.

[let_nova]

Lonely Old Lady
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you....you have no legs!"
The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

that is all

[NASTYNOVA]

ha ha

woman in asda notices a young assistant, he has such a cute **** it makes her randy.she asks him to carry her shopping out to her car,on there way out she cant hold back any more and says to him " i have an ichypussy" to this he replies "youll have to point it out love, all these jap cars look the same to me!!"

[let_nova]

Q.Whats blue and ****s grandmothers?
A. Hyperthermia

[let_nova]

doctor: I have some good news for you, and some bad news for you.
patient: whats the bad news?
doctor: you're H.I.V positive.
patient: whats the good news?
doctor: you also have altzheimers, and by tomorrow you would have forgotten about it.

[let_nova]

An elderly couple go to the doctors for the results of the old womans tests
The doctor calls the old man outside and says "There has been a mix up with another patients results"
She either has Alzheimer's Disease or aids
What are you going to do says the husband
We age going to drop the old woman off on the edge of town
And if she finds her way home
DONT SHAG HER!

[let_nova]

Two little boys went to knock for Mark.
"Hello is mark coming out to play war"
"What do you mean you know mark has'nt got any arms and legs"
"I know we want to use him as a sandbag"

[let_nova]

A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."

[mowgli]

whats blue and doesn't fit???


a dead epileptic

[let_nova]

lmao

[let_nova]

and a bad one

Two mongs were cooking dinner.The husband says to the wife,
Where's the meat?"
"In the fridge"
"wheres the potatoes"
"in the cupboard"
"wheres the cabbages"
"still at school"

[Jadey]

two blokes been down the local for a drink. they get completely mortal, soon they leave. one bloke says i fancy a woman , the other goes oh yes defo. so they go to the brothel down the road. knock on the door. a woman answers and welcomes them in, she takes them to a private room each and says give them a blow up doll each, they are outta it, so they do the dead and leave, the 1st bloke goes i think mine was dead, the other goeas i think mine was a witch, i gave her ass a juicy bite, she let a big one out then flew outta the window. lol