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View Full Version : BLONDE JOKE!! i found it amusin ne way



frillip
08-01-03, 12:10 PM
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”

The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slow.”

linzTDI
08-01-03, 04:35 PM
thats crap :roll:

Breeny
08-01-03, 04:59 PM
sorry couldn't be arsed to read it lol

jon_boy
08-01-03, 05:31 PM
made me chuckle

wisewood
09-01-03, 12:07 PM
heard it before..
quite funny :D

frillip
09-01-03, 06:07 PM
well sssssssooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy for tryin to get some jokes on the brew

dave.gsi
09-01-03, 07:23 PM
went out today to buy some camoflage pants.........


couldn't find any.


:lol: :lol:

jon_boy
09-01-03, 07:25 PM
lol. u fool. so simple, but it made me chuckle. again. i laugh too mcuh. maybe i should just put the NOS to the car not my mouth........

frillip
09-01-03, 07:33 PM
some one find a better one?

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:23 AM
A construction worker comes home just in time to find
his wife in bed with another man. Incensed, he drags
the man out to the garage and puts his johnson in a
vise.

He secures it and removes the vise handle, then picks
up a hacksaw.

The man, terrified, screams, "Stop! Stop! You?re not
going to?to?cut it off, are you?"

The husband shakes his head and hands him the hacksaw.
"Nope?you are. I?m just going to set the garage on
fire."

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:24 AM
A guy goes to his doctor because he?s been having
problems remembering things. After a battery of tests
the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I have bad news, and
I have very bad news."

"What?s the very bad news?" the man asks warily.

"Well," says the doctor, "our tests show that you have
cancer and only have three weeks to live."

"Oh, my God!" says the man. "Well, what?s the bad
news?"

"Our tests indicate that you also have Alzheimer?s
disease," says the doc.

"Well, I can always look on the bright side," says the
man. "At least I don?t have cancer!"

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:25 AM
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns
to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate
has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you
end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a
school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a
shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"

"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship
when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."

"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How?d you get the eye
patch?"

"A sea gull shit in my eye," the pirate replies.

"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the seaman
asks.

"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the
hook."

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:26 AM
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
No, because he's really heavy"

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:27 AM
Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:28 AM
So I went to the dentist.
>> > > > >> > He said "Say Aaah."
>> > > > >> > I said "Why?"
>> > > > >> > He said "My dog's died.'"

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:28 AM
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and
>> > > > >> > said
>> > > > >> > 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:29 AM
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there
>>are
>> > > > >> > 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either
>>my
>> > > > mum
>> > > > >> > or my
>> > > > >> > dad.
>> > > > >> > Or my older brother John. Or my younger brother
>> > > > Ho-Cha-Chu. But I
>> > > > >> > think
>> > > > >> > it's John.

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:30 AM
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a
>>month
>> > > > >> > for the next 2 years.

dave.gsi
10-01-03, 01:31 AM
i could carry on, but i think thats enough for today :lol: