wisewood
08-04-03, 07:41 PM
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of
your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on all your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM
access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and
uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you
attempt to play.
If you drive a Ford, it will start missing like a
Chevy. It will program your phone auto dial to call
only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your
beer.
For god's sake, are you listening?
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you
are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo
with Immac, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend
behind your back and billing your Visa card. It will cause you
to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only
fun when someone loses an eye.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your
active verbs to passive tense and incorporating
undetectable misspellings that grossly change the
interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98/XP
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and
leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to
a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden
tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also
refill your skim milk with whole milk.
PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS
YOU CAN!
If you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds
you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and
shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks
that will ignite the person nearest you.
immediately. Do not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty.
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of
your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on all your credit cards.
It reprograms your ATM
access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and
uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you
attempt to play.
If you drive a Ford, it will start missing like a
Chevy. It will program your phone auto dial to call
only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your
beer.
For god's sake, are you listening?
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you
are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo
with Immac, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend
behind your back and billing your Visa card. It will cause you
to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only
fun when someone loses an eye.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your
active verbs to passive tense and incorporating
undetectable misspellings that grossly change the
interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98/XP
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and
leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to
a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden
tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also
refill your skim milk with whole milk.
PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS
YOU CAN!
If you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds
you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and
shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks
that will ignite the person nearest you.