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mowgli
06-03-09, 09:40 PM
why do they call it a Bandstand, when the band always sit in them?????

Mike
06-03-09, 09:41 PM
Ah, but when a band assembles in the aforementioned "Bandstand" prior to commencing play, they all stand. Then are seated. Then they commence normally a god awful collaboration of assorted noise.

Spudly
06-03-09, 09:42 PM
I think its just a term tbh, like a "stand" at a show or grandstand tbh it doesnt actually mean stand, its just a saying as such.

But then again i could be amazingly wrong lol

mowgli
06-03-09, 09:43 PM
Ah, but when a band assembles in the aforementioned "Bandstand" prior to commencing play, they all stand. Then are seated. Then they commence normally a god awful collaboration of assorted noise.

ok, why do they then play that tune that nobody knows, but the words are 'All of a sudden a bloody great pudding came flying through the air......'???????

Lee
06-03-09, 09:57 PM
I saw a band standing on a bandstand.

So there.

Mike
06-03-09, 09:59 PM
ok, why do they then play that tune that nobody knows, but the words are 'All of a sudden a bloody great pudding came flying through the air......'???????

I only know mass released music from 1970 through to 1990. Anything else produced after or before those dates it alien to me.

The lyrics you say, they dont ring a bell im afraid :(

Mike
06-03-09, 10:00 PM
I saw a band standing on a bandstand.

So there.

I saw a 3 legged horse once, he wasnt on a bandstand but I saw it none the less.

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:02 PM
isn't it nice to have a proper muppet thread, totally pointless, but without malice........

please post up more questions......

Lee
06-03-09, 10:03 PM
Shut it baldy.

Mike
06-03-09, 10:04 PM
please post up more questions......

Whats all this I hear about birds & bee's? I mean, how can a penis, be reffered to as a bee, or a bird? How does having a baby, getting some cider fuelled bird up the duff then talking about it resemble anything bird, or even, bee shaped?

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:04 PM
Shut it baldy.

periwinkle blue

Spudly
06-03-09, 10:07 PM
Whats all this I hear about birds & bee's? I mean, how can a penis, be reffered to as a bee, or a bird? How does having a baby, getting some cider fuelled bird up the duff then talking about it resemble anything bird, or even, bee shaped?



Ive been saying this for years.......


Why teach kids about birds and bees, its humans we need to know about and maybe this is why there are so many teen mothers and pregnancies these days!

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:08 PM
Whats all this I hear about birds & bee's? I mean, how can a penis, be reffered to as a bee, or a bird? How does having a baby, getting some cider fuelled bird up the duff then talking about it resemble anything bird, or even, bee shaped?

its just a dubious euphemism for sex really, the bird (think 1970's woman) lays the eggs, and the bee (think bloke from the 1970's) produces a sticky gooey substance.....

Mike
06-03-09, 10:13 PM
its just a dubious euphemism for sex really, the bird (think 1970's woman) lays the eggs, and the bee (think bloke from the 1970's) produces a sticky gooey substance.....

That solves it then. Im a rather odd kinda way lol

Next qeustion....

Why is it in mans nature to destroy there selves :confused:

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:16 PM
That solves it then. Im a rather odd kinda way lol

Next qeustion....

Why is it in mans nature to destroy there selves :confused:

because of wimmin

Mike
06-03-09, 10:18 PM
because of wimmin

Hhhhmmmmm, women are happy to sit back and let us lads blow seven shades of foshizzle outta each other though. Even though its them has to clean up after us, wash our army gear (hypothetical of course, im not sexist) (well I am but meh) and then cook our dinner.

There just a weird bunch of born & bread "slaves" for want of a better word. Bonus!!!

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:22 PM
Hhhhmmmmm, women are happy to sit back and let us lads blow seven shades of foshizzle outta each other though. Even though its them has to clean up after us, wash our army gear (hypothetical of course, im not sexist) (well I am but meh) and then cook our dinner.

There just a weird bunch of born & bread "slaves" for want of a better word. Bonus!!!


when a man does an act of violence, it is physical & spontaneous. when a woman does one, it is the product of several hours of cold hard scheming, then finding a weapon, then finding the lowest cut top & the push up bra so that when the rozzers turn up, they will be so busy looking at her knockers, that they will miss clues........

Mike
06-03-09, 10:26 PM
when a man does an act of violence, it is physical & spontaneous. when a woman does one, it is the product of several hours of cold hard scheming, then finding a weapon, then finding the lowest cut top & the push up bra so that when the rozzers turn up, they will be so busy looking at her knockers, that they will miss clues........

I like your thinking. That, that I didnt think off....

Saying that, women are evil though. I was so conifedent my missus wouldnt stab me with a knife, that when she put a steak knife through my hand I was fooking shocked lol she kept threating & I though she was taking the pish, obviously not! I know look at her in an etirely different way with a lot more respect aswell.

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:28 PM
I like your thinking. That, that I didnt think off....

Saying that, women are evil though. I was so conifedent my missus wouldnt stab me with a knife, that when she put a steak knife through my hand I was fooking shocked lol she kept threating & I though she was taking the pish, obviously not! I know look at her in an etirely different way with a lot more respect aswell.

you just scared me, a lot........:( :( :(

I think I now finally understand why you left the land of jellied eels for the land of the pork scratching, its witness protection, isn't it?

Mike
06-03-09, 10:37 PM
you just scared me, a lot........:( :( :(

I think I now finally understand why you left the land of jellied eels for the land of the pork scratching, its witness protection, isn't it?

Its the poeple around me that need protection Mowgli (Esp Sparkies!) well, I grown up with swords/knifes/bayonettes etc as my father is an avid, fully licenesed collector... so one evening she was totting said steak knife being a general spanner, things like that dont really bother me, so she stabbed me to see if that bothered me which amazingly it didnt either :tard: even though it should off without a doubt.

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:42 PM
for some reason, this image springs to mind

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/abr/lowres/abrn486l.jpg

Mike
06-03-09, 10:58 PM
for some reason, this image springs to mind

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/abr/lowres/abrn486l.jpg

LMFAO!!! It was like that, just less blood lol

mowgli
06-03-09, 10:59 PM
I actually got a 3 prong fork stuck in my hand, when I tried to nick a chip from my brother.... the scar faded after 15 years

Mike
06-03-09, 11:35 PM
lol i stabbed my sister in the head with steel fork when i was little. For no reason at all, just though it would be a nice thing to do for some reason.

mowgli
07-03-09, 12:05 AM
is your original surname lector???

Mike
07-03-09, 12:24 AM
is your original surname lector???

Close but no cigar lol

Apparently the NHS seem to think I have an immensly high pain tolerance though, which is handy owning a Nova lol

mowgli
07-03-09, 12:28 AM
Close but no cigar lol

is it Lewinsky??? or clinton???

MK999
07-03-09, 12:30 AM
Close but no cigar lol

Apparently the NHS seem to think I have an immensly high pain tolerance though, which is handy owning a Nova lol

You took a steak knife to the hand without being bothered and needed the NHS to confirm this? :wtf:

mowgli
07-03-09, 12:32 AM
You took a steak knife to the hand without being bothered and needed the NHS to confirm this? :wtf:

he didn't want to provoke her into the 'john wayne bobbit' swipe that would have happened next......

16xe_chris
07-03-09, 12:59 AM
why do they call it a Bandstand, when the band always sit in them?????

I once got told to go buy a long stand, but they don't sell them, took them a long time to check the stock room though:confused:

Hobbit
07-03-09, 06:14 AM
Do fish feel love?

mowgli
07-03-09, 07:55 AM
I once got told to go buy a long stand, but they don't sell them, took them a long time to check the stock room though:confused:

when you are next there, could you look for a metric adjustable spanner,, a peeder file and some fallopian tubes, I'm sure they are in stock

mowgli
07-03-09, 07:56 AM
Do fish feel love?

I met one last nght that had a load of chips on its shoulder......... I think they are quite angry, when it was in its tank, it was spitting a lot & another one was badly battered.

Spudly
07-03-09, 07:59 AM
I met one last nght that had a load of chips on its shoulder......... I think they are quite angry, when it was in its tank, it was spitting a lot & another one was badly battered.



I might be wrong but i have a sneaking suspicion that might have been your local chip shop bud, and the reason it was spitting was probably in protest to being cooked lol

mowgli
07-03-09, 08:11 AM
I might be wrong but i have a sneaking suspicion that might have been your local chip shop bud, and the reason it was spitting was probably in protest to being cooked lol

well its a theory, I suppose