View Full Version : jehovah witness at the door
Just had two knock at the front door and after he went on and on and on for a good 10 mins in the pooring rain he still wouldnt go when i ask him nicely.
I have found away to make them f'#koff tho.
I went into the kitchen and let 3 Boarder terriers loose.
Ive never seen anybody leave the garden so quick.
I dont think they will be back for a wile.
Rant over.
:thumb:
puss puss
01-05-10, 11:17 AM
i always ask differcult questions and stuff make it drag on for about 30-45 minutes lol...
same with the people on the phone etc i ask differcult questions things like when was this company frist founded and stuff like how do i kno who you are etc lol
best thing to do on the phone is to ask them for there phone number.when they ask why you want it say well they have yours and call whenever they like so only fair.
best way to get rid of the people ringing up, if ask them if they like spongebob or scooby doo and then just talk about it for a while. they dont have a clue what to say back. and for the door, i just look through the window to see who it is and then go sit back down :) soon go away.
if they dont shut up just close the door in there face!!! not that hard to work out.
oh and you need bigger guard dogs!! people stand the other side of the gate when they come to the front door and cross the road when walking up the side of the house lol
LMFAO some came round here the other day peddling copies of The Watchtower.
To be fair, when I politely said I wasn't interested, they were Ok with it and left. I was sorely tempted to ask if they had anything featuring Allah though lol
Saloony
01-05-10, 12:19 PM
We dont get them round here no more, our next door neighbours are Joey's, there 'friends' made a mistake of coming round here a day after my sis had passed away. Dad answered and let them have it on childhood, that there is no almighty and blood transfutions (that was his fav one) which my sister had many.
They asked me to be a Jehovah witness once, but seen as i hadnt seen an accident i didnt feel it was right lol
Failing that, before answering the door, crack out the black sabbath album, crank it up and offer them in, stating we're just about to call on satan, come join.
Tell them you have no fags left or you dont smoke,and/or you wont go in shop for them either lol
I had someone at the door basically claiming that Darwin was an idiot that obviously didn't read the bible, I actually tried pointing out to them that they were the idiots until they said "but if evolution really were true, wouldn't there be loads of evidence in fossils... but theres not" I gave up at that point lol
Jon_nova1
01-05-10, 01:24 PM
lol ^^^ legend!
we never get them round here, maybe they already know no-one will answer the door, we do occasionally get sky/people wanting to do our driveway, to which i say i don't watch tv as it is and i'll only break the driveway by spilling oil on it/having an axle stand make a nice rectangular hole in the tarmac lol
Darwin's a legend he can be cited loads to annoy them.
My next door Neighbour is one, she gave me a Watchtower once as she thought I could and would use one of it's articles for homework which I blatantly didn't have/wasn't going to do if I did have. Sneaky cnuts
answering the door naked gets rid of them aswell
answering the door naked gets rid of them aswell
Get to the gym then :p
dj_wudgey
01-05-10, 05:41 PM
i just shut the door lol!
I've never had a Jehovah's witness at my door since I moved out of my Mum's!
To be fair, when I politely said I wasn't interested, they were Ok with it and left. I was sorely tempted to ask if they had anything featuring Allah though lol
I love that song she did... You know the one....
*edit, oh no wait the was Aaliyah. :(
How could you be so cruel to people spreading the word of the good lord?! You should have invited them in and had lengthy discussions about how great God is!
Praise our lord!
my brother is passionate about hating jehovas witnesses... I was forced to go to sunday school with him & he had no interest in the bible at all... then one day 2 jw's knocked on the door, and he gave them fire & brimstone for 20 minutes without stopping, quoting passages from the bible & picking holes in every attempt at an argument they gave, it was incredible to watch.
recently, they turned up at the farm & they said, 'we were just driving round and....' he then said...'well you'd best **** off then'..... they did.......
novaguy08
01-05-10, 10:15 PM
Darwin's a legend he can be cited loads to annoy them.
My next door Neighbour is one, she gave me a Watchtower once as she thought I could and would use one of it's articles for homework which I blatantly didn't have/wasn't going to do if I did have. Sneaky cnuts
Actually one godly knocker come up with the perfect defence for this....... I was quite shocked really when she come out with it!
She said that God made the earth in 7 days, however they do not say how long "Seven days" is, therefore it could have been millennia, and just shortened to days in the Bible.
Touché!
Still, iirc Jehovah Witnesses also means you dont have any debts, so they pay them for you. heard of one fella going to one meet, getting a cheque for 10k to clear his debts and never coming back! Other then that, no actually had any knock our door..... Had Mormons once........ Elder Bill and Elder Ben..... one was American and one was fat....... lol now they wouldn't go away! You could also see the disappointment in their faces when they asked for my phone number I told them I would take their number and call them!
I do enjoy winding them up.... simply tell them your either a devout something, or have absolutely no interest in religion.
i wrote my first nova off... i had to take a day off work to wait for the recovery man.. it was pissing down & a JW knocked on the door.. i invited him in for a cup of tea on the condition that if he mentioned religion, he'd be put back outside... we had a really nice chat about all sorts of topics, and once you get rid of the religion, they are quite normal people
When they come here I always ask them if they love all gods animals, of which by law they have to say yes. At this point I ask them if they want to meet my dog (i dont actually have a dog) an they always say yes & ask what its name is, and hes called Satan :)
Gets them everytime, and they come here loads as next door but one is there bleeding church :(
tbh if i did that with my dog, he would be put down for being a pitt bull! (even though he isnt hes a staffy but a frickin big one at that!)
mine fun with them is to play deaf, saying what, cant hear you.......WHAT??? your just wasting my time.....sorry what? Winds even them up :D
OR jsut be working on your car with the head phones in! works even better :D
Asa-James
01-05-10, 11:46 PM
We used to get them every Christmas morning, until my brother in law greeted them with a cheery "merry christmas! What did you bring me? If I'd have known you were coming I'd have got you something! Come in for a drink and well celebrate Christmas together!" they haven't been back since...
Richie_B
02-05-10, 09:23 AM
Anyone seen the youtube link where some JW's (may have been something else) can to a fellas door and he basically grills them about their preachings. Is good but can't find it :(
I remember that. Some American bloke. A good 10 mins long.
I wanna know more about having them cut me a cheque. lol
FLOL @ those that ignore/excuse evolution. Religown3d!
I remember that. Some American bloke. A good 10 mins long.
I wanna know more about having them cut me a cheque. lol
FLOL @ those that ignore/excuse evolution. Religown3d!
+1
lol
:thumb: Fancy it Draper? Fcuk. I'd even do the door knocking for a bit. If the only 'ties' are to my eternal soul.
That's got to be BS! lol
can you imagine me turning up at your door preaching hail mary etc etc
actually people wouldnt suspect i was doing 'gods' work, they suspect i was pissed
*Seriously looks into it* lol
novaguy08
03-05-10, 09:15 AM
Dudes.
Like I said, he turned up once, got the cheque, never went back lol
timbo1980
03-05-10, 10:48 AM
I used to be woken up every so often buy the fookers:mad: ,didnt like to tell him to get to F*ck,The guy always commented on my astra gsi i had saying he had one without the sporty bits, they woke me a few weeks later ,so opened the upstair window & poured a bucket of water over them & asked if they liked my holy water,never seen them again
This sums it up nicely :)
*WARNING NSFW*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJynygnjMC0
last time i had a freak knock on the door was years ago, naturally i met them with my normal charm. We still see them walking around our streets but i havent had my door knocked since 2006 (i think they got the message lol):thumb:
nova_saloon
03-05-10, 12:26 PM
This sums it up nicely :)
*WARNING NSFW*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJynygnjMC0
lol
Richie_B
03-05-10, 07:48 PM
I remember that. Some American bloke. A good 10 mins long.
It'll be in your favourites :@
We had some Jehovas Witness's at the door a while back
I opened the door wearing a Darth Vader face mask, holding a light sabre
They just turned round and left lol
i usually look out the window n if its JWs u can just tell i wind ma dogs (2 staffies) getting them to bark then go to the door open a little to peek out keep looking in say get in as talkin to dogs the doont really hang about wen i do that lol
Another good tactic is to open the door with a tenner, and just before you give it to them, say 'oh, hang on.. there's a picture of Darwin on this! Sorry, you obviously wouldn't want it' and slam the door in their face.
brainsnova
03-05-10, 11:23 PM
talk through the letter box ftw
Lol we have a kingdom hall just down the street from lous mums , so they often do the doors round there , but since the estate that we live on has quite a bad rep they won't be seen on as they would actually be hurt by the kidds / youths that think they are bad lol
djshaggeh
04-05-10, 10:07 AM
The last jahovers (sp) to turn up at my door was the morning after a rave. I was asleep on the living room floor. I woke up looked out of the window and suggested to my friends that I should answer the door with 'WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY SLUMBER' but one of my friends had a better idea. He had taken some pills not long before. So off he went! I think he was there for about 40 minutes chatting cod ****.
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