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Jack
17-07-09, 12:10 PM
Just "archiving" (with the DEL key) some old emails, and came across this one :d

The Year's Best Headlines:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors


And the winner is....

[B]Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

twistysnovagte
17-07-09, 12:15 PM
PMSL at those.

Jack
17-07-09, 12:24 PM
Also found this which raised a lol

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.

Spudly
17-07-09, 02:01 PM
I like the quote from die hard with a vengeance

Said simon to the pieman "give me your pies, or i cav your head in" lol

mowgli
17-07-09, 02:08 PM
my favourite headline ever was allegedly from an irish paper

Garda found Safe hidden under blanket

I hope it was true