Hyanes Manuals??

[boy-ray]

I know it might sound daft but is there any difference between the Nova workshop manual and the service & repair manual?

I'm seriously thinking about doing a rebuild and was wondering whether to get one, the other, or both?

[L14MNP]

I haven't seen the Nova workshop manual but usually for other makes a workshop manual is more detailed than the Haynes, more settings etc too. Get both as they have their uses!

[boy-ray]

Probably a good shout. I'm looking for my first Nova as project car (having never had one) at the moment.

Thinking it might be wise to make sure I know what i'm letting myself in for.

[novaguy08]

Can I just say that Haynes are good if you can read them....

I know that several people have looked at them and ended up forgetting about using them later on because the language they use can be quite baffling (undo bold as in FIG.c and move the gizmo to point B as shown in FIG.X.5 but where the f*ck is FIG.c to start off with!?) I know that I ended up never using the haynes again after a cambelt change, I took it apart according to the Haynes and then put it back together again myself because it took so long to do!!

Best bet is to use some masking tape & money bags to label EVERYTHING where it goes & where it attaches to. as that way unless you label something wrong its all going back as it come out.

However no idea about the difference between the two books.

[Jack]

Best bet is to use some masking tape & money bags to label EVERYTHING where it goes & where it attaches to. as that way unless you label something wrong its all going back as it come out.
Thats actually a good idea. Done that a couple times on the Celica as you don't really have service manuals for them.

There's also differences between each edition of the Haynes manuals anyway.

[novaguy08]

Speaking of celica Jack, its a black one with high wing on the back yeah?? Looks good!! (only saw it passing by craigs)

Wow, sorry did you just say something that I posted was a good idea?! lol

[L14MNP]

Goes wthout saying that when you strip a car label and store it all safely and sensibly! A few pics won't hurt either!


The REAL meaning of the Haynes instructions
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.


Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).

Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".

Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.


Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "******" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!

Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain spanner or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.

Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid. Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.

Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model.

HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE spanner: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact spanner that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.

PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.





Engineering Terms
* A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
We are still pissing in the wind.


* EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.


* CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
We know who to blame.


* MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
It works OK, but looks very hitech.


* CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.


* PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch


* TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.


* THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
The only person who understood the thing quit.


* ALL NEW
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.


* RUGGED
Too damn heavy to lift!


* LIGHTWEIGHT
Lighter than RUGGED.


* YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
One finally worked.


* LOW MAINTENANCE
Impossible to fix if broken

[Jack]

Speaking of celica Jack, its a black one with high wing on the back yeah?? Looks good!! (only saw it passing by craigs)

Wow, sorry did you just say something that I posted was a good idea?! lol
Aye, freshly lowered too

[boy-ray]

Love those Haynes definitions, done many of them myself :-)

[novaguy08]

You forgot the OH****IT tool.... something that you throw across the room when doing/using any of the above to then find out it was the tool you needed for the job in the first place.

[mowgli]

get the earlier light blue haynes in preference to the later green one... it is way better, with tons more info & none of that three spanner means its difficult cobblers........ its a sodding nova, all of it is easy

[Jon_nova1]

The thing i found with Haynes was

when i got my first car, which was a nova, i thought i'll buy a Haynes to help me since i hadn't touched a car in my life and was quite young at the time

"Unbolt the distributor by the retaining nut on the underside of the distributor"

I bought you to be of use, where the hells the distributor!

Or...Lumpy idling can be caused by.......

yes, wheres that and tell me more??

by the way, distributor was an example, i can't remember what Haynes explained to me what i didn't have a clue where it was located lol

[novarally]

If anyone wants Haynes manuals for the Nova, don't buy them new, I have loads of them!

E-mail;

colinesmith@aol.com

[AlexW]

get the earlier light blue haynes in preference to the later green one... it is way better, with tons more info & none of that three spanner means its difficult cobblers........ its a sodding nova, all of it is easy

Dont cover Mk2 stuff though, so preety pointless for any proper nova owners.

[Southie]

Dont cover Mk2 stuff though, so preety pointless for any proper nova owners.
What would you know Tigra lover :gay:

[AlexW]

Tigra? Whats one of those? Its 99% gone.

[Jon_nova1]

why what happened? did your other half take it with her when she clocked you sticking your c*ck up its exhaust pipe leaving you with just the steering wheel cover:p

[mowgli]

Dont cover Mk2 stuff though, so preety pointless for any proper nova owners.

funnily enough, my copy also has NOVA mk2 (THE POORLY WRITTEN SEQUEL)tagline " its back & pissed up"

[novaguy08]

Tigra? Whats one of those? Its 99% gone.

This is true.

He now owns a 3pot Corsa B

[AlexW]

lol Look at all you jumping on me :( lol

3pot is epicness, leave it alone. And it had nothing to do with the misses, more due to the fact of a group 13 insurance premium.