Is she a geordie? In my experience all geordie lasses are like that lol

[claire6069]

Is she a geordie? In my experience all geordie lasses are like that lol

lol no im afraid not Lee, shes a lincolnshire lass through and through!! she has recently fallen in love with one of porters mates and actually sat in his shed with us the other day and wrote out a pro's and con's list of being with her for us to give to us this guy but when it came to the cons she said 'well, there ain't no cons to being with me' hahahahaha i've never seen porter bite his tongue so hard!!!

[Rickardo]

Pics of girl ( Lunatic) please.. :thumb:

[Lee]

i've never seen porter bite his tongue so hard!!!

.. to stop it hanging out? lol lol

[claire6069]

the one on the right

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs272.snc1/9920_148077808161_556198161_3360406_5938622_n.jpg

and now on the left:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs272.snc1/9920_148077798161_556198161_3360405_3771567_n.jpg

lol Lee, porter thinks shes errr.....not his type pmsl he shudders at how blokes can get into bed with her lol shes got 3 of them chasing her atm all saying they want to marry her!! i told her i want her secrets lol

[Rickardo]

I'd rather cuddle upto Stupot if i'm honest..

:)

[Graeme]

I'd rather cuddle upto Stupot if i'm honest..

:)


Better the devil you know? lol

[ste porter]

vile
the thought of getting in bed with her makes my skin crawl and makes me physicly boke

claire
put tea on babes i will be home it 15 mins

[Lee]

I'd rather cuddle upto Stupot if i'm honest..

:)

Oh, so NOW you have standards! :d

[hendrix]

lol she looks like a horse? haha

[Rickardo]

Oh, so NOW you have standards! :d

lol lol.

When i've finished 20 cans of stella at Pv, she might be a stunna then..

Tbh, i might try 30 cans, i won't wanna remember waking up with her.

[ste porter]

shes the type of bird that would make you cry if you woke up to seeing her next to you and not remembering if you did or didnt

[hendrix]

lol
not even a practice shag?? lol

[Lee]

lol
not even a practice shag?? lol
Rolf! lol

It are ok! I are practising!

[claire6069]

lol she looks like a horse? haha

lol she has 3 horses and teaches riding for a living!!

[Southie]

lol she looks like a horse? haha
I thought the same lol
http://i345.photobucket.com/albums/p379/SOUTHIE01/vivahorsegeezaprick.png

Rickardo find one when you get there at least you can leave her behind then instead of the extra weight on the way back home because she's in loooooove lol

[Andy]

flat cap freeda looks like Jack Sugden off emmerdale

[claire6069]

lol
not even a practice shag?? lol

lol porter said 'errr.............no' lol

Southie - i think you're onto a winner there lol knowing lisa (my mate) she'd sleep in his boot so he'd think he'd left her behind when in fact he hasnt lol

in fact heres a good comparison - the crazy ginger bird off wedding crashers lol

pmsl @ Andy lol have some rep for that :thumb: lol

[Southie]

Thing is Rickardo is small enough to ride her being the size of a jockey so would be no car to get home "if" he still wanted her lol

[Rickardo]

Dave, i like em fat, so they can't run away.

Claire, my car is stripped, so no hiding place for her in the boot. :)

[Mike]

Ill bring Leanne, she has massive norks & a pert behind, you can perve but cant touch :P lol

[Rickardo]

Thing is Rickardo is small enough to ride her being the size of a jockey so would be no car to get home "if" he still wanted her lol

lol lol . Your the Frankie Detorri look alike Dave. :thumb:

[claire6069]

Dave, i like em fat, so they can't run away.

Claire, my car is stripped, so no hiding place for her in the boot. :)

hahahahaha so they cant run away pmsl

i bet she'd hang on underneath lol or hide under your seat and as you fish about for your drink.............

theres lisa!!! lol

[claire6069]

Ill bring Leanne, she has massive norks & a pert behind, you can perve but cant touch :P lol

lol thats just teasing the poor guy!!!

[Mike]

lol thats just teasing the poor guy!!!

Meh is all I have to say on the matter lol

[claire6069]

rofl @ Mike, classic lol

i bet Rikardo is wishing he'd never posted the thread lol

[Mike]

rofl @ Mike, classic lol

i bet Rikardo is wishing he'd never posted the thread lol

I did have some rudey pics but there stuck on my old deaded laptop for ever more :cry:

[Rickardo]

Booooooooooooooooooooooooo...

[Spudly]

lol lol.

When i've finished 20 cans of stella at Pv, she might be a stunna then..

Tbh, i might try 30 cans, i won't wanna remember waking up with her.



Nah mate you dont need any stella at all, you need a jug of Hobbits local cider, not only will you remember nothing from the night before, your eyes are blurry as fook for about three hours when you wake up lol


Umm, claire sorry but as soon as i saw that pic i thought fook me, tig beeth haha:p

[Mike]

Nah mate you dont need any stella at all, you need a jug of Hobbits local cider, not only will you remember nothing from the night before, your eyes are blurry as fook for about three hours when you wake up lol

Jug? JUG?!?! A god damn KEG!!!! 37 whole units in one bottle is never a good thing!!!!

[dave watson]

the lasses from total vauxhall last year were hot stuff haha

[Spudly]

Jug? JUG?!?! A god damn KEG!!!! 37 whole units in one bottle is never a good thing!!!!



I sooooo beg to differ mate, the morning feeling of being half blind was funny as fook, ive not had ale or infact any alcohol thats done that to me in a long time lol

[stupot89]

pmsl @ this thread

and as far as the woman is concerned BUGS BUNNY springs to mind lol

[hendrix]

haha this thread is proper cracking me up.


spud I remember tig beeth lol

[Spudly]

spud I remember tig beeth lol



Lmfao, from the meet when i first met you scunny guys haha lol

[hendrix]

lol yeah. hahahah. good times :thumb:

[adam c]

I sooooo beg to differ mate, the morning feeling of being half blind was funny as fook, ive not had ale or infact any alcohol thats done that to me in a long time lol

Where can i get this stuff?:eek: :confused:

[Spudly]

Where can i get this stuff?:eek: :confused:



Cornwall lol

[wwmnw]

Dave, i like em fat, so they can't run away.

You'll love the offer I just PM'd you then lol

[Angus Closier]

Epic....to be honest i still would....(after a few) Iv just no standards...

[mrT]

ffs guys...if it was a chance of abusing myself or destroying her trust me it'd be destroying her....you'd have to be minced as she is a pig but end oh the day she prob never gets it so it'll be all holes stretched apart from that dangerous mouth of hers lol

[Sloth]

apple and tennis racket spring to mind.



dont see the mantlepeice when poking the fire tho.

[claire6069]

lmao @ you guys

latest update on her stalking activities are shes bedded one of his mates whos told her he loves her after 2 days (!) and shes written her ex a love letter, took it round his dads house and spent all this morning sat outside his mrs house waiting for him to turn up lol
shes also dumping his mate coz she dont love him and hes not her ex hahaha

afraid i cant type what porter commented coz it will just look like this *********** pmsl

[ChrisMk1]

Cracking thread! PMSL
6 pages long and still going.
Any other bugs bunny girls out there??
Chris

[novaguy08]

lmao @ you guys

latest update on her stalking activities are shes bedded one of his mates whos told her he loves her after 2 days (!) and shes written her ex a love letter, took it round his dads house and spent all this morning sat outside his mrs house waiting for him to turn up lol
shes also dumping his mate coz she dont love him and hes not her ex hahaha

afraid i cant type what porter commented coz it will just look like this *********** pmsl

righto then.

Thats normal.

[Spudly]

Lmfao @ Claire after seeing the offending article (apparent woman) and i cant imagine it would physically be possible to consume enough alcohol to want to bed it lol

[moffat]

lol pmsl great thread

[Andy]

lmao @ you guys

latest update on her stalking activities are shes bedded one of his mates whos told her he loves her after 2 days (!) and shes written her ex a love letter, took it round his dads house and spent all this morning sat outside his mrs house waiting for him to turn up lol
shes also dumping his mate coz she dont love him and hes not her ex hahaha

afraid i cant type what porter commented coz it will just look like this *********** pmsl
Theres only one man who can sort this mess out.
She/they need to go see Jeremy Kyle

[claire6069]

lol she confessed to me last night that she thinks jeremy kyle is hot!!! hahahaha!!!

Spud saw her for himself yesterday, his mate couldnt stop laughing and called her 'keith teeth' lmao especially when she saw the 'pro' list and then saw she was trying to do all the dances to all the JLS songs (shes going to see them in july) lol she told porter she'd show him her dances, at this point he turned round and walked off lol

[Spudly]

Lols Kc (casey) was rather impressed by her and was giggling to herself on the way home about the list, especially the last one on there 'not pregnant' lmfao lol

[novaguy08]

Lols Kc (casey) was rather impressed by her and was giggling to herself on the way home about the list, especially the last one on there 'not pregnant' lmfao lol

Pregnant women are HORNY! So I dont understand this one. the other good reason is that you dont have to worry about a random phone call 15 years down the line with some kid saying your his dad!

I have 3 kids, sex with pregnant women is always wild and fantastic fun! :thumb:

[claire6069]

Pregnant women are HORNY! So I dont understand this one. the other good reason is that you dont have to worry about a random phone call 15 years down the line with some kid saying your his dad!

I have 3 kids, sex with pregnant women is always wild and fantastic fun! :thumb:

lol agreed, the raging hormones do make women incredibly horny but you did see the pics of the girl we're on about didnt you?! lol

[claire6069]

Lols Kc (casey) was rather impressed by her and was giggling to herself on the way home about the list, especially the last one on there 'not pregnant' lmfao lol

lol she also liked the 'pretty (ish sometimes)' hahahaha lol

[Spudly]

Pregnant women are HORNY! So I dont understand this one.


I must admit i said in some cases thats not too much of a bad thing as you cannot get them pregnant but trust me ive seen this lass and the camera makes her look a lot prettier than she is in real life, and well go look at the photos and try to guess what im telling you :eek:



lol she also liked the 'pretty (ish sometimes)' hahahaha lol

I nearly wee'd when i read that bit, youre only pretty (ish) somtimes, err thats being enthusiastic love haha :p

[blue_peg_16v]

shes one of those that if you woke up not knowing you would have to scrub yourself with ajax for a month lol

[Jon_nova1]

sorry but the horse is definately not going to be getting any of Rikardo, after hearing all the stuff i don't think anyone on PNG would touch knowing the trouble it would cause, i'd even go as far as saying i'd go to PV just to donate my body to Rikardo if he's comtemplating her lol

[claire6069]

lmao @ Jon

she went on a date last night and left with the excuse of 'britains got talent is on' because the guy wasnt a 'bad boy' lol he was (apparently) gorgeous as in model material, own house, car and a job but still not acceptable because he dont do naughty things lol

shes now back on to porters mate - who she wrote the 'pros' list out for and is going to trade in her 1.2 corsa for a vts (yes, hes just got a vts lol)

[Sloth]

£10 says this ends with a rape charge or an injunction.......lol

[claire6069]

lol bet is on!! she was actually contemplating kidnapping him at one point lmao

[Sloth]

im sat at my desk lol'ing so hard i have actual tears.....

what exactly does she want in a man? rough and ready or posh boy?

i have a mate who can give her a rough time (and genital warts)

[claire6069]

lmao she actually wrote out a list and it goes something like this:
must be blonde
must have own car
must have money
must play football (she likes footballers)
preferably older
must be local (so she dont have to travel far lol)

i know theres more but i cant remember them all lol

porter reckons she cant afford to be that picky lol

she does like a bad boy, someone who smokes weed and steals judging her ex lol

[GRUNT 16V]

lmao she actually wrote out a list and it goes something like this:
must be blonde
must have own car
must have money
must play football (she likes footballers)
preferably older
must be local (so she dont have to travel far lol)

i know theres more but i cant remember them all lol

porter reckons she cant afford to be that picky lol

she does like a bad boy, someone who smokes weed and steals judging her ex lol sounds like a wanna be wag lol

[Jon_nova1]

sounds like a delusionist lol

[claire6069]

lol shes both!!

[farmertom]

she sounds like my perfect woman

apart from the fact im dark haired and don't play football

[GRUNT 16V]

sounds like a delusionist lol
you tell me what woman isnt one of these !!!!!!!!!!!! lol

[Jon_nova1]

Hunt down a crack head, im sure they won't expect much lol

[mowgli]

women get a bloke, make him dump his mates, then stop his hobbies, then they start buying all his clothes for him, then dump him cos he's miserable & has changed from when they met............it doesn't need a calculator really, does it......

[claire6069]

lmao @ mowgli - stereotyping!!! i have never done any of that to any boyfriend!! the whole point in loving someone is loving them for who they are, not what you want them to be!

lol Jon - her ex was a drug dealer, he once hid 10k worth of coke in the boot of her car so she flushed it down the toilet, hunted him down in town and tried to run him over and then said 'o ****, his really fit mate was watching! i've got no chance with him now he thinks im a lunatic!' hahahahaha lol

[Sloth]

lmao she actually wrote out a list and it goes something like this:
must be blonde pooftah?
must have own car stolen ok?
must have money £10 or £1000000?
must play football (she likes footballers) in the park or for a proper team?
preferably older so she can shag him to death?
must be local (so she dont have to travel far lol) lazy cow!

i know theres more but i cant remember them all lol all that for a shag, christ..

porter reckons she cant afford to be that picky lol he's right.....

she does like a bad boy, someone who smokes weed and steals judging her ex lol the cast of shameless are in then..... :thumb:.

[mowgli]

lmao @ mowgli - stereotyping!!! i have never done any of that to any boyfriend!! the whole point in loving someone is loving them for who they are, not what you want them to be!

i have seen it happen too many times over the years, some girls are always trying to make their new bloke look like a better version of their ex, who they really haven't got over.... some blokes are daft enough to go along with it.....
why do you think lots of young single blokes end up commiting suicide???? i know one who did that over a girl. he gassed himself in their car. she had that car for years afterwards........

[claire6069]

omg mowgli are you being serious?! thats awful!! why on earth would she want to keep it?! strange girl!!

lmao @ rob - good work and 110% right hahaha!!! have some rep for the effort :thumb: lol

edit - it wont let me, apparently i gotta spread some around lol

[mowgli]

that girl had been with his brother first, then chucked the brother for him... then lived with him, & started messing around elsewhere, but she really had screwed with his head, then he killed himself.. i had known the lad for 10 years, luckily the girl left the area

[Sloth]

edit - it wont let me, apparently i gotta spread some around lol

*must avoid dodgy comment......* lol

[claire6069]

lol rob, it does sound bad doesnt it!

mowgli - she sounds like a right classy girl lol i wonder if she ever thought 'you're brother didnt do it like that' and actually said it one day lol

[GRUNT 16V]

lol
women get a bloke, make him dump his mates, then stop his hobbies, then they start buying all his clothes for him, then dump him cos he's miserable & has changed from when they met............it doesn't need a calculator really, does it......
could not of said it better myself !!!!!!!!! well done that manlol lol

[claire6069]

alot of men are like that may i point out! my ex was a control freak, but when you're involved in it, you cant see it, after 4 1/2 years i finished it 18 months ago and cant believe the person he turned me into!! i was scared to go out, none of my friends would come round because he was rude and eventually wouldnt let me see them, he smacked one of them in the middle of a local pub (yes, a girl), he spent all our money on beer so his mum had to pay our rent and i had to borrow money off my uncle and cousin for petrol and food, eventually that dried up and i had to use my sons nursery fee money to get to work and eat, once he even took my car keys to work with him so i couldnt leave the house, he turned me against my family, and at my lowest point, i was actually sat shaking on the sofa with my next door neighbour at the thought of him coming home because he was angry that he'd ran out of money, so its not just women that do it!!