View Full Version : 'As Much Use As...' Thread
vaughanmc
03-11-08, 06:27 PM
Lots of people use the term ' You're as much use as...'
What ones do you know ?
Heres some of the ones I've heard lol
You're as much use as:
A chocolate teapot
A trap-door on a canoe
An ash-tray on a motorbike
A chocolate fire-guard
A fart in a space-suit
Stevie Wonder as an eye witness
What other ones are there ? lol
vaughanmc
03-11-08, 06:30 PM
lol
turbojolt
03-11-08, 06:31 PM
a chocolate fire poker
a used condom?
cock flavoured Lolypop??
NovaGuy1400SRi
03-11-08, 06:33 PM
Chocolate fireguard
Handbrake on a canoe
Solar powered torch
I'll put more up when i can think of them :thumb:
A chocotale fireguard
A one legged man at an ar$e kicking contest
There are loads more i know of but cant think of them at the mo lol
vaughanmc
03-11-08, 06:34 PM
One about the torch is good lol
Also heard the one - ...a shelter on a solar panel
A surfboard with handlebars
A handbreak on a canoe
tits on a fish
A Stephen Hawkins Action Figure (http://www.strangebuys.com/Toys/Humor/Simpsons-Series-13--Dr.-Stephen-Hawking-Interactive-Action-Figure.html)
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Cock flavoured loLlypop
NovaLad
03-11-08, 06:35 PM
91_Nova_SR (http://www.pngclub.com/forum/member.php?u=26493)
about as much use as a three legged rocking horse in the grand national
A one legged man at an ar$e kicking contest
That is my all time fave onelol Makes me giggle just thinking about it. Going to try and find some video of said man.
vaughanmc
03-11-08, 06:39 PM
lol Thats a belter that one
NovaBoi92
03-11-08, 06:41 PM
a submarine with electric windows
wilson_sri
03-11-08, 06:45 PM
90s Vauxhall rust protection
That is my all time fave onelol Makes me giggle just thinking about it. Going to try and find some video of said man.
Its a good one that but not when you say it to your mates kid brother who is being a dumba$$..........
His response was to undo all the buttons on his addidas pop-offs (god thats how long ago it was lol) and unstrap the velcro on his prosthetic leg and slide it off!!!
He near enough wet himself at the look of horror on my face having realised what i had just said!
I couldnt beleive that but he found it hilarious tbh and couldnt stop laughing, lol
NovaGuy1400SRi
03-11-08, 06:49 PM
90s Vauxhall rust protection
lol lol
So true!
as much use as anne franks drum kit lol
as much use as anne franks drum kit lol
harsh but good!!!!!lol lol
smcgsi16v
03-11-08, 06:59 PM
as a fart in a wind tunnel.
as a blind guide dog.
as much use as L33 LEG going to the cops to sort own number plate fraud
vaughanmc
03-11-08, 08:23 PM
Any more ? lol
Shaun_O'Donnell
03-11-08, 08:28 PM
Inflatable dartboard.
vaughanmc
03-11-08, 08:28 PM
lol Cracker!!!
Hah they saying's are good lol Iv not heard some of them before :p
Shaun_O'Donnell
03-11-08, 08:36 PM
Soluble tampon.
NovaLad
03-11-08, 08:39 PM
As much use as Mazz on a go kart
twistysnovagte
03-11-08, 08:48 PM
......a square wheel
a lead balloon
a glass hammer
stevie wonders sunglasses
lol
NovaGuy1400SRi
03-11-08, 09:00 PM
a glass hammer
lol
You get glass hammers in buses etc, which are useful :)
t1ts on fish
gabrielles depth perception
gary glitters passport
Nova_Tek
03-11-08, 10:13 PM
Electric blanket during a power cut
Wet blanket in winter
Blind person trying to text
Nova_Tek
03-11-08, 10:18 PM
Electric supercharger (the silly case fans in a cone filter jobbies)
Two legged tripod
NovaGuy1400SRi
03-11-08, 10:33 PM
Two legged tripod
FAIL
Wouldn't be a tripod if it only had 2 legs :p
Nova_Tek
03-11-08, 10:36 PM
wouldnt be funny if it was called a bi-pod would it?
the tripod in the phrase allows the other person to picture the item, then with only two legs, hence making it funny.
you FAIL sir with your attempt to FAIL someone else
lol
well no, because a tripod with 2 legs, is a bipod!
FACT
Epic Fail!
Nova_Tek
03-11-08, 10:46 PM
ahh do I really have to explain the concept behind the phrase?
If you were to say bi-pod instead tri-pod when syaing the phrase to someone they may not understand what you said hence making the joke a FAIL.
Therefore, like I said earlier, the tripod in the phrase allows the other person to picture the item, then with only two legs, hence making it funny.
Welsh Dan
03-11-08, 11:42 PM
the PNG search function.
brainsnova
03-11-08, 11:45 PM
tartan paint
a bubble for a spirit level
left handed screw driver
belly257
03-11-08, 11:47 PM
ejector seat on a helicoptor
NovaGuy1400SRi
03-11-08, 11:48 PM
the PNG search function.
lol lol
It can be alright sometimes though, apart from when it doesn't let you enter small words.
stevenf
04-11-08, 01:16 AM
As much use as a hedgehog in a condom factory
As much use as a lead parachute
As much use as a grave robber in a crematorium
As much use as a used stick of dynamite
As much use as a Durex machine in the Vatican
As much use as a sandbag in the desert
...a fscking MOD computer network :mad:
As much use as a Hangover
As much use as a nippless Tit
As much use as a hole in your sock.
Shaun_O'Donnell
04-11-08, 09:48 AM
As much use as a hole in your sock.
How would you get your sock on without the holelol lol
vaughanmc
04-11-08, 06:14 PM
lol Any more of these ?
as non-stick cellotape
as a packet of rubber nails
as roll on hairspray
as an inflatable dartboard
as a solar powered tourch
as a squirrel in a nut factory
as porn to a poofta
tartan paint
a bubble for a spirit level
left handed screw driver
tartan paint is available... cos they put it on the shortbread tins......
a bubble is rather useful in a spirit level, otherwise it would just be a stick.....
I'm left handed & they actually market left handed screwdrivers, the grip is different........
Just thought I'd dampen the fun a bit
a bubble is rather useful in a spirit level, otherwise it would just be a stick.....
I was thinking that, spirit levels do have bubbles in them?!
I have another one. About as much use as dod, as he told me E30 headlamps would be a straight fit to my Irmscher front panel. He lies!
Get fuxked!! They do fit, whats wrong?
a wheelchair with pedels lol
Get fuxked!! They do fit, whats wrong?
Do not fear, king of bodge has prevailed :D
a wheelchair with pedels lol
haha. Some crackers in here and some old favourites lol
I think the guy meant the spirit level bubble in the same context as go and get some tartan paint or a box of angle grinder sparks?
Fail lol
twistysnovagte
06-11-08, 08:15 PM
You get glass hammers in buses etc, which are useful :)NO,get it right ,there called "toffee" hammers,which are used for breaking glass,i mean come on your post was as much use as a glass hammerlollol
Welsh Dan
06-11-08, 10:40 PM
No. Toffee hammers are for breaking toffee. Glass hammers are for breaking glass. Made-from-glass hammers are useless :p.
as much use as....
trying to be pedantic to a dullard
A 'Glass Hammer' really exists, it is specially made so you don't damage the pane when knocking the little nails in, sorry.....
http://hardwareaisle.thisoldhouse.com/images/2007/06/05/lvd2746hammer.jpg
http://www.businessfurnitureshop.com/images/glides/rubber-nail-on.jpg
/\/\ rubber nails.....
Theres also a Glass hammer to help fit panes of Glass in double Glazing.
A Toffee Hammer is for breaking glass on eg a Bus or similar but it also known as a Glass Hammer.
What about Sky Hooks?
What about Sky Hooks?
http://www.bc-girlguides.org/contactus/guidestores/images/Skyhooks.jpg
Where the **** did you find those?
Where the **** did you find those?
They call it Google. Welcome to the internet.
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/covertopcqc/1.jpg
:eek: http://www.80stees.com/images/products/The_Simpsons_Homer_They_Have_Internet_on_Computers _Now-T.jpg
DaveyLC
07-11-08, 08:54 AM
a wheelchair with pedels lol
Funny you should mention that a mate of mine has got a wheel chair with pedals.. But they are at arm height :thumb:
Southie
07-11-08, 09:25 AM
An ashtray on a motorcycle.
A lead parachute.
A handbrake on a canoe.
An unleaded pencil.
A waterproof teabag.
A blind lifeguard.
lol
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